How do you like this poem?

Question

Lonely December

Dark snowy pathways of sorrow
Feeling the depression shift to tommorow
Black blossoms of bitter ink splotched
Under this covered moon we watched

Cracked ice like severed relationships
How can I manage to get through the night?
Back split with bloody wounds from lashed whips
Dead like the mortals in Hades with gloomy fright

Come with me my dear, there is nothing to fear
As the ages pass on the love begins to wear
But I will be waiting, just as Ice Ages have froze
We will enjoy together the many years we chose

Changing the blind, dark fate that God has made
Fighting back certain death, we still start to fade
But throught the River Styx the loney hearts will wade

For tommorow is another day to complete the love

Answer 1

dramatized and adjective-laden.

Answer 2

Absolutly dreadful.

If you are very young, this is the bad poetry you need to write to learn good poetry.

If you are over 25, stop writting, start reading until you get the Zen of poetry.

You are 'chasing the rhyme' with weak imagery and ackward phrasing.

"Dark snowy pathways of sorrow" - isn't bad, but
"Feeling the depression shift to tommorow" - Just kills it.

The lyric shoud maintain the mood: Compare to this:

Dark snowy pathways of sorrow
We tread through this enless December
And the sun is a moon, striped by the gloom
Of it's power to help us remember.

And the weight of each step
Cracks the ice of our dreams
As it sings to the swift coming night.
From the bottom of Hell
Comes the toll of a bell
As the damned pray in vain for the light.

But if the night take us
And turn us to stone
By command of the Almighty cold.
Then we'll stand face to face
In a frozen embrace
With a love that will never grow old.

Answer 3

awwwwww I LOVED IT.........
that touched me, I can relate to this part

Dark snowy pathways of sorrow
Feeling the depression shift to tommorow
Black blossoms of bitter ink splotched
Under this covered moon we watched



You're good at writing ur feelings,plz write a love letter for me (lol)

Answer 4

Yes

Answer 5

um, it's pretty good. I think you have the right idea, but I also think you're thinking too hard. Just listen to your feelings and let that tell you what to say! Good luck!

Answer 6

Melancholy Bliss- Dark Happiness......I like it

Answer 7

Thats Gangsta Rap

Answer 8

HOLY THAT REALLY IS GOOD but in all seriousness my writhing style really is dark but its geat nice post.

Answer 9

A little bit of it

Answer 10

wow, i like it, it sounds like some war poem/sad, i thought it was really great

Answer 11

Honestly? Cliché as hell.