I hate my life, and i hate myself?

Question

it seems, that evrything is just turning against me, no matter how hard i try, and everytime i am happy it just gets taken away from me and replaced with something more hurtfull, i just want to just for once not have to fight for everything, i just want to not have the responsibility for once, i want someone to care about me and think about me, instead of it always being vice versa

i feel like i am having a mental breakdown, i feel trappd and i want to break free. and yes i know i am selfish and self centered for thinking like this, guess ill get punished for this too. none of my friends are true friends they just want to use me and all i do is give and give and i just want a friend in return

i live in a very small town, so i cant make friends, boys are only intrested in me for a while, then they just hate me. i dont want to go on with this life of mine, i want to escape and get away, but i cant because i have to look after everybody else and no one else even notices me ever

Answer 1

When you throw a pity party, don't be surprised when no one else comes. Get out and be a friend to others. treat them how you want to be treated and don't expect anything in return. Then you just might get what you wanted.

Answer 2

You are a very mixed up young lady. I am thinking particularly of this:

"i feel like i am having a mental breakdown, i feel trappd and i want to break free. and yes i know i am selfish and self centered for thinking like this, guess ill get punished for this too. "

Who would punish you for feeling this way? That doesn't make sense. I know that you are in pain, and I sympathise with you, but you need to stop hating yourself, and feeling persecuted, because it is making you very unhappy. These attitudes will also make it hard for you to make friends, and that is true wherever you go.

I can see that you are very lonely. That can and will change. I can't give you any concrete suggestions, because I don't know your circumstances, and neither does anybody else here. I can only suggest that you take it easy on yourself, and be kind to yourself. You say that you give and give to your friends. Well if that is true, then it seems to me that you are a good person.

There are other good people out there too, and you need to find them. First of all, stop hating yourself, stop believing that everyone hates you (I know that people can be selfish and hurtful), and try and be a little more relaxed about your views on life. There are people who will appreciate your good qualities. It is true. There are billions of us all over the world, and we aren't all bad :-)

Good luck, and I wish you well.

Answer 3

Start by learning to stop and appreciate yourself. That may be hard to do right now, but unless you can learn to see yourself in a positive light, you won't properlly recover. How many times this week have you done the things you felt comfortable doing? How many times a month do you find yourself doing the same routine just *for* people?

These are very broad and generalized questions that you may interpret yourself.

My suggestion for self-help is meditation, because I've had experience with it. I won't bother saying it works wonderfully because that's my opinion alone. But *in* my opinion, it's a way, or an air-breather, from all the hectic ways that life can be. There are certainly other ways to relax when you feel trapped by everything in life. And meditation is my way of doing it. Don't feel trapped if you find yourself with nothing to look forward to *from* people. The important thing is making *yourself* happy first. Maybe they need to change, but I wouldn't necassarily think about them. I would focus on learning to be happier about *myself*.

As for friends, I choose to go online for friends to meet my intellectual and social standards. It works perfectly. My advice if you're to go down this road, is to never decline yourself as a nerd, worthless, or antisocial. Those are strong words. You're a social creature just like everyone else, you're simply trying to *help yourself*. Don't let anyone else tell you differently. You matter. I'd advise you to keep that in mine when someone tries putting you down.

Following from the above paragraph, I don't appreciate people saying 'my way has to be your way of seeing things.' Honey, you'll never meet their standards because their wants will always be different from yours. And are you being selfish? Isn't it them that are 'wanting and wanting and wanting'? When will that end? Is it fair to live a life in servitude and denying yourself any means of happiness? In my opinion, I see that people tend to use people for their own selfish reasons. True friends are hard to find. But I wouldn't worry about finding friends at this stage, as I suggested, you deserver some 'you' time first. That's my perspective really.

Also, keeping a diary online or offline is so so so helpful. I can't convey how many times I've read something I wrote previously out of anger or sadness that I see as totally ridiculous or stupid and I laugh about it later. Or I think "Gee, was I thinking like that? I grew up!" Memories are important to me, maybe they are to you to preserve?

I hope you get better.

Answer 4

Lets trade places, then you will know true fear and hatred.
I am sorry for what you are going through but my life is much more in turmoil. Good things take time to come about, if you rush them then they will fail and you will have to wait again, in due time you will make good friends; just be who you are and try to be happy, people like happy people make funny jokes that don't make fun of people but life; everyone can laugh at these and you will make more friends. When you move out you will get the chance to meet more people and see where life takes you, just try to hold on for a bit more because we humans are made to live through difficult tasks and we are made to survive, uphold thy honor and continue with your head up high.

Answer 5

Whatever with these people. They don't know what they are talking about because they have never felt loneliness like you or I have. You are sad and I can understand why. I have a similar situation but thankfully I finally found one good friend. Before her (I am actually a 16 year old white girl) I was used by all my "friends" and they made me feel really bad about myself. Sometimes you need self pity to get you through things because no one else cares. Go have a pity party! I do it all the time. Who cares if its selfish? You really don't have anyone else in this world but yourself. I just hope that you can find a good friend like I have to help get you though things or someone you can relate to. Hope things get better for you.

p.s. really though don't let people persecute you for having a pity party...............jerks

Answer 6

Listen to yourself!

Every time I'm tempted to feel sorry for myself, I remember when I was 10 years old, a boy I met who had no arms, no legs, no family, and was scrounging in the dust, hobbling on stubs to get around, begging for food just to stay alive.

So please, don't expect me to feel empathy. Almost no one has life handed to them on a silver platter.

Get out of your self pity and go find someone worse off than yourself, be a friend to them, help them. As you are doing that, you'll suddenly discover you have a good friend.

The selfish in life will end up alone and miserable.

Answer 7

The real secret to having no problems is.... rather than escaping, to be completely here. This is because problems cannot exist here and now.

Problems are a result of resisting and thinking about what you're not accepting.

Therefore, enjoyment is dependent on appreciating what is, and being present.

Answer 8

Well I think that you should go on a long vacation by yourself and then you might find someon who loves you for you and another thing I do when Im stressed out is go skinny dipping I know it sounds silly but its so stress releaving I ussually go at night but it works and talk to someone you can trust

Answer 9

well goodness, no one else needs to notice you, you are doing a fine job of it all by yourself. If you do indeed know that this little post of yours shows just how self centered you are, then I suggest you do something about it, because you are not happy. If you want to be happy you need to be thinking about something other than yourself. Get yourself some counselling kiddo.

Answer 10

Dont let them win ,get some help from somewhere ,you seem very ,very depressed and it will get worse if do not get help,ask family members to help you and maybe go out by yourself for half hour for a walk just to unwind.