been dating for over a year. we have talked about marriage and plan to once the money is right. the guy that is coming to town is such a distant relative if it was my family i wouldn't even count it. he said wile the guy is here he can't stay over at my house which i sort of respect because he wants to fake like he is a good muslim. he said he can come see me some or go do stuff. i asked him where he would tell the guy he was going. he said the guy wouldn't ask. so i kept after him til he admitted if it came down to it he would not admit to having a white girlfriend. he has told his immediate family about us and our future plans just not that we are having premarital sex and sleep overs. was i wrong to be so hurt about the double standard? my family isn't thrilled about me being with a muslim but since the start i have stood up for our relationship to them.
2007-12-05 07:46:32 · 13 answers · asked by cajunbaby 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
man
complicated!
if it were me - i'd get clear about what i like about this guy. if you can make 'adjustments' to his lying about you...if the thing between u is strong enough to bridge the difficulties(i have had relationships when both of us have lied about Us!) then go for it.
BUT...is this a thing between you - a shared place...or something 'not spoken'? if it's the latter then maybe u should ask yourself about commitment - yours AND his...and the level of intimacy you have. forget the external pressures - they are always there, for all of us - how are YOU two? how close are you? do you talk? if so, cool!
if not, how come? what is the future for you guys? do you both see the same thing?
=)
2007-12-05 07:56:04 · answer #1 · answered by mlsgeorge 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you 'wrong' to be hurt? The word doesn't apply here. You FEEL hurt regardless. The problem is that you made your own bed. If you decide to be involved with someone who bases many of his decisions on the vagaries and superstition of religion, you're in for a lot of trouble down the road. Here you have a great example. This guy is such a distant relative that he barely counts as a family member and your boyfriend doesn't have enough confidence in his own actions to even admit a relationship exists. What does that say about about his character? What does it portend for the future?
2007-12-05 08:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First--you should take a long hard look at your relationship and realize that even if your "boyfriend" is okay with violating his religion--his family will probably not be. And as he grows older he may well regress back into more religious values.
I think any girl that dates a muslim and is not a muslim better look at the enviroment from a less personal view. See what Muslim women do, how are they treated in Muslim societies. What happens should you move to Pakistan--(YIKES) or any other muslim country. What happens should you get married and pregnant and he takes the kids back to his country.
Women are second class citizens in the Muslim world. And that is the way you can expect to be treated by his Family and his society should you wind up in a Muslim Country.
2007-12-05 07:56:26 · answer #3 · answered by kejjer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be, but he might not either. There's a lot of variation within Islam, btw. Nothing to be scared of. My kid's friend's mom is from a somewhat liberal Muslim family in Turkey, married to a non-denominational christian, and the only thing which would distinguish her from other moms I know is she and her kids don't eat pork. No head coverings, no anything you see on Fox news. Just a nice person. Muslims can run the gamut of human beliefs and behavior, just like anyone else. Don't confuse some with all.
2016-05-28 08:03:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what i think you should listen to your family. I dont hate muslim but i wont go out with one eather because were not the same religion. There just to different and to difficult to handle. ones you get married to a muslim everything is different and can you imagine if you were to have a child with this man he will take your child back to where he came from and you will never ever see baby again or he will just beat you and treat you like a slave. Please listen to your family this is not a joke.
2007-12-05 12:12:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should listen to your family. But I am sure everything will be perfectly OK once you are married and get a job so you can support him as a valuable piece of property. It is obvious he thinks of you as less than a real person. Has he really told his family about you or did he just tell you he told them? You should really rethink this relationship.
2007-12-05 07:57:21 · answer #6 · answered by Wiz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is America, you shouldn't have to hide anything, if they don't like it, tell em to kiss your a sses. So what if your with a muslim, so what if he's with a white girl..as long as you two are happy, screw the rest of the world. If he wants to hide that he's dating you from someone...if it was me I'd tell that person where they could go, but I'm not bound by crazy religious beliefs that tell me how I can ..err can't run my own life.
2007-12-05 07:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ya thats pretty low... someone needs to get slapped in the face
2007-12-05 07:49:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Isam is a very strick religion and I can see why he would be a bit hesitant. Just talk to him and make sure he sees your side.
2007-12-05 07:50:54 · answer #9 · answered by bmboyd88 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you want to date these strange religions then deal with the consequences
2007-12-05 07:49:44 · answer #10 · answered by irideavmax 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋