How can I get my wife to tolerate my deer hunting?

Question

She knew I was an avid hunter before we got married, and she has knowingly eaten and even cooked deer meat. For some reason, now, my hunting is a problem. I've tried all the logical arguments, but she still gets upset when I go hunting...Help!

Answer 1

Point out that hunting is actually more humane in a lot of ways. Cattle are bred just for food...they are shot up with hormones and antibiotics, castrated, branded, and then led to an "assembly line" style slaughter where they probably see what happens to the cow in front of them. Even worse with chickens, they mostly grow up crammed into pens.

When you go hunting, the deer lives its happy free deer life going where it wants, doing what it wants, and eating what it wants...until it's shot, and if you're a good shot he doesn't even see it coming. To me that sounds a lot more humane. Personally I'd rather be blindsided by a hunter than killed in an assembly line at a slaughterhouse. Bring THAT up the next time she eats beef or chicken.

Answer 2

You my friend are screwed, plain and simple. I lost two good hunting buddys to the exact same phenomena. I'm now hunting pheasants with my beagle because one of them was the guy with the bird dogs and we wanted to get into rabbit hunting more so instead of getting another lab, I got a beagle, sigh.... He no longer has the labs, either!

I think it was Wilson on Tool Time that said it best "Men marry women expecting them to remain the same, women marry men expecting them to change"

One thing you could try is to constantly be around her every freakin minute until she is so sick of seeing you that she will be glad to get a weekend alone. Unless there is some unknown underlying reason, that is causing her to resent the time you spend hunting, just give it up, you are toast. Avoid the money saving argument, it just doesn't even come close. The amount of money I spend hunting I could fill our freezer a couple of times over with beef and fowl.

My wife is pretty reasonable about it, she doesn't mind the occasional long weekend with my buddies hunting, especially if I take my sons with us, but she lets me know really quick when I am abusing it! The only time she really minded a lot is when I would get back from a long overseas tour.

Got anything good to sell??

Answer 3

I am a woman hunter and I used to be just like your wife. I started going hunting with my husband and now I hunt more than he does. I work for a hunting magazine for women and there are many women on our site that are learning about hunting. It is easier and better for a women to accept hunting when she has an understanding of the sport. Encourage her to visit our site (www.thewomanhunter.com). There are lots of articles that women hunters have written (including myself) about hunting. Tell her to read "Posted: All Hunters Wanted". For that matter, go to the site yourself and print it off for her to read. I wrote this article and it is how I got involved in hunting. Invite her to go with you, but do not force the issue. I think once she meets other women that hunt and participates in an organization that educates and encourages women hunters, her opinion will change. I just returned from a mule deer hunt in Texas with my husband and I got a bigger one than he did. I also went to Michigan on a pheasant hunt this year without my husband and have a hunt planned every month next year, only one of which will be with my husband. Don't give up because it is not a lost cause. Good Luck!!

Answer 4

Make sure she doesn't get the notion that hunting is your 'first love' and that she comes second. Although, this time of year that's hard to do! I'll bet she's feeling like she's taken a back burner to your real passion.

Be careful with the "food on the table" arguments.....I know some guys that probably hunt that efficiently, but for most of us, it's an expensive hobby. Know the numbers before you attempt to go down what may be a rabbit hole, she does!

My gun club has a women's program, run by the lady who owns a local gun shop with her husband, and it's been a blessing to some of my friends whose wives were anti's. See if there's something like that near you. My wife and the gun shop owner are now good friends and the wife routinely drags women she knows to take up self-defense pistol classes, clay soprts and even hunting classes.

Also, make your hunting an activity that helps your community. Many homeless shelters or food banks will take the meat, and some processors will donate the processing if the meat's going to feed the hungry in the community.

Those of us who are fit, active and blessed enough to be able to spend the time, energy and money to go hunting also have an obligation to share in the bounty we harvest.

If you wife is religious, or just civic-minded, involve her in the sharing of what you harvest. It could be as simple as helping you find needy families in your town that could use a roast on the table or some ground meat in the freezer.

Trust me, what you give is repaid to you many times, and it can change both of yours perception of hunting from a selfish pursuit to a noble cause.

Answer 5

How often do you go? Sure hunting season is short and the year is long. But if you are going hunting 2 days a week during the season, you aren't spending much time with her. If you don't go that often than there might be some other problem. When I was married the first few years she missed me when I was gone but never complained. The last few years of our marriage she begged me to go hunting as often as possible. Then she divorced me. So if she is telling you she doesn't like it....there might be something else bothering her. Maybe she needs a hobby of her own.

Answer 6

Let me see if i got this right. She knew upfront before you married her that you are a hunter, and now all of a sudden she has a problem with it? She's using your hunting as an excuse for her behaviour, there's an underlying cause which for some reason she has decided to hide from you. Get into marriage counselling as soon as you can, if she won't be open and honest with you, there's a real need for intervention. If in fact your hunting is the reral cause of her behaviour, you need to gently remind her that she was well aware of the fact that you are a hunter, and that she entered the marriage with full disclosure of this fact without a complaint about it. It's not your problem, it's her problem that she is trying to make yours. DO NOT accept her issues as your own problem! It's not fair to you obviously, and it's not fair to her either by allowing her to give you the responsibility for her own actions and decisions. She has to be made aware of this before it escalates into something much more than it is now. It was her that changed her mind about your hunting, YOU have done nothing wrong here, she was ok with it before, now suddenly she's not ok. She needs to be honest with you about this in order for any kind of resolution to occur.

Answer 7

Take her with you. I honestly used to fuss at my husband for hunting too. I wanted the time that he spent on hunting spent with me instead. Little did I realize that it is almost like an addiction that just keeps drawing you back to those woods. My husband talked me into going with him...no strings attached. It was such a rush. Now he gets to go hunting & we spend time together. If I have my children & am unable to go, I, at least, UNDERSTAND him & his desire to go since I've experienced it firsthand. Good luck. (If that doesn't work, remind her about the time limits / seasons. You normally can only go for so long & then, unfortunately, it is over. Then, you'll be ALL HER"S!! That is, of course, unless it's good fishing time then. LOL) If all of that doesn't work, just divorce her....hunting isn't a hobby, but a way of life. I'm only kidding!!!

Answer 8

She is the infantile one. If she already knew you have been a huge hunter till now to procure married, and that's the style you bond which comprise your grandparents, then she ought to understand deer season. i'm particular i'm going to get a great type of thumbs down (in general from the ladies) for this respond. yet no, you ought to not have left your grand dad because of the fact your spouse replaced into having a ***** attack. And her leaving purposely which comprise your babies, understanding which you have been coming living house after she hung up (I wager she has that a lot administration over you, would not she?), is only selfish, stupid, and immature. how many extra looking seasons are you going to have with them? you ought to have stayed. undergo in suggestions this next year.

Answer 9

Remember you can disagree without being disagreeable.* You cannot reason with an unreasonable woman.* She is just trying to manipulate you.* It was a huge part of your life before you met her, just keep it that way or cave in to the criticism, condemning and complaining.* Your choice, not hers.* The only way for you to stop Hunting is because you want to stop Hunting, not because Anyone, Anywhere, at Anytime wants you to stop Hunting.* That is something I would never compromise for Anyone, Anywhere, at Anytime.* { Wife included}*

Answer 10

The other girl had it; she just wants you to spend time with her instead of going hunting. She's jealous that you get excited about hunting but not about her.

As long as you're not having sex with deer, she has nothing to worry about.