My girlfriend has two children but she is great and we get longer great but she has kids. What do i do? Do I stay with her or should I find someone without kids?
2007-12-05 03:23:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That is up to you. If you think you can deal with dating a woman with kids then keep seeing her. You have to keep in mind the kids will be her #1 priority and you may end up having to change and cancel plans at the last minute because her kids are sick, etc. Also, if the ex is in the picture you have to be able to handle her having a relationship with him becaue of the kids. Think about all that first before you decide to stay. If you are unsure you are ready to handle all that then tell her....no point in getting involved with both her and her children if you are not going to stick around. Don't feel bad if you decide you are not ready for that...it is a lot to take on when you have no kids of your own.
2007-12-05 03:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are seeking a relationship unencumbered by children. There's nothing wrong with having a shopping list, if you will, when you are searching for something or someone. If the children are a "Show Stopper", move on.
The problem is; you resent the children and their claim on their mother. That attitude will not change if you marry the mother. The kids will suffer because your resentment will filter through no matter how hard you try to hide it. When the children suffer so will their mother. The marriage will disintegrate and neither of you will ever figure out exactly why it happened.
2007-12-05 11:38:14 · answer #2 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she really is the perfect woman for you then you should go for it! BUT You need to consider it seriously because getting kids involved means there's not only two people involved in this relationship. They also have stake in what happens between you two and once they get attached to you then it'll be difficult if things don't work out with their mom. Also, they are going to come first and you need to be accepting of that. If you don't feel prepared to date someone with children then don't get involved. If you think you can handle it and can see yourself progressing with this woman and getting to know her kids and making them all a permanent part of your life then you should do it. Good luck!
2007-12-05 11:34:07 · answer #3 · answered by sabresgirl14221 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't hold that against her if she is the right person for you then stay in it be a role model for her kids and for her as well. If us single mom's always have worry about guys like that then we might as will give up on love, single moms need love toooo.Don't give it up just cause she has kids that would be so wrong of you.And then you give the real good guys bad names i think.( The ones who do like women with kids.)But also people with kids can make it hard on new relationships so you really need to go with your heart dude..Best of luck...
2007-12-05 11:35:29 · answer #4 · answered by Toni A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's really the perfect person for you, then you should stay with her. Her kids shouldn't be a problem. Ask her if you can spend time with them, get to know them. You might like these children, you never know. Don't give up if you think she really is 'the one'!
2007-12-05 11:27:40 · answer #5 · answered by Cinders 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say you just try to hang out with the kids a little see if you like them also. My cousin-in-law James dated my cousin Shalmarie when she had a son and he actually stayed with shally because he liked Jace. It's hard though when you're a girl having to be the one who has the kids at home cuz it is like a responsibility right off the bat if you get married but think of her ruff position in that area. it can be hard if you don't get along with them so just kinda try that area.
2007-12-05 11:28:43 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i u leave her for the kids then u never really liked her to begin with the fact that u even ask yourself that is rediculous u cant fault someone for having children u never know those kids might be the best thing that happened to u and u might be the best thing for them
2007-12-05 11:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by LiL mAmMa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in this day and age i dont know where ur gonna find someone without kids but i think if things are going good you should be with her and her children. as long as there is no baby daddy drama.
2007-12-05 11:27:47 · answer #8 · answered by cupcake26 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that depends do you not want kids...do you have a problem with kids....my boyfriend has two and i cant imagine my life without the kids....its hard at first dealing with the fact that he is in constant contact with his ex but after awhile its no big deal....if you dont want kids i would end it now before the kids get attached to you
2007-12-05 11:28:38 · answer #9 · answered by trueimage_81 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to be with her then you have to want to be with her kids too. If you are not kid material, then you need to move on and let her find someone who is willing to appreciate her kids as much as they do her.
2007-12-05 11:29:23 · answer #10 · answered by peyton31602 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋