I am due on Dec. 25 and it is looking like I will deliver before then. So, here's the issue. Usually for Christmas, we visit my parents who are divorced at their home. My father and step-mother both smoke, inside, but they go outside when people are there. This Christmas is a little different. My step-mother is in the final stages of a battle with cancer and this will be her last Christmas. Since she is so sick, she doesn't go outside to smoke anymore, and it is her house. So, what to do? Take my son, and 2 year old daughter to their house, and expose them to second hand smoke or not go at all. I know they won't smoke while we are there, but before we get there, I am sure they will. And the house will be smoky. My step-mother can't leave the house, so having them here isn't an option.
I am just looking for what other mothers would do in this situation. I know medically, they shouldn't go. BUT she isn't very close to passing away and I want my step-mother to have a nice Christmas!
2007-12-05 07:21:38 · 9 answers · asked by Amber S 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I meant that she IS very close to passing away. The hospice agency says it will only be 6-10 weeks.
2007-12-05 07:26:10 · update #1
My daughter is 100% healthy. She actually has never had even the smallest cold. My major concern will be my brand new son. Oh, and I will be breastfeeding, so leaving him some place isn't an option.
2007-12-05 07:38:42 · update #2
Go visit her with your children and bring a can of the air freshener/bacterial killer stuff (I can't think of the name - pregnancy brain - it's like febreeze but for the air). Since you said they won't smoke around the kids they should be okay. One time of bad air won't hurt them, it's the chronic exposure that is harmful. Good luck and Happy Holidays!
2007-12-05 07:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by Precious 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is tough. There are more questions to be asked, like do your children have chronic conditions that can be triggered by secondhand smoke, such as asthma? I would say that if your children are ill at the time, especially with a viral ilness such as RSV, or if they have a condition like reactive airway disease or asthma, you need to limit how much time they spend in that house. On the other hand, this may be the last Christmas with grandma, so I can see the whole family needing to be together. I would suggest meeting at some neutral territory, like a restaurant, but it sound like your step-mother may be too sick for that. If your children are healthy, and you decide to take them, take them out of the room when someone is smoking, try to limit their exposure as much as possible. There is no perfect solution to this problem, someone will need to compromise.
2007-12-05 07:32:45 · answer #2 · answered by autmommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go and I would make this last Christmas the best possible for her. You and your kids may be exposed to some 2nd hand smoke, but if you think that they could take it for a short while to have a Christmas that might live in their heads for the rest of their live, then do it. I would willingly walk into a burning house in order to spend another moment on earth with my grandmother.
2007-12-05 07:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by hoopstar231 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I came from a smoke-free household, but my grandparents and aunts and uncles have smoked inside during every major holiday I can remember. There are even Christmas photos from when my cousins and I were very young in which it seems every adult is holding a cigarette and the Christmas tree looks like it's in the middle of a fog. None of my cousins or I have had any adverse side affects from this (we are mostly in our twenties). I don't think one day of exposure to cigarette smoke will really hurt your children. I certainly wouldn't want this to be a common thing. Take your children with you. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas.
2007-12-05 07:30:01 · answer #4 · answered by orangeflameninja 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i imagine that a modern-day which will be a memory of their first Christmas is a strong decision. Newborns will improve out of suitable toys very straight away so except you're planning on a huge relations i might want to recommend you enable somebody else purchase toys as promises. back outfits will straight away change into too small and a 'cute' outfit will quickly be relegated to the storage container or lent to pals. i might want to recommend that you practice a sturdy high quality 'My First Christmas' scrapbook. you provides you the e book as a modern-day and then upload the images and playing cards, etc later. our little ones are age 9 and 11 now and they love gazing images even as they were little ones, their previous bedroom, the domicile, grandad, pets ... all that stuff they gained't undergo in concepts.
2016-10-25 12:21:06 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Precious...they won't get hurt one a one-time visit. Maybe your dad can "air out" the house before you arrive to make it a little better for you and your kids. You never know how long you really have left. We just lost my brother-in-law, he had 'weeks' left and was gone in one week. Good luck and have a wonderful last Christmas with your 2nd mom.
2007-12-05 07:31:34 · answer #6 · answered by GP 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're not going to be there for months. yes it will probably do a little damage but hopefully nothing long-term. especially considering that this is obviously something you are conscious and wary about. go to christmas and try to relax. gl! and i'm sorry about your step-mother.
2007-12-05 08:04:32 · answer #7 · answered by jenisilly80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe just stay there an hour at most. But you can pump your breasts beforehand and store it in the fridge, and you can have someone, maybe your husband, stay home with the baby and you can then go see your family.
2007-12-05 08:01:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go and i wouldn't feel bas i think the kids would be ok,
but not if they don't spen christmas with their family ya know?
2007-12-05 07:25:59 · answer #9 · answered by Lee's Wife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋