i am sick of guys, i really want to find a sweet guy that is just honest with me, but there are just to many players, (skilled players) and they just use me as eye candy for their friends and selves, i dont like it, how do i know if a guy is being true, and not just using me, and has other women on the side? and if i do know they are using me how do i confront it, without being to outrageous?
2007-12-05 10:34:14 · 39 answers · asked by charlie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when they dont try to kiss on the first date...or make-out on the 2nd 1
2007-12-05 10:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, way to be modest. "im sick of guys using me just because im hot," :-)
Seriously, though, as for being outrageous, I feel like if this guy is taking advantage of you and using you, then you can never be too outrageous. You need to get this scrub out of your life by any means necessary. Granted, throwing a tantrum and screaming in public probably isn't the best idea, but confronting him (bringing a friend for support too) face to face and telling him like it is is the best idea. Scumbags have a tendency to not get the point, and if they keep coming back, then you're more likely to fold under pressure.
As for finding the right guy, I'm sure you already know at least a few. These are the guys that you're already really good friends with and possibly don't consider, "boyfriend material." These guys are going to be the ones that get the angriest when they hear about the ones that are taking advantage of you. That's how you know they really care.
2007-12-05 10:40:33 · answer #2 · answered by boyob588@sbcglobal.net 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. Stop dressing like eye candy.
2. Stop going out with jocks.
3. Look at the smartest guys around. The real brains. Those are the guys who in 10 years are going to be vacationing in Maui every winter and going to the Bahamas in the Summer. They are the ones who will be retiring at 45 or 50, if not sooner.
4. Get to know a guy a little before you go on an actual date. If you believe the guy is using you as a trophy girlfriend, DON'T GO OUT WITH HIM ANYMORE! You are not married or engaged to them. Move on. You do not need to give him a big detailed explanation. How many times do you need to go out before you see this? 2,3,4? That is well within the "I really am not seeing any connection, thanks, have a good life" period.
Take control or your life, don't let some guy control it for you. Don't worry about hurting a jerk's feelings, he probably doesn't really care about yours. Hang in there. Sooner or later you will find a good guy. Maybe 1 out of 10.
2007-12-05 10:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would use the website eHarmony.com, or match.com. You have to watch the men closely, and watch their every move. Be kind of like a stalker, but not really, just watch them closely. You will be able to see signs, usually, in how they dress, how they act, and who they've called, in past hours, on their phones. Just watch, that's the best key. Now, when you realize that they are just using you, because you're hot, just be straight out with them and tell them that you know what they've been doing, that will work. You'll end up knowing when a guy is cheating, and when he's for real! Good luck! Let me know how it goes!
2007-12-05 10:42:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will know you have found the right guy, when he does all the little things for you, such as, open doors, pays all his attention towards you on a date, hangs your coat or offers his coat and asks you to come meet his parents. When that is what is happening, then you know you have found the right guy, he obviously cares not only about you, but how you are feeling in every situation. Also, I'm guessing you are fairly young yet. Guys mature as they get into their late twenty's and tend to have a goal orientated life. You will find the occasional ones that do sooner, but typicaly that is the norm in my opinion.
Good luck, hope you find that special someone. I'm sure he is out there.
2007-12-05 10:42:45 · answer #5 · answered by shawn n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. First of all you must like yourself first and be fine to be alone. Next get to know a person before getting initimate with them. If they are for real and really interested in you, then they will wait until you feel comfortable. Next if he introduces you to his family and close friends, he is a keeper. Also if he treats his mom with love and repsect, he will treat you good too. Many men are just as shy about getting serious as a woman. If he talks openly and freely and confides his fears to you then he is a keeper. Most of all, be yourself and you don't want to be intimate don't because if you give in early in the relationship, he will think you are easy and leave you alone except for sex. Set the standards and do not give up your principles.
2007-12-05 10:42:22 · answer #6 · answered by bahiyah m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy who isn't pressuring you to do stuff with him right away.
Don't go straight into a relationship with someone. Hang out with a couple of different people, and if a guy keeps pressuring to do more or be more, than it's probably because he only wants one thing.
If a guy really cares about you, he'll respect you.
2007-12-05 10:38:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a sneaking suspicion he is cheating more then likely he is, if he cheated prior to you getting together then hell cheat again later. No matter what reassurances he has given you, only maturity ends cheating ways. Communication is your best tool. Confrontation depending on the person being confronted can be a good or bad thing, really depend sont he individual. So you need to approach the person in an uncompromising way.i.e. like asking questions but in a way that the recipient actually answers and asks the question themselves. reverse psychology
2007-12-05 10:43:20 · answer #8 · answered by Payment 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always talk to the guy. Alot of people are scared to talk but its a great way to find out what the guy is really out for. If they dont want a relationship they will freak out and run. If they really like you then they will sit and have this conversation with you. Good Luck!
2007-12-05 10:37:13 · answer #9 · answered by angelawct 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quit volunteering to be used like that for starters.No sex until your married otherwise they WILL use you.Next no more soap operas or romance novels, those things give you a warped sense of reality.Get to KNOW the guy BEFORE you EVER go out with him.Watch him for 6 weeks to a yr and you will see what he really is.Listen to what others say about him.Some may be lies but theres usually some truth in it.
Also get in church.You will usually find better classes of people there because at the bars, strip joints, parties and clubs the ONLY thing you will ever find is druggies, alcoholics, sex perverts and users and players.
2007-12-05 10:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Date someone thats not super hot or a jock. Not necessarily a nerd, but someone you can tell isn't just hitting on you for your looks. Or don't dress to show off your body so much, if you are. Theres someone out there for you!
2007-12-05 10:38:43 · answer #11 · answered by Bobberts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋