I feel my coming out is imminent. It's reached a point where my mother, who is a hardcore southern baptist, pretty much knows I am not an atheist and I can tell she is pissed. I also have a cousin and uncle who are preachers. She and I will be having a discussion in a few days if not today, and I don't know what to say other than "I don't believe in any gods" or to ask her "what's so special about YOUR god?"
Please help me argue or share your experience or whatever you can to help me.
2007-12-05 03:12:34 · 15 answers · asked by Zhuo Zi 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Edit: They are most likely going to ask me. I have been pretty good at dropping subtle hints over the last few years. However, I accidentally put on my wish list that I wanted a collection of Thomas Paine's pamphlets like Common Sense. Mom read into it as I was attacking her and sent me a nasty email. I am 21 and have 1 more semester in college btw and going to grad school.
2007-12-05 07:55:00 · update #1
This is a tough one. I have two questions though. The first is, "is telling them important to you or to them?" Are they going to ask or are you going to tell? If you feel a need to tell, then I suggest you explore why you believe there isn't a divine being and think about how to explain from their point of view.
Think about "what makes them hardcore?" If they were not your parents and just other people you happen to know, how would you relate to them? One of the hardest things in life is realizing your parents are just other people. At some point, you will be able to view your mother as just another person. She will always be your mom and if you love her, then you will always love her. Religion plays a key role in the lives of many people.
I attend church with my wife, who is deeply disturbed that I have become an atheist, but I see no reason not to do things that are important to her, like go to church. I do not try and change her mind, I respect her right to be her.
You will need to respect their right to be them. They may not respect your rights to be you. There are some people I don't tell I am an atheist because it is so far from their understanding of how the world works and they are so old that it would only hurt our relationship and add nothing.
You may look at arguments against being baptist. Look at Catholic beliefs for example as sources of ways to pick particular bible passages apart and find different points of view. Your point of view is that they are all wrong. But you may start with the bible and show it has many meanings, and that you reject some of it because you believe it is factually incorrect. If it is incorrect then the whole religion is incorrect.
Think through why you do not believe so you can help them to understand. There isn't much more you can do.
2007-12-05 03:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by OPM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you can gauge which parent would be the least shocked or offended, if at all. Then approach the subject as gently as possible with that parent. Most importantly, don't engage in debate with them. Simply remain neutral and say things along the lines of "that's just how I feel about it".
2007-12-05 03:25:30 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Saturday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my honest advice would have been to not point it out until you were out of the house. But if she is going to ask you directly about it there really isn't anything to tell you until you see how she reacts.
But congrats on thinking for yourself and good luck. I hope it goes well. Some parents really go off the deep end.
2007-12-05 03:21:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I would like to congratulate you for thinking for yourlelf. You're obviously a smart person that uses their brain and does not just accept what people tell you. Not knowing your family it's hard to give you much advice. I do wish you the best though.
2007-12-05 03:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by CageKennelz24 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do is first examine the reasons for your belief that God doesn't exist. By understanding them yourself, you will be better able to explain to her why you are an atheist. You should explain to her that you're not "rejecting" God, but simply do not feel his presence.
Also, be prepared for her to be rather upset. Also, make sure you don't attack her for believing in God. Good luck.
2007-12-05 03:18:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It wont' work. Trust me, it is much better to just say something like "I don't know what I believe" or "I'm just not into organized religion". If they are hardcore Christians, they will not be able to tolerate you being atheist.
2007-12-05 03:21:50 · answer #6 · answered by Take it from Toby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very careful if I were you. Especially if you are under 18. The last thing you want is for them to send you off to jesus camp for a spiritual cleansing.
2007-12-05 03:22:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, stop going to church. Eventually you should tell them how you feel, but only you will know the right way or circumstance in which to do it. If they truly love you, they will accept it. Good luck... :)
2007-12-05 03:21:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't argue with her. Nothing you say will get through to her. Just simply say I do not share your religious belief mom. I love you but we disagree on this and nothing you say is going to change my mind.
2007-12-05 03:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Help you argue"... I think you just shouldn't go there. Really. Don't argue.
This is going to hurt them. They are going to be worried for your "salvation" etc etc. They will be concerned. Don't argue.
Let me know how it goes - I'm in the same situation (exactly) except my parents don't know yet...
2007-12-05 03:24:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋