My boyfriend an i live about an hour away but see each other all the time. We are going amazing and have been together for a long time. We both mave had past relationships but we both can feel something different. We know we would last.....but LATELY he has made plans then cancled, doesnt call that much and not to mention he is a hugh flirt. But when i ask him if he wants a break or whats going on he get hurt and upset and says he LOVES me more than anything and "why am i doubting him." But im confused! What does he want??
2007-12-05 07:26:04 · 31 answers · asked by Ashleigh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like he's losing interest, but wants to keep you hanging in there on the side.
2007-12-05 07:28:36 · answer #1 · answered by Silver 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
At what point will you be able to be closer than an hour? Is there a plan in sight? How long is "long" that you've been together, and how old are you both?
I've been in a similar situation a while ago. I was okay in the beginning, but after a while I wanted more of his time and was getting lonely waiting to see him. He started to seem more detached as well, and all kinds of things ran through my head -- was he seeing other girls, was he losing interest, was he tiring of the long distance?
Finally I broke things off, but what I wish I did was talk it out more with him. Don't do it over the phone, just wait until you're together and you can have a calm discussion about how you feel and how he feels and where you both stand, and where the relationship is going. The main thing is you don't want to make a jump you'll regret based on assumptions, though your gut is telling you something's up and it's time for a talk.
2007-12-05 15:37:53 · answer #2 · answered by Fauna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he might have smthg going on in his family or in his job and doesn't want to involve you with that, If he really means it when he says he loves you (look in his eyes!)
However if he's looking away or down, he might be lying and seeing smbdy else or simply is not feeling the same way he used to.
Seeing each other every day is a big no-no, because you won't miss the other enough. I've know a couple who used to date for 4 years, and they used to see each other every day. but they broke up in the end because the passion was gone...
2007-12-05 15:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by Curious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay...so i think HE's the one thats confused. He seems like he doesnt know what he wants, and maybe he does love, you, but he's confused. maybe hes ready to move to the next level, and doesnt know how. or maybe he isnt sure why or something. but then theres always the alternative answer....your relationship is drifting away....maybe its just not the same as it used to be. you can only hope for the best. but the only TRUE way to find the answer your looking for, is to see what he has to say.
You two are the only people who know the real answer, and you will probably have to find that on your own.
Good Luck though.
2007-12-05 15:32:56 · answer #4 · answered by finky dink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why he's not calling etc. If he did love you he would give you a reasonable explanation. Tell him you're not only there for when he wants you, if he loves you then he would be willing to explain. However I'd have my doubts about him. He could be just scared, maybe your coming on too strong or too fast. Good luck anyway.
2007-12-05 15:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could just be that he wants to spend time with you and everything but at this point in his life hes just a lil too busy to manage it all. sometimes people look a lil too into things when its that simple but also they might have the right idea of whats going on. just talk to him and ask him whats up. if he honestly loves you as much as he says he does then he will be straight forward with you. not to mention that if you talk to him face to face you might be able to see if hes lieing if you know him really well.
2007-12-05 15:32:47 · answer #6 · answered by triquetraslave07 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, that is his way of slowly releasing you. He wants his cake and eat it too type of thing. You need to decide what you want. Do you want to continue the "wondering" game? An hour is still an "hour" away. You have to ask yourself if this is what you want to endure any longer? His response to you may seem legite, but believe me actions speak louder than words. Just remember that. Your not alone!
2007-12-05 15:31:04 · answer #7 · answered by jana07 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a trend that will get worse>seeing how far he can push you>Saying he loves you makes you feel better in his eyes> Love is shown talks cheap>So believe what you see not hear>He wants to keep you where you are no where>
2007-12-05 15:32:39 · answer #8 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but it sounds like to me that there's another woman involved. I could be wrong and he's just busy with other things, but I'm pretty good at reading people, and when people start acting differently, out of character, they tend to be hiding something. Hope it all works out in the good for you. Good luck.
2007-12-05 15:30:43 · answer #9 · answered by emerald_ravenstar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When he asks why you doubt him, you need to tell him - because you cancel plans we've made and you don't call as much.
My best advice, start making your own plans with your own friends and don't be as available. Some people love the chase.
2007-12-05 15:31:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
very interesting....how long have you been together? and how much time exactly do u spend with him usually?....i've been in a similar situation so i know exactly how u feel...but i just need to know a little more before i could really give some good advice
2007-12-05 15:30:58 · answer #11 · answered by candylicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋