I want to be able to travel the world & take cruises & after my upbringing I KNOW I wouldn't be a good mom. Realizing that makes me a better person (I think) than people who pop them out to get more $$. Some old man said to me the other day that women's ONLY purpose was to be a wife & have kids/take care of them. What a SEXIST?
2007-12-05 07:54:31 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
More and more women today are choosing NOT to have kids. In fact, statistic show that about 25% of women who are of childbearing age today will never have kids (due to choice or circumstances). I am one of them:) You are not a bad person, and there is nothing wrong with you. Some people want kids, and some people don't.
People are going to tell you that you are "selfish" for wanting those things, but just tell them what I tell them. Look up the world selfish in the dictionary. The end is "without regard for others." You not having kids doesn't hurt anyone. If you wanted to do all those things and you HAD kids, that would be selfish. Not to mention, ask any person why they WANT kids, and you'll see that those are all selfish answers (want to pass on genes/name, think I could do a good job raising them, a companion...).
Trust me, you are fine.
2007-12-05 08:33:25 · answer #1 · answered by Dolyn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it does not make you a "bad" person. You are making a decision for your own life, and you have every right to do so. Sadly, other women who had a hard upbringing, didn't recognize the fact that they would make a "bad" mum, and their children to not live a happy, positive life.
Yes that man was a "sexist" but you are going to get a lot of comments like that and you should get used to it, and let it run off your back.
Life is about making choices, for ourselves, and if you make the choice not to have children, then you have that right.
The only thing I would suggest to you is, if you meet a man after your travels, and you think about getting married. make sure that he is 100% with you on this choice. Otherwise, then you will have problems.
Good luck.
Peace and love,
Mother of six and grandmother of 7.
2007-12-05 08:30:42 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it does not make you a bad person.. People experience life diffrently. What one person enjoys another may not. I was like you for a long time, I always said I didnt want kids, not because I didnt have a good upbrining. I just felt it was not my thing. My husband is military so we have travel the world, then early this year, I for some reason really wanted a baby. Now I am 33 wks pregnant. Weird how sometimes you can think you want one thing, then change your mind later. Dont make anyone make you feel like your a bad person, that guy is an a**hole. People should only have kids when they are ready, not because they want them or because society says we should have them.
2007-12-05 08:00:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No or else I'm a bad person too. Life is about what you want and what makes you happy. What is great is that you're mature enough to admit this. I've struggle with myself as well thinking that maybe I'm just too self absorbed. I'm married and have no kids. So I'm constantly asked and pressured about kids. It's crazy that a stranger would care so much whether I have children. I just tell people how it is. That I've chosen the career path at this point in my life and that I currently have no desire to bring children into this sick world. One day I might have a change of heart, but today this is how I feel. I've come to the point that I don't care what people think or expect out of me. I have even come to the conclusion that some of these folks would love to see me tied down, struggling with kids. I think they want me to share in their misery. Not that I see children as a misery. It's just sometimes how they make it seem. I love all my neices and nephews. I love keeping them for the night, spoiling the heck out of them and sending them home. There isn't nothing I would do for them. It's just I personally don't want kids, now anyways. So try to ignore people and be happy. See the world and enjoy yourself. Good Luck & God Bless!
2007-12-05 08:18:56 · answer #4 · answered by zerotimeforfun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No but as u get older u get more mature so don't think about it yet. Hving ur own kids is different that being with other kids. U learn o love them an make them ur life. U may say u want no kids but as u get older and mature u might have a change on heart. Ur own kids is different it isn't the same as ur baby cousin or brother it's actually totally different so don't make decision like that yet. Ur a teenager and most teenager can't tolerate kids at that moment in tier lives so dint worry it's normal to not want kids or to think that at ur age.
2016-04-07 11:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not, I'm in the same boat that you are, there are things that I want to do in my life both personal and carreer wise that I wont be able to do with kids. Having kids is a big sacrifice and I know I'm not willing to make the sacrifice and the fact that you realize that you wouldnt be a good mom is a good thing. You dont want to be like some parents who didnt have kids but accidently did and now the kid is a misfit in society and increasing the crime and drug rate. Have fun traveling the world.
2007-12-05 08:01:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great that you have the sense to do whats best for you and knowing and addressing your concerns about having children makes you a much better person than most of us... As for the old man, Hes old and will never change. And "who cares". The best part is, you can still change your mind... Enjoy the world, it's a remarkable place.
2007-12-05 08:07:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, that does not make you a bad person. I have three kids and I know how hard it is to raise kids. I don't regret them but, I know how hard it is. Plus, you have to be really sure of who you have kids with. Me and my ex husband were together for 9 years when he decided to cheat on me. Now I am a single parent raising three kids. I think you are very wise for thinking this issue through first. Good luck in life and enjoy yourself.
2007-12-05 08:00:38 · answer #8 · answered by mamasita 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think knowing yourself, what you want and what is important to you is not only good but smart. We all know lots of people that should have never had children.
That old man was a sexist and if he wants a baby, he can pop one out himself! LOL!
Just remember that as you grow and mature, you may change your mind and your priorities may change. That's okay too.
2007-12-05 07:58:47 · answer #9 · answered by wondermom 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not!!! The world is over-populated as it is so no one should have kids or feel guilty for not having them that does not really want to. That man probably has very narrow view points, I wouldn't pay him any attention whatsoever!
2007-12-05 07:58:52 · answer #10 · answered by christina_m_taft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋