my daughter, what can i do?

Question

i recently found a bottle of vodka underneath my daughters bed... when i confronted her she said she didnt know where it came from...then i got a call from my sister (my daughter babysits their children) whether my daughter knows of a missing bottle of alcohol. when i asked her she got mad and said she didnt know.. she is ussualy not the type to do this... she has not been acting differently lately, just losing a lot of weight

she has recently been raped, she didnt tell me this herself but i found out through a friend who works at the hospital, i am still waiting for her to talk to me about it, i dont think she knows i know

any advice

thanx!

Answer 1

Seems like she's trying to find a way to escape her thoughts through alcohol and getting drunk, which is not good.

Keep an eye on her and talk with her. Let her know she can TRUST you so when she wants to let go of her problems, she can do it by speaking with you and not relying on drugs or alcohol to alleviate her troubles.

Best of luck!

Answer 2

You've got communication issues with her, and you definitely need to sit down and have a serious talk with her.
She recently had a HUGE thing happen to her, and who best to talk to than a mother! Tell her you know, and that you're concerned. Tell her you love her and want to be there for her to talk to whenever she needs to.

Obviously, the vodka bottle was from your sister's home. It's too much of a coincidence. Tell her what you know, and tell her that's not a way to solve problems. Also have her call up your sister to apologize for it. Then leave it at that.

But seriously, get her into some sort of group or therapist because she has issues that are going to have to come out instead of being drowned in alcohol (or worse).

Answer 3

I agree with The Shark. She needs to get psychiatric help. It is also possible that she will need some substance abuse help. If she is under 17, you can get her into the program whether she wants to be in it or not.

I was raped when I was 13. I began drinking very soon after. I did some other drugs, but mainly the alcohol was the problem.

Please get her help now. I went through some tremendous messes in my life because I did not seek psychiatric help to get me through the trauma.

I still have problems stemming from it today, but I hope that if you can help her in this way - committing her - maybe she can live a normal life.

I am so very sorry for her and I know it has to be breaking your heart. I know it will be hard to force her into a psychitric facility, but if she was raped and is now drinking to relieve her anxiety and forget the pain of it all, it has to be done.

Bless you and her. I do hope she can get peace. And you as well.

Answer 4

Well it is obvious that she took the bottle of vodka. And it's probably the result of the rape.

You need to sit down with her and tell you know about the rape and that you want to be there for her and help get through the emotional healing.

If you are reluctant to do that call a rape crisis hot line and ask for suggestions that you can do to help your daughter.

She needs counseling desperately.

Answer 5

First of all, I am sorry for your daughter's situation all in all. There is nothing that you can do for her until she asks you for the help. In the meantime, I would encourage and open and supportive environment in which she will feel confident that it is OK to start talking to you.

At the same time, I would certainly keep a close eye on her to ensure this alcohol episode doesn't turn into anything worse. She will never begin to heel unless she confronts her situation.

And most importantly reach out to a counselor, support group, etc...for you both!!

Good Luck!

Answer 6

I believe your daughter is traumatized right now and is resorting to doing the unthinkable and things that are not like her. Being raped it something very traumatic, especially for a teen. She may not feel comfortable talking to you about this at the moment, but I think you need to find her a psychiatrist as soon as possible. Also, bring her to your local specialist to see if she was harmed in any way when she was raped.

Answer 7

I've been where your daughter is, my advice would be you should try and talk to her about it, and be sure to let her know she is not in trouble. She's feeling ashamed, depressed, and so many other emotions. Right now she thinks your the enemy, because she's scared, so be sure to show her your only their for a friend w/some advice. Tell her the horrible story's that go w/drinking, maybe she should also go the doc. and get some anti-depressants to help her get over the rape.

Answer 8

First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your daughter being raped. I am a teen myself and the only time I drink is when I am under alot of pressure. This may be a way to releave her pain. but dont believe her when she said that she doesnt know where the vodka came from.

Answer 9

I am a drug/alcohol counselor and this bottle of vocka didn't just crawl under there. Bless her heart she is in a lot of pain.
Get her some medical help, you can call the school counselor and not give your name to ask what the they recommend. Don't wait around for her to tell you, she is embarrassed and traumatized.
She really needs her mom right now, unconditional non judging mom.

Answer 10

First of all, I'm so sorry that happened to her. She's obviously hurting and maybe acting out? I would advise sitting down with her and having a good talk, not accusing her, just telling her you're worried because you care about her, you want to help her and you love her. I also suggest finding a counselor (this can be through church even), someone safe she can talk to and then maybe you can attend some sessions with her.
Good Luck

Answer 11

Getting raped is too serious to just see if she brings it up first. Most victims are too scared and embarassed to bring it up to anybody. You need to assure her that she can talk to you. And if she doesn't feel comfortable talking to you, let her know she has options. She can talk to you family doctor, or a therapist, somebody at church, or somebody at school (an adult, teacher or counselor.) No matter what, she needs to get this out. You need to encourage her. And if you don't get any results, you may just need to tell her you know about the rape and you want to help. This person needs to be put in jail, so you need to be getting names and taking it to court.