feel like life is not worth living, living with someone tearing you apart, criticising?

Question

and a controller, they refuse to listen?

always negative about you, if you change your behaviour/view to the way they want, they criticise then deny they said it and tell you to act, breaking down, been doing it for 10 years...nothing pleases them, and with that therefore they feel the right to make your life a living hell....and it doesn't help when your life is already difficult

Answer 1

Please, you will have to explain further.





http://www.myspace.com/desperatedan86

Answer 2

i know how you feel,you could be describing my life, the thing is it isn't you.but I imagine at the moment you are worn down and feel pretty worthless but you are not ,you are a person in your own right, have you any friends that you could confide in,you need to take a long hard lookis this person,going to change , or will you always be treated like this,are they going through a bad patch,or is this their personality, whatever way they are a bully,and you deserve better ,I was told terrible things by my partner last week,he has since said he was angry and didn't mean them,my advice would be if ther is any where you could go for a break and think things through then if things are not going to change think about getting out, you don't deserve this ,youmay have tomake some big desisions and mythoughts are with you all the best

Answer 3

I've read the answers given so far and think that the answer from Gail s is the best. I've also been where you are I was with one for 8 years and the other 16 years. After 16 years of trying to please and to cope I ended up having a stroke and spent 3 months in psychiatric hospital. In hospital I had time to reflect, out of this came 3 major realisations:
1) Throughout my life I'd always been attracted to the same kind of person; 2) I realised that each relationship started the same, loving, admiration, respect etc. everything I wanted, having reeled me in the criticisms started slowly and got worse until they had me in their control; 3) I learnt what I didn't want from a relationship.
When I recovered and went home it was worse than before, finally I got out and got my life back. It took me 2 years to get the 'old' me back. After that I started focusing on what I didn't want rather than what I did when I met someone, now I have a lovely partner. We've been together 6 years, love each other unconditionally so we are both ourselves (no criticism at all) and have never argued. If you think you love your control freak your wrong, loving someone means loving everything about them and you don't. Get out as soon as you can, live alone, find yourself and tread carefully before jumping in again. Good luck, I hope you have family and/or friends to help and support you.

Answer 4

you reason for putting up with it, is fear of change, you need to believe in yourself,and make a move. What you don't want in your life, you should get rid of it.Take a chance and go find happiness.it is out there. I have been where you are for over 15 years...i found my strength, put my fears on hold, and took the jump...i am so liberated,happy, and carefree. You don't know how good life is until you have control of it.
Your life is yours,not somene elses,why would you let that happen. Don't be afraid, life is beautiful,

Answer 5

If you have to explain this, then they've never been there.

My dad was that way, I've been through 3 husbands that were that way.

I don't have any excuse for this, i was just stupid I guess.

If you can manage it, get out on your own. Live by yourself for a while, find out (again) who you really are, what you stand for and what you believe in.

If you decide to go for it agian, make sure you understand completely who you are hooking up with.

At the first sign of controlling behavior, dump them.

Good luck

Answer 6

Why don't you please yourself instead. Why do you feel the need to spend your time pleasing this person. I think the problem is you do not want this person you believe you need them, so will put up with anything.
I imagine you feel powerless, which drags you down and down.
Is their any love anywhere?
I am, sorry you feel very low, this relationship has put you their.
This person's happiness is not your responsibility, but your happiness is!
Look after yourself and ask yourself the question, why do you live with criticism?
As you say this person is trying to control you, so ultimately you have the power in this relationship, you just don't know it. I wish you well. Look after yourself. Terry.

Answer 7

Time to get out, I think. Obviously it's not a happy relationship.

Answer 8

definitly not worh it! but there is no reason u should live like that! you get one life only and u chose weather u want to live it as a shy stray dog or as a beatuful buterfly... get ur wings out there! dont be submisive... that was old times.. now its time to show those bastards who we are...talk to someone even if u need to..... but PLEASE as soon as someone is controling you, is time to pack your bags!

Answer 9

Life is always worth living.
I hope things improve soon.
Hugs...

Answer 10

dear......i really feel every single word u said, im like u, loved someone who never loved me at all, he just love to see me weak, love to hurt me........i tried sooo much to let him trust me, i was really honest, and when it looked that he really love me then...hop.....its a trap!!!! no love.........it was just a game to enjoy his life......asked why u hurt me like that? he alwaus knew that im a sad one,i told him that i need to leave but he said that he really want me.....then i discovered that i was one of his game,my heart is bloody, but i have a courage to leave and trying really to start again,i really feel that im fighting my self....but thats better than before........always yesterday,while i was walking ,i saw two lovers talking happily....felt really depressed, not cos i have no one,but cos when i loved ,he not just refused me, he also broke my heart,hurt me then show me: that he was playing.......my advice to u is to leave....if he really love u ,hell try his best to come back, if he dont ( like my ex),he wont........u may feel a deep depression inside u........but ull respect ur self as a humanbeing......................

Answer 11

You only get as much cr*p as you put up with.