I was in a 2 1/2 year long distance relationship with a guy which ended a year ago. I used to travel to see him every other weekend and really hit it off with his best mates girlfriend during that time. I was completely and utterly besotted with my ex, but the relationship ended because we just couldn't see eye to eye and rowed constantly. Pragmatically, breaking up was the right thing to do, but I only feel that I coped with it so well because we made a clean break and have never attempted to contact each other since.
For the past 9 months I've been in a very stable and loving relationship with a new guy who has now moved in with me. Everyone says he's a much better match than my ex was and we get on fantastically although if I'm honest, I don't think I'll ever let myself fall for someone the way I did with my ex...
However, my ex's best mate and his girlfriend (whom I've kept in touch with via email since the split) are now getting married and have invited me to the wedding.
2007-12-05 07:21:36 · 23 answers · asked by arrabella 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I know for a fact my ex will be there and don't know whether I should go because 1) I love my friend to bits and don't want to snub her, but 2) I honestly don't know how I'd cope if I saw my ex again (although definitely wouldn't want to get back with him) I'm scared it would bring back unresolved feelings 3) If I do go, I don't know whether to invite my current partner or not. He'd expect me to because we share everything plus the fact I know he'd be very uneasy with me going away for the weekend to attend an event which my ex would be at without him, yet 4) If I did take my new partner with me, i don't want to rub my ex's face in it that I've found someone new when I know for a fact through talking to my friend that he hasn't....
....HELP! What should I do???!
2007-12-05 07:29:17 · update #1
go. don't let yourself worry about the ex... i too know what its like... i was in a long distance relationship on and off for like 3 yrs and now i have an amazing relationship but i know that i wont fall for anyone like i did my ex... whom ive recently started talking to again because he has been going through some rough times and for some reason we always go back to each other but we both know a relationship isnt possible or even logical... anyways my point is... you need to do what you want, if he is there do your best to keep it casual. (watch the alcohol intake lol)
2007-12-05 07:30:43 · answer #1 · answered by jessicamichelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should go! This is not about your ex this is about your friend. Bring your current boyfriend with and just act very mature about the whole thing say hi and do small chat for a few minutes and then move on. It's not like you have to spend the whole wedding with your ex. If you go you will show everyone you have moved on and you are a strong person. I have been in a similar situation and I felt much better by not avoiding it. Have fun, dance, and smile a lot!!!!
2007-12-05 07:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by sanzoe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't go, send a gift. Someone else's wedding is not the place to see an ex for the first time since the breakup. It's inappropriate and can end up being rude depending on how the meeting goes. Explain to the bride why you aren't going, I'm sure she'll be relieved.
2007-12-05 13:24:13 · answer #3 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should go to the wedding, only if you are sure you can make it through the night without drama, tears, or distractions from the event. If you think you'll see your ex and burst into tears, or your ex will see your current flame and throw a fit, then you should gracefully decline to attend the wedding. Your friend should understand your position, especially since you're looking out for her in not taking away from her big day.
If you're comfortable with taking the risk, then go, but develop an exit strategy with your boyfriend. For example, if the ex acts inappropriately, then you agree to immediately leave.
2007-12-05 08:11:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go. You should think about your girl friend not your ex... during the wedding. Chances are very high that you might bump into him at the wedding and the situation could be awkward... OR you may not even feel a thing. Maybe when you see him eye-to-eye, you might realize that maybe now he feels night to you, or other way around. I guess you just have to experience it to figure it out. My recommendation is go to the wedding and have a good time. I am pretty sure your girl friend will appreciate your presence and blessing. Good Luck!!!
2007-12-05 07:28:07 · answer #5 · answered by November Rain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i % greater of a backyard form wedding ceremony... like at a very advantageous southern plantation, have the marriage cerimony interior the interior mid-day, with the reception exterior interior the night while it cools down. i % chinese language (or is it eastern?) lantern-esque lights with yellow roses and accents of orange with the main colour being white. in basic terms some human beings from the two fringe of the relatives (like 15-25 each and each). and the food would be set up like an elegant buffet. thats all i've got been given so a techniques, yet i think of it is going to likely be the suitable wedding ceremony for me (if my destiny husband likes it too).
2016-09-30 22:40:35 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two broke up a long time ago and you have moved on to someone that most people believe to be a great person. You should assume your ex has moved on as well. Don't consider your new guy going with you as you "rubbing it in". Just act normal and have fun. This wedding is not about you or your boyfriend... or your ex. It is about your friends getting married. Go and have a great time!
2007-12-05 07:54:55 · answer #7 · answered by Kim 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Me? I would send a very nice gift and say that I would love to come,but have a conflicting event that I promised to attend first. (Washing your cat or alphabetizing your buttons counts here.)
That way, you acknowledge the wedding, send regards and a gift and don't have to see anyone who would make you feel creepy or awkward.
If you are dying to see your old friends, visit them some other time. When your presence will be the focus of the visit, not your past.
If you don't hang out with them on a regular basis already, avoid the drama and stay home.
I am not so nuts to attend every wedding that I will go to places where I would run into old boyfriends. Let the day be about them and not you.
2007-12-05 07:35:43 · answer #8 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
NO I don't think you should go.
You are worried, unsure, confused, and those are not emotions that should surround accepting a wedding invitation.
I know your friend will understand that you want to keep up with her and see her another time after the wedding. Send a nice card and gift if you like.
All that stuff about water under the bridge looks good on paper but doesn't hold up to human emotions.
2007-12-05 08:07:36 · answer #9 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you would like to go to the wedding, you still certainly should. This couple obviously wants you to be there or they would not have invited you.
Though you may want to consider who you take as your date to this wedding. Taking your new boyfriend may look like yu are trying to rub your new relationship in the ex boyfriend's face. Perhaps if you choose to go and don't want to do so alone, you could take a girl friend with you, or perhaps you could just request with your rsvp that you be seated with some other mutual friends who would be good company.
Perhaps some spywork is in order though too, if the ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend who he is planning to bring, then I wouldn't worry too much about taking yoru boyfriend... You just don't want to come across as being really "in your face" about your new relationship.
2007-12-05 07:28:01 · answer #10 · answered by vanessa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋