Tasks for the new, unexperienced and/or gullible PVTs or 2LTs?

Question

I remember when I was enlisted; my fellow Soldiers would love to play practical jokes on the newest and/or most gullible member of the team. They would send him to supply to pick up a box of Grid Squares for the Land Navigation Training. Or while in the motor pool, they would have him check the brakes of a vehicle by trying to push it while someone sat in the vehicle applying the brake, and then they would send him to the chief mechanic looking for Blinker Fluid or Muffler Bearings.

When I became an officer I found out my fellow Lieutenants could be just as cruel and more in-depth with some of there jokes. Usually these revolved around some made up regulation or SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) that was “common knowledge” to everybody else.

These are just a few scenarios, have you heard of any others? I have never been able to keep a straight face to pull off any jokes. And I have been on the receiving end of some attempted jokes too. Please share.
Thanks,

Answer 1

LOL, Hello CPT. SGT Wright here. My favorite when I was a PFC was I was told to go and get some BA-1100 NS (balloons) and being signal I thought it was some type of battery. When I went to get them I was told I needed a PRC (prick) E-8 in order to get them. Of couse thinking of some type of form I went back and told the SFC that told me to get them what was needed and of course he sent me to the 1SG... Kinda got a little out of hand when I told the 1SG that I needed a PRC E-8 to get some BA-1100 NS (prick E-8 to get some balloons.)

Answer 2

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RE:
Tasks for the new, unexperienced and/or gullible PVTs or 2LTs?
I remember when I was enlisted; my fellow Soldiers would love to play practical jokes on the newest and/or most gullible member of the team. They would send him to supply to pick up a box of Grid Squares for the Land Navigation Training. Or while in the motor pool, they would have him check the...

Answer 3

We used to use the ol' box of grid squares, PRC E8 (or PRC E7 or PRC E6), exhaust samples, and lots of those other classics in my old unit.

One I remember quite well is back in AIT. I went to school at a base in Arizona and they used to have (and probably still have) an unmanned surveillance dirigible high in the air most of the time. It was usually only taken down during storms or high wind. Well, it was common practice to tell the seabass (newbies) that the drill sergeants were going to need one or two of them to go on blimp duty during the weekends, for the purpose of "watching the blimp". It was explained to them that the blimp had blown down a few times lately and now personnel were needed to watch it. Best part was, most of them believed it!

I love hearing these other stories. There's no practical joke sweeter than the kind military units pull on their FNG's...

Answer 4

When I was a new SSG , 4 of us; including one CW3; Called every office in another Hqs Unit where a 1st LT friend was the S-4. TO whomever answered the phone in each office they were simply told that LT. Smith (name changed to protect the prosecuted) wanted them in the S-4 office immediately. And then the phone was hung up. We were able to have more than 30 people go to his office in less than 10 minutes. No doubt there was mass confusion

Answer 5

Option 1, had a work center bounce an email chain around for awhile discussing their lack of a certain maintenance grease. Changed the dates and times so it looked like it had been emailed for more than a day. Then we sent the new LT over to security forces to pick up a jar of maintenance grease type K9-P. Security forces sent them to their "remote storage" location, which was actually the SFS Military working dog kennel (get it? K9-P) and they informed him that he could have the jar of K9-P but he'd have to collect it himself. On the bright side, he got a tour out of the working dog facility and got to see a demonstration of the dogs' capabilities as part of the deal.

We have countless phone message memos to new LTs with the words "Major Storm Called" and the return phone number is the line for the weather workcenter. We also used to give notes that said "Scott called, please return call ASAP" listed with the Wing Commander's number (at the time his first name was Scott)

and then, of course, sending anyone on a wild goose chase for aircraft keys that one of your maintainers forgot to return.... give the guy a standard car key that isn't used anymore, and just laugh as he heads off to turn it in to flight ops.

EDIT: like the balloons one above, you can also send someone on a chase to track down who has their copy of their ID - 10T form (IDIOT).

Incidently, we USED to use the old muffler bearings one... until someone really came back with a box of muffler bearings. Apparently there were several '70s model mercedez which DID have muffler bearings inside...

Answer 6

Gotta love the jeep jokes.

Send a FNG to go get the keys outta the Humvee.

Tell the new LT how to do a sound check on our sensors. We had 8-9 junction points around our perimeter that had to be checked every couple hours to make sure they were secure. Well our new Lt wanted to learn everything he could, so our Area Supt. brought him out and had him screaming at the top of his lungs at them to do the "Sound Check."

Once told one of my new guys that everyone that came through the gate with a handicapped sticker next to their DD2220 was to be saluted regardless of rank because they were wounded in combat. That was 4 years ago, he's still doing it.

My favorite one involved convincing an Augmentee that it was part of his job to land the Hueys that flew continous base security. We had him out in the snow next to my gate trying to wave this huey in with two flashlights every time it made its pass. All the while the "pilot" was on the radio with him saying he couldnt see him and to make himself bigger. This kid was doing jumping jacks and snow angels in the snow before he figured it out.

Hell we did so many its hard to remember them all.


Edit*
GBoT

We did a similar one, but we had our guys doing a base air quality check for the weather guys. Ever seen five guys running through a field on base with trash bags billowing out behind them like tiny parachutes? That was a good day.

Answer 7

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Dammit! What do I have to do to make your list Satanist?? anyway to answer your question I don't think the Rolling Stones were absolutely terrible in the way the Jonas Brothers are absolutely terrible but I don't see how they are so popular

Answer 8

I was in transportation and we always had them get an "exhaust sample" to take to maintence for "anaylsis." We would get in the biggest, oldest, beastly-est bus that just poured out black smoke and have them stand back there with a trash bag or something else we made up while we got in and crammed the gas. Then make them RUN as fast as they could to maintence holding the "sample." LOL!

Answer 9

We used to send all the new guys to look for 40 feet of gig line. Lol. (A gig line is where your shirt line matches your metal belt buckle forming a perfectly straight line for inspection). We also used to send the new yeoman (admin asst) to get an ID10t (idiot) form.

Answer 10

prior to going out on an AIRBORNE mission, have your FNG make sure that he/she has picked up the canopy lights from supply and has the keys to the drop zone from S-3, be sure to clue your S-3 in on whats happening and have them give them some useless keys and hand receipt them to the FNG with the serial number ... ID/10-T (idiot)