My husband was married before with a 9 yr old son who we have 50% of the time and alternating holidays. This is our yr to have his son for x-mas. Because of this my husband wants to spend x-mas with his family. His family is local and both my hus and his son see them weekly.My family is out of state and we only see then 2-3 times a yr. My husband told me the yrs he has his son for x-mas he does not want to spend with my family but his. On the yrs he does not have his son we can spend with my family. I guess i just feel hurt he would not want his son with him to spend x-mas with my family(who loves his son) who lives far away and don't get to see us much. Please tell me an I over reacting? Is the "deal" he want to do fair?
2007-12-05 07:53:03 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I think it is perfectly reasonable actually. The boy's grandparents only have the option of spending every other Christmas with their grandson, please let them have that. It would be more appropriate to plan a trip with your step-son to visit your family during another time of the year, possibly summer vacation, or maybe Thanksgiving you can go to your family's house with your step-son, and Christmas with his family.
2007-12-05 08:37:26 · answer #1 · answered by missbeans 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I actually see both sides completely. Even though he gets to see his family often, Christmas is still a special time of year to be with them. At the same time, because you don't get to see your family often, Christmas seems like the best time to visit them. It sounds like your husband is thinking logically in how best to settle the situation (especially since he already has to do so with custody), but who to spend Christmas with isn't simply a logistical problem. There are emotions involved. Does he know that your feelings are hurt? Could you compromise more by being with both families? You could spend Christmas with his family and then go visit yours the day after and stay til Christmas break is over. OR, maybe you could visit your family during another special holiday. I dunno. It's a tough call. I hope things work out for you!
2007-12-06 12:14:51 · answer #2 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband he is not being fair in the situation. It's hard working out the holidays when you are married. Thankfully my parents and my husband's parents only live about 2 hours away from each other and we are able to see both.
You really need to sit down and talk to him about it. No, you are not over-reacting. Tell him your family would love to see his son. Best of luck.
2007-12-05 07:59:39 · answer #3 · answered by N and A's Momma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have his son and his family for Christmas
Have your family the Saturday after
No offense, the boy does not know your family, and it's not easy to hang out with people you do not know.
I been in that situation when I was a child
Saturday, if your step son is there he is welcome. You husband will have Christmas by themselves
You will have Christmas with your family on Saturday
You family may love him, but this was is easy for the boy
You get time with your family and your step son, if he still there
A lot of people have more than one Christmas's
I do. I have one two, one with my family on Christmas's, one the Saturday after with my husband side of the family. When he was living, we took turn, since he not, I go to my family
Just give him Christmas day with your family, and the Saturday after with yours. It's a good compromise
2007-12-05 10:31:56 · answer #4 · answered by Halo Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just explain to him that you don't get to see your family that often. Tell him that it would mean so much to you and to your family if he and his son would spend the holiday with you and your family this year. I would say that you have to go to your families house and you would really like him to come with you. Tell him that your family will be hurt if he doesn't come too. You aren't over reacting, I could see if the child never saw his grandparents but, since he does he could visit with them either before or after christmas. Stick to your decision and go to your families house and hope that they will come too. Good luck!
2007-12-05 10:20:57 · answer #5 · answered by mama3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Husband is right. All of you go to your parents the next day or over the New Year weekend on the years he has his son. Not fair to the son, to rob him of his paternal grandparents on Christmas. Remember, he doesn't see his maternal grandparents on Christmas the years your husband has him.
2007-12-06 00:16:11 · answer #6 · answered by Gramma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont think your over reacting. i would be hurt too. you should tell him how you feel. if he wants every christmas over there then you should have a certain holiday (lets say thanksgiving) with your family. your suppose to switch holidays every year. it's not fair that he only gets what he wants, your married, therefore you have to compromise and obviously he needs to work on that.
2007-12-05 07:59:20 · answer #7 · answered by Destiny G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋