So I have an 11 year old daughter, she's in fifth grade, she turned 11 2 days ago. I can't really get quite all the information out of her, but she tells me some things. She has been going on and on for about a month about this really perfect boy "Kyle." She said just yesterday that this boy Kyle kissed her for her birthday and that they had agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend. She said all this at dinner, acting a bit like your stereo type teenager. I was shocked and she said I acting like she is a baby. She invited Kyle over for dinner, 2 hours ago, and I have never met him. After dinner I came into her room and I found them kissing standing up. She is now completely mad at me and this boy Kyle I think has become very shy. I have absolutely no idea what to do and she is in fifth grade!
2007-12-05 12:57:33 · 11 answers · asked by Jen_n_TX 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your daughter is far too young to have a boyfriend. Kids get crushes on each other but it is up to parents to keep it at that. Don't get me wrong for I am not saying that you are not a good mother but I have to ask a couple of questions. Why didn't you tell her that she could not have him over and that she had to uninvite him? Or, since he came why would you let them be in her bedroom after she had told you what she did? I would not allow her to have boys over and if she does I would make sure they were well supervised.
2007-12-05 13:09:53 · answer #1 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am a 19 year old girl, so I think I may be able to help a little bit.
I think it may be time to have "the talk" with your daughter. My mom never had "the talk" with me, but she just dropped hints every once in a while. If you treat your daughter as if you're her friend, she will respect you more than if you treat her as if you're her mother, you know? Young girls especially do not want to have somebody telling them what to do, but rather would want somebody to just give them advice.
I think that, for the time being, the "no boys in your bedroom" rule seems like a good idea. It's pretty inappropriate that they're in her bedroom kissing, considering they're in 5th grade. But a kiss goodbye or something to that effect is a little different than makin' out in the bedroom.
I had my first "kiss" in 6th grade. Just a peck. I didnt actually "make out" with a guy 'till 7th grade, and I lost my virginity in 9th grade. I know it seems like she's VERY young, but times are changing. She's not going to become a super-skank unless you let her go crazy.
Just talk to her calmly, don't be stern or pushy. She'll have a lot more respect for you if you come to her as a concerned friend.
Hope this helped!
2007-12-05 13:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by good golly its molly 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I did not have my first girlfriend until I was a sophomore in high school, and even at that age, my parents had plenty of rules for me. One being that my girlfriend and I were not allowed in any room with the door shut; and at her house, we were not be out of eyesight. At such a young age I would advise against any sort of physical relationship for your daughter - she can have a "boyfriend," but the physical stuff is off limits. Also you might want to take a look at your daughter's media exposure. For example, what kind of T.V. shows, and movies does she watch? Additionally, what kind of friends does she have? You need to be aware of the things that influence her. In an argument between my 18 year old brother, and 49 year old father, about a month ago, my father said that it is his job to parent, not be my brother's friend...in other words, no matter how bad your daughter's reaction might be, you need to put your foot down, and stick to your guns. One day she'll understand, and thank you for the guidance. Good luck!
2007-12-05 13:23:08 · answer #3 · answered by CrAsHnBuRn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU set the rules. At 11 she is too young to have a boyfriend she is allowed to see outside of school. It's up to you if kissing is off limits but it would be if I had an 11 year old girl. It was definitely off limits when my boys were 11. She's also shouldn't have boys in her room. If it were me and i caught her, I'd have chewed them both out, he'd have been sent packing, and she's still be grounded. Sure, she'll throw a tanty and get mad but you're her mom and it's up to you to look out for her and her reputation whether she likes it or not.
Set the boundaries and enforce them before she gets herself into serious trouble. Best of luck!
2007-12-05 13:22:13 · answer #4 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The minute you FORBID anything, you sanction it!
Remember how contrary teenagers are.
Kyle probably isn't up to doing anything more than just that... and having embarassed him, he is likely to do less.
My sister, her daughter, and her granddaughter all chased boys early on... like age 6. Her daughter made play-date rendezvous at the local McDonald's. Sometime it is ingrained.
What you can do is have THE TALK about boys and their predatory nature, sex, STDs, smooching, birth control, and all that other stuff. The rules are that you MUST meet any potential boyfriends, and she is not allowed to be with any boy in any bedroom. Spell out about reputations and how a bad one can pre-empt you from attracting a nice boy.
2007-12-05 18:39:39 · answer #5 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no longer something. save coaching her approximately intercourse however. She's attending to that age the place she'll circulate by using puberty. yet your maximum suitable selection could be to tell her you do no longer approve of her courting all people till she's sixteen. this is high quality that they are acquaintances, yet attempt to decelerate on the kissing propose her to hold arms as a replace.
2016-10-19 08:22:49 · answer #6 · answered by dotel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm also in the fifth grade and i do have crushes. I've asked my mom when I could start dating, but she's still deciding. sometimes i really want to date, but i know that imtoo young!
2007-12-05 13:37:01 · answer #7 · answered by chloe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt have let her go out in the first place. i'm older than that and i still dont have a bf. and probably never will. tell her that you dont wan her to have a bf . (she might say okay and then go behind your back , just so you know. i have a lot of friends that do that.)if she doesnt listen it's because she' already had one and my mom says" once they get the idea of hving a bf in their head, you cant get it out". so maybe she could be stuck like that forever..
sorry!!
2007-12-05 13:05:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion, an 11 year old girl is at least 3-4 years too young to have a bf. your her mother, you have to take controll. a mother who loves their children, doesn't let them have/do whatever they want.
2007-12-05 13:26:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she to young to be kissing boy!! u need to put your foot down!!
2007-12-05 13:02:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋