Tragically, my mom's cousin and his wife died in a car crash 2 days ago. I have only met them once at my grandfathers funeral. I live far away and don't plan on attending the services. However, my mom's sisters are trying to pressure me and my sister to attend. All of their kids are going. I am starting to feel guilty about my decision. What do you think?
2007-12-05 03:06:37 · 17 answers · asked by Marie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When you attend a funeral it ISNT for the person who passed away, its to show support and love for the family that remains. Its a respect thing, and I think that you should go.
2007-12-05 03:09:23 · answer #1 · answered by BiancaVee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how much it will require of you to attend. If you have to arrange a few days off from work and then arrange travel and lodging then there needs to be a pretty good reason for you to be there. If you barely knew the person then it would depend on how much the survivors needed you to be there. If your mom is in a deep mourning over the loss of her cousin then maybe you should consider it to be there for her. If she is not mourning too deeply or if she already has lots of people there for support then you are not really going to be able to do a lot of good there. Pausing your life to attend might not be a good idea.
Another thing that might be going on is an impromptu family gathering. It is close to christmas and your aunts may be wanting to get all of the family together so everyone can see everyone. I have seen this happen before.
2007-12-05 03:14:34 · answer #2 · answered by A.Mercer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, talk to your mother about it. If she wants you to go, then go for her, but in the end it's up to you. You have a lot of things to take care of, so unless your aunts are willing to pay for your transportation costs as well as to help out with any wages lost (in case you don't get a paid day off for family things like this), you have every right to pass on this. Don't feel guilty about this. I've passed on funerals to family members like this before & everyone understood. It's incredibly unfair that they are trying to emotionally blackmail you into coming.
2007-12-05 03:11:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be the last time you see any of the other relatives. Take advantage of the situation and go. If not send a card with the other relatives. I think that you need to attend. Just to be polite. and to get away for a while.
2007-12-05 03:14:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
although it would be nice if you were able to attend if you were closer in location to your family, they will (should) understand that you are unable to go. You said it best yourself, that you only met them once, so unless you had a very close relationship with, say, his mom or sibling, you shouldn't feel guilty about not going. Make sure to send a nice condolence card and possibly some flowers to indicate that you wish you were able to attend. Good luck!
2007-12-05 03:11:47 · answer #5 · answered by ♀Redheaded Sunshine☼ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a whole different situation than previously described. Etiquette is the least of your worries. Stay away from the funeral and anything having to do with your BF. Your parents are right to be scared based on the new information you are giving.
2016-05-28 07:11:11 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They should not pressure you. You didnt really know the person. Id say do what you want. There are other ways of honoring the deceased besides going to funeral . You could make a donation in her memory. It should say in the obituary what charity to donate to.
2007-12-05 04:53:02 · answer #7 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well they cant push u in 2 going 4 1 thing but they probaly really wont u 2 *** .show an appearance 2 show your support.or y dont u stick a card in the post or summat 2 show respect
2007-12-05 03:12:24 · answer #8 · answered by Kaytee :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you only met them 1 time then i say no. But if all of your family is going to be their i'd say go it might be a chance to meat a part of your family you havent met befor.
2007-12-05 03:11:24 · answer #9 · answered by Respect Is What It Is 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go to support the family.
2007-12-05 03:12:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋