... just because he seems to be able to cope with schoolwork in the week yet his brother (eight) still has to go to bed at the same time as the little one (three).
What is that doing for Family harmony?
2007-12-05 06:43:30 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It concerns the treatment of my grandsons,njay not my own boys - I would *never* have differentiated between my boys like that - they all went to bed at the same time (for my *own* sanity too!).
2007-12-05 07:23:14 · update #1
So you have started yet AGAIN complaining about how your daughter in law raises HER KIDS!!!!! Shut up already woman....These are her kids..her rules..enough already!!!
2007-12-05 08:10:25 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
For me it's not extending the bedtime that's wrong!
I am more concerned for the 8 year old! It's hardly fair (and yes we all know life isn't - but) he is going to bed at the same time as a 3 year old when his elder brother is only a year above him. It must make him feel like he's being treated like a baby still!
I always extended bedtime on Friday and Saturday nights and so did my parents (it had to be earned though so if we misbehaved the privilege was removed)
However bedtime itself was always based on ages. For me being the youngest by two years I was in bed an hour before my elder sister and an hour and a half before the eldest. I only had two children with 2 years between so the eldest always went an hour later. (Even when the youngest was a baby and needed a 10 o'clock feed I put her to bed before my son)
I should imagine that any problems between the two older children would be fuelled by what the younger sees as favouritism but it's how to point it out without your DiL saying your interfering!
2007-12-05 07:17:23 · answer #2 · answered by willowGSD 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I let my son (aged 10) stay up an extra hour at the weekends, but only if he has been good. Saying that though, it does seem unfair on your middle grandson that he still has to go to bed the same time as a 3 year old. Maybe their bedtimes could be staggered somewhat. x
2007-12-05 09:26:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is older, I think it is ok for him to have a later bedtime. When his eight year old brother is nine his bedtime should be extended too. I have a sister who is 13 months younger than me and a sister who is 4 years older. When were growing up my older sister always got to do things like have a later bedtime. When I got old enough to have a later bedtime too, my younger sister got hers extended at the same time. I always resented that. This happened with other things like wearing make up, etc. I do think it is fair for the older child to get to do things that the younger children don't get to do. I just think you have to be consistent. If you extend the bedtime at 9, then when the other children are 9 their bedtimes should be extended too. The kids are not the same age, and they won't always be treated equally. But as long as you are consistent, then it won't hurt the family harmony. The younger kids will see that there are benefits to getting older and they will look forward to when it is their turn to get those same benefits.
2007-12-05 06:59:12 · answer #4 · answered by kat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Change The 8 Year Olds Bedtime Too Cause Then It Wont Be Fair
2007-12-13 06:43:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does making a 9yr old go to bed at the same time as his younger brothers do to family harmony? It must make him really resentful.
Most kids, in most families have varying bedtimes depending on their ages. My 9yr old goes to bed about 8:30, the 11yr old is 9-9:30 and the 14 yr old is at 10-10:30.
2007-12-05 06:59:54 · answer #6 · answered by pinkpiglet126 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that the amount of sleep a 3-year-old needs is dramatically different than what an 8- or 9-year-old needs. I think you should base their bed time on how much sleep their bodies need. If I were the parent, I'd have one bed time for the 3-year-old, which would be the same every day. I would have another bed time for the 8- and 9-year olds, which would be the same for both of them, but would change on the weekends.
If the 8-year old is continually treated like a 3-year old, he'll resent his parents, as well as his both siblings (one for having special privileges, and the other for holding him back).
2007-12-05 06:55:07 · answer #7 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
On a school night my 9 and 11 year old go to bed at 9 oclock. On a friday and Saturday they get to stop up till about half 11 if they want to, although they dont usually last that long. But come Sunday, its back to 9 oclock. As they get older and they can prove that they don't need that much sleep eg. by getting up and ready for school nice and early, i will let them stop up longer at night. My 14 year old daughter currently goes to bed at 10 o clock on a school night.
I really think it depends on what the individual child can cope with.
2007-12-05 09:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by lilmissdisorganised 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think thats fine. My children go to bed early during the week when they have school but they are allowed to stay up a little later on a Friday and Saturday as they don't have school the next day.
The decision of when a child should go to bed is down to the parents, not the grandparent!
2007-12-10 08:58:48 · answer #9 · answered by . 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I certainly can see where the 9 yr old has earned that extra hour but I don't think it's helping the self esteem of the 8 yr old to be put in the same category as the 3 yr old.
I would give the 8 yr old an extra half hour with the prerequisite that he start earning it or he will be back to the old time.
2007-12-05 06:50:51 · answer #10 · answered by m_c_m_a_n 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he's not a horror from being tired the next day, why not? Perhaps though you could also consider giving the 8 year old an extra half hour, and make it clear to both that this is only for weekends.
2007-12-05 06:58:45 · answer #11 · answered by i bear no gifts 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋