So for the past two years, it seems as if every time I try to hold a conversation with my mom she tries to point out the wrong in whatever i have to say. It could be over the smallest things. For instance, I come to her with a simple question and before she hears what I have to say she raises her voice and replies "what kind of mess are you getting into now?" This goes on everyday, and it's really driving me crazy! What can I do?
2007-12-05 08:01:38 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
sounds like you may have given mom lots of reasons to worry in the past, and now you are reaping the results of doing so. I would suggest that you do your best not to let the situation escalate. Remain calm, remain non-reactive to what she says, simply continue with your intended statements, eventually she will calm down and be able to talk with you.
2007-12-05 08:07:48 · answer #1 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be some reason she reacts that way. Possibly due to your past behaviors? If so, and you've changed, try sitting down with her and letting her know you've grown up a lot in the last two years and your not the same person.
Give her some time. It takes a while to get rid of automatic responses based on years of conditioning.
2007-12-05 16:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by tamarack58 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel. Write her a letter if she won't let you get in a word. Tell her how her negative attitude is affecting her. Be clear about what you need and how she can help you. Her criticism is making you feel bad about yourself. Tell her you want her to be your friend.
I have done this to my mom many times. Being specific about your needs is a lesson best learned young. If you can't learn to articulate what you want, then how are people going to give it to you? If you want to have better communication with your mom, just be specific and CALM. Don't get angry. I'll bet she doesn't even know she is hurting your feelings. I bet she has so many other things happening in her life that she isn't aware she's being mean.
My own mom was being super-bitchy and I called her on her behavior. Turns out my Grandpa had cancer and she didn't want to worry me until they knew more. So, my mom was dealing with all sorts of stress that I had no idea about. Once I knew, it was easier for me to understand why she was being so distant and snappy.
Just talk to her and be honest. Don't accuse her. Don't blame her. Don't say, "Mom, you make me feel like crap." Say, "Mom, I have been feeling like crap lately and some of the things you have been saying have hurt my feelings and I wanted to make you aware of that."
Good luck!
2007-12-05 16:16:26 · answer #3 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your Mom that you are trying to talk to her and you didn't mean to upset her,Tell her you are trying to communicate with her and need advice .Ask her why she sees the negative side of the things you do and how to look on the more positive side.Tell her you want her input on things but it is difficult for you Talk calmly to your Mom and ask her to sit down and you two try to air your differences.Make her a cup of hot chocolate and you too.Mabe you two can talk and try to understand each other.
2007-12-05 16:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by mamaw2305 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please call with any problem, Anytime:
Girls and Boys Town National Hotline
Phone : 1-800-448-3000
Email: Hotline@girlsandboystown.org
2007-12-05 16:07:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋