I don't know if there's a non-embarrassing way to put this. I'm one of the only virgins that I know, and there's this guy I really like, who kinda likes me back, I'm not exactly sure how he feels, but anyway, I kinda thinking about taking our relationship thing to the next level, but I'm kind of scared that we'll end up having sex. My problem with that, is that he's done one of my best friend's too, I just don't know if it's right. Any opinions?
2007-12-05 02:19:17 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dont- save it for when your married, dont be ashamed to be one of the few virgins out there,it only means you've got more class than all your friends put together
2007-12-05 02:22:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Well, you haven't said how old you are...and you sound like you could be young. If you are a young person, really, there is no rush. Sex often causes more problems than you need, emotionally and otherwise.
If not, well, if you have to ask, then you already know the answer. Wait. There is no need to rush into things, especially if you aren't sure how he feels. Let's put it this way, he's a guy, most likely..he'll be fine with sex. The ball is in your court, keep it there.
The fact that he slept with one of your best friends, well...it's a little too close to home for me. He sounds like kind of a player, and who wants that for their first?
Don't worry about other people and what they are or aren't doing. Really. They aren't in bed with you, are they? Sometimes, making the mature decision is all about what you think is right, not what everyone else thinks.
Good luck, use your head...it sounds like you know what to do.
2007-12-05 10:53:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before deciding, go to your school and find three persons to ask that question to:
1. The girl who got pregnant and now has 1 or more kids to feed, no job, no skills, and no place to live - while trying to go to class, study and pass exams. And by the way - now no social life.
2. The girl who was given one of the hundreds of venereal diseases that are widely spreading, and have no cure.
3. The student - who's mom did what you're thinking of doing. Who wanted to have fun for a night, and now has to live in poverty, has no dad, only 1/2 a family, feels inadequate, lonely and will have a host of other psychological problems to deal with in life. My kids depend upon their dad very greatly.
4. Also - the parents, who had to sacrifice the first time around for their child, now have to sacrifice again because of the actions of their daughter.
Dear, you actions WILL have consequences for you and for others. Use some common sense and just look at the 1 million plus girls before you that have already tried that course of action.
2007-12-05 10:34:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have confidence in yourself that you can draw lines and set up borders? If you don't then don't. But there's nothing wrong with saying "hey, cute guy I like you, but I only want to have sex with someone I love in a long-term committed relationship. It's not gonna happen with me for at least 2 years. If this is a problem then we don't have to be a couple, and I won't hold it against you, because I know that sex is important in some people's relationships. That doesn't mean we can't have fun eventually, but for a while I'll be drawing the line at _________. But I like you and would like to try being bf/gf (or whatever you call it)." Let him know up front the expectations and what's going to happen, and then STICK WITH IT.
Good luck.
2007-12-05 10:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just look at it in 2 ways
A.) love is hard to find, so you should wait.
B.) Your virginity is like a human life once it is gone it is gone forever, no coming back. I know girls who waited 16 years and lost it in 2 days to a guy and now the guy is a complete stalker dude who is psycho. it just causes more problems then it is worth especially your first time because most guys look at it this way "it is just another knot ch in the old belt" they don't care 99.9% of the time.
2007-12-05 16:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by ru4thewwe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't lose your virginity.It's precious.The guy isn't fare.You said he had sex with your good friend.Are you really craving for sex at this age with a guy who hardly has any moral values and already had sex with your best friend.Why don't you realise that he is coming closer to you to have sex , nothing else.Do you think after having sex you will have better relationship with him which will make it more firm and lead to a permanent one? The same thing should have happened with your friend after they had sex.It didn't.He is a bundle of sex and is totally immoral.Please don't lose what is so precious.....preserve this until you marry a guy you love and who really cares for you.Do you realise that you will start hating yourself once you ose your virginity to such a character and I am sure you will lose your self respect.It's totally unacceptable.
2007-12-05 10:30:46 · answer #6 · answered by bikashroy9 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're having to ask stranger if it's right, then it's probably not. You should not have sex until you're ready. Even if you want to elevate the relationship to include fondling or even oral sex, you don't have to have intercourse until your ready.
I don't believe it's necessary to wait until marriage for sex, but you should wait until you're ready and you're found a person you want to share your body with.
I hate to break this to you sweetie, but once you start having sex it's going to be very difficult to find a partner who has not "done it" with someone else. And in the closed environment of high school and even college, there's a good chance it was with someone you know.
2007-12-05 10:27:07 · answer #7 · answered by Justin H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd wait until you are sure that the person you give it up to genuinely cares about you and isn't just going to drop you like a bad habit once you give it up. Give it some time until you are sure that he really likes you/ loves you. Don't just give it to anyone (especially a guy that has already had sex with your best friend).
When you are really ready you will know.. It sounds like you aren't yet. So save it and give it to someone who deserves it and treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
2007-12-05 10:23:24 · answer #8 · answered by Meggie Smalls 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is this : you only have 1 "first time", so keep that in mind. It is really a choice only you can make. But once it's done, you can't take it back. Just look inside, and make sure that whatever you choose to do, you won't regret it. Good luck (and kudos for maintaining your virginity - lord knows it's not easy in this world)
2007-12-05 10:23:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Dnt have sex unless your ready like real talk I would wait till your married I wish I did. cuz once you do it with that person you really kinda fall in love with them and their feelings may not be like yours(especially if your young) and thats how you end up gettin hurt but even if you dont wait till marriage do it with someone you care about and when you are ready and DNT TRY TO KEEP UP WIT UR FRIENDS its not worth it cuz i bet some of them wish they would have waited too
2007-12-05 10:24:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋