I have a guy friend i use to date and we dont date any more but we are best friends .He has been in the Army for 28 years now and is only 46 and he was married 8 years ago .
My question is he has a hard time leting woman get close to him at all! the thing is he tells me i am the closest to him more than any one in the past 8 years besides his daughters .
He was seeing this woman but she wanted to get close with him like move in and he stop seeing her all together.
He feels really down and tells me he has been single to long and cant let any one in his heart! He told me will be single for life and he just feels like he cant let any one in his heart at all!
I dont understand this at all ! How dose he know this ?
He is a great loving guy and he dose not have any problem geting woman at all but he wont get close to any one .
Right now he is very down about life and feel broke in side !
I am so sad seeing him this way ! what can i do to help him !
2007-12-05 14:07:13 · 16 answers · asked by Hart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I dont know what to think about him he is hurting and yes he do love each other but as for us dateing wont happend again .He asked me how i felt and then he told me he wont date any one again but he tells me all the time he loves me !
I am seeing a great guy now but i do love and care for my best friend and he know i love him 2
2007-12-05 14:15:27 · update #1
maybe he really wants you and can't accept it.
2007-12-05 14:10:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
poor bloke. Just keep telling him that you are there for him and that you care. It sounds like this is the best thing you can do. Just keep reminding him of this; YOU CARE. Maybe he is just saying this in reaction to dejection and hurt he has experienced in life. Did he witness anything horrible at war? This could be a sympton of Post Traumatic stress disorder- this sounds very close to that. If you want to see a great example of a friend helping anothe friend deal with not letting someone in to their heart; watch, "Reign over me" featuring adam sandler. This movie is really touching
2007-12-05 22:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by crazyrunner10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
right now he is probally depressed about something or someone in the past hurt him and thats why he has these walls up.. and he doesn't know he will b single 4 life.. my advice 2 u to give to him is to try 2 keep himself occupied do things go somewhere or try to go see a doctor and explain how he feels. because u never really know how he feels inside. . from experience i no how that feels. i've been through that and still have my days.. its hard but i try to stay busy and take my prozac !!
2007-12-05 22:16:17 · answer #3 · answered by emerald moe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make the first move let him know how you feel. then give him some time and then and act normal so he doesn't think you are too clingy, if he doesn't tell you how he feels ask him...
if that doesn't work then try to find someone else and help him find someone too...
go to party, or clubs, even a bar... you needs an enviorment where you cant find someone. go and hang out with some single friends. you will find a someone in no time.
2007-12-05 22:17:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him as you have been. Being career military has an effect on ones approach to socialization upon returning to the civilian sector, and of course by this age he has a crystal clear awareness of his expectations and desires. This position isn't as bleak as it sounds, but it does have bleak moments...maybe this is one of those times. I'm sure he treasures your friendshhip, and I feel confident this story will have an eventual happy ending. But it takes what it takes; there's no reliable way to rush the process.
2007-12-05 22:15:53 · answer #5 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be consistent with him...just keep showing him you love him...either he will allow you to break through that wall or he never wanted you to break it anyway...have you ever thought he won't let you b/c he just simply looks at you as a best friend/sister and if he allowed you to move in any more that it would be like incest to him??? Some men just need a friend...not a wife.
2007-12-05 22:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by Brandi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oo well if he doesn't want anyone in his life. You need to get closer to him show him what there is show him love is good. If he feels down you can cheer him up don't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. Show him how to love again but take it slow and don't push it. oo and take him out to met girls and stuff
2007-12-05 22:13:10 · answer #7 · answered by Spaz Attack 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a situation where your friend has created his own problem. He is right. He is headed for a lonely old age.
Tell him to seek professional help.
2007-12-05 22:15:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be a good friend and be there for him if he needs you. Maybe some day soon he'll wake up and realize he loves you just as much as you love him. Just don't push it. Good luck, hun.
2007-12-05 22:11:10 · answer #9 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're doing it right now.. listening. That helps a great deal. He has you to talk to when he's feeling lonely.
2007-12-05 22:09:58 · answer #10 · answered by :Sheila: 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you beleive in god pray for him. if not just be his freind and try to understand him as well as you can maybe he is afraid of being hurt or hurting someone elses feelings. hope i could help.
2007-12-05 22:12:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋