How to manage 1 year old (still breastfeeds) and pregnant 4mths at the same time?

Question

What should I do? I'm exhausted most of the time, no helper, can't afford any, please give suggestions on how to manage my time better - not putting pressure on the bump of course...PLEASE HELP....

Answer 1

As long as your pregnancy is going well, there shouldn't be a need to wean. That really isn't the biggest issue faced by parents with closely spaced kids, nor will it solve all of your problems. ;) One year olds are still very needy, both emotionally and physically. You will probably have two kids in diapers for a while, as well as two who each need a lot of one-on-one attention.

My kids are 21 months apart, and I was still breastfeeding when my second was conceived. I found myself needing to wean because nursing became painful (nature's way of telling us to prepare for another baby!). However, she started nursing again after my son was born because it helped ease jealousy. Regardless of what you do, your most important task during pregnancy and/or breastfeeding is to stay well hydrated and well nourished.

I also found a sling wonderful for my second baby. He was happiest while being carried around, and I had my hands free to deal with my daughter. I could nurse him in it without much adjustment, and mine had a "tail" of cloth that could easily serve as a blanket to cover up. Using a sling also allowed my older daughter to continue using a stroller when we were out since she hadn't really outgrown it and I didn't want a cumbersome double stroller. Maya wraps and moby wraps are each around $45 and have wonderful reviews. There are a variety of other baby carriers as well if you look around.

Good luck, and find a good parenting group in your area. You are not the only one dealing with closely spaced kids, and it helps to get together with other moms of young children. You will make it. :)

Answer 2

For all of the people who say you should wean I agree to an extent. It's completely false that you HAVE to wean. It doesn't do any harm to your child [medically], it doesn't do any harm to your unborn child [medically], and if it's not stressing you out it won't do you any harm. However, if you are stressing out about it or want to stop. Do it! It's up to you. I don't care what the La Leche League says, unless there are two willing participants [child AND mother] it's not going to work. If you still enjoy breastfeeding and want to continue go for it!

Anyway, I understand how you feel. I am also pregnant and I have an almost two year old. It gets tiring and even though you have a reasonable excuse so to say you still feel guilty when the house is a mess or you aren't spending as much time on the other one as you once had.

There are problably moments in your day when you feel you could conquer the world. Feed off those times and get as much done as possible. For me, I'm wide awake in the mornings. What do I do? I set up my timer and clean. I set up a timer because it's so easy to push yourself to do more. With a timer if you only have fifteen minutes to clean your one year old's room then that's all you get. You can't begin to rearrange furniture or get into a rut which is what I always do. Believe it or not when you feel you're being timed you get a lot more done in fifteen minutes then otherwise. So, I'll maybe spend an hour in the morning [10-15 minutes in each room] cleaning before I take a break. The house looks great and my son and I are both happy.

Then we just relax and that's okay! I'll put out some crayons in the living room on the coffee table and we'll color. Sometimes, we'll take a walk to the park and I'll sit and relax. Or, we'll go in his room and play for a little while. There's a chair in there by the way. There are plenty of ways to relax without issues. When he naps--I nap. PERIOD.

Then in the afternoon I clean up a little bit more, again, with a timer. I'll cook a bit of dinner or sometimes we'll have leftovers. Heck, it's a-okay to use paper plates in this house. Less dishes to wash!

Anyway, I hope this has helped in some way. I know it's hard but you'll figure your own ways of getting things done soon enough. Best of Luck!

Answer 3

Please -give yourself a break and wean that one year old!!

Remember no matter how cluttered the living room and bedrooms are if the kitchen is clean and the bath room is clean - no one should complain. And if they do then tell them they are welcome to clean up anytime they want to.

Look take your one year olds basic schedule- by now you know when he will nap and when hes gonna be hungry, then make a list of things to do daily and weekly ( if you get paid every two weeks then do weekly and monthly). Take out a calendar and use it to keep track of your once a month or twice a month trips as well as any appointments for you, your husband and baby.
Really think about what kind of person you are - I like my mornings quiet and spend time on the computer others like to get up and get the house cleaned, and be out doing things. So look at yourself - when is the best time for you , to do the work needed. Cause spending time with your one year old playing or reading is a lot more fun than housework. I clean in the afternoon unless i have appointments or something. After breakfast and lunch are done-this works for me but our youngest child no longer takes naps so it is feasable for me to do that.
Another secret is to spread the work out- during the afternoon while doing the housework I clean this way: I start at any doorway, follow the room all around the edges -picking up any stray thing I see, straightening magazines and putting away books, toys, etcs all the way back to the doorway then I go to the next room doing the same thing. When this general sweep of the main rooms is done the house already looks better!!! Just that much can make a huge difference. And rooms can be done all at once or one room now and another later.

In the kitchen you can eliminate dishes in the sink if you have a dishwasher by simply always rinsing and putting in the dishwasher if its full run it. When its done empty it. This WILL make your kitchen stay cleaner. If no dishwasher then fill sink with hot water (hotter the better) when you start a meal, as you work put the utensils and such in the sink, when serving put the pans in the sink whenever possible- then go eat. When you come back the dishes in the hot water have basically washed themselves, wash them down and put in sink or drainer, Fill first sink again with hot water- put in all plates, silver, cups etc and go watch tv with your husband or play with your son. THIS METHOD TRULY WORKS I know cause my kitchen always was a mess until i started using this method.

Answer 4

For starters, I would stop breastfeeding. It would be best for your unborn baby AND for you. You'll get more energy. Your 1 year old has had enough. (Most babies are lucky to get 3 months ). I stopped when my kids were about 12-13 months and found it very easy at that time, because they are fascinated by a cup and want to toddle around away from me anyway. I think if you go on longer than that, as my sister did and others I know, like closer to 2 years, the kids have more of a memory and are more demanding. Then it's harder to stop. Give them a cup and cuddle them while they drink it.

Sleep whenever you can. Don't worry about anything else, a perfect house, shopping, etc. The babies are the most important thing.

The next few years may seem like a nightmare! They did for me as I had no help except my husband. But now I feel sad that my kids aren't babies anymore, and I miss those times.

Good luck to you

Answer 5

I would NOT stop breastfeeing. It is so important still at this age. Go to llli.org and find a meeting near you. They have lots of info on tandem nursing.
If there aren't any near you then try a google search of nursing moms meetings and your town/area. Some WIC offices have them (you do not need to be on WIC or even qualify), some hospitals even offer them.
Mothering.com also has several breastfeeding message boards and you can get great advice/ideas and encouragement.
Good luck!!

Answer 6

Get a baby gate or playpen area. The one year old will need to get used to some "playtime" alone in the safe, enclosed area. You can lie down on the couch near the play area and just rest. Spend more time resting, and FORGET about the perfection of the home.
For food, get a crockpot, throw some meat in it in the morning and turn it on. How about some nice paper plates? Sometimes, ya just got to relax your standards. Use frozen veggies and microwave some potatos.
For yourself...stay hydrated. Drink plenty of skim milk and also water or green tea. If you are still nursing, you get dehydrated easily which contributes to fatigue. Also, don't forget the daily vitamin.
This too shall pass, LOL

Answer 7

Time to wean the 1 year old to the cup. I had to do this with my 8 month old because I was exhausted as well. Being pregnant and producing milk was just too much for me!

Answer 8

How about letting your 1 year old decide when to wean? Trying to wean a child who isn't ready to is very difficult and can be even more tiring. You can breastfeed more than one child at a time. I know of mothers who have breastfed their 1+ year old and a newborn. Usually the older child only breastfeeds occaisonally, and your body will make enough milk for both. You 1 year old may self-wean in the next few months before your new baby is born.

My son was 17 months when he self-weaned himself.

Answer 9

I would wean 1 year old off of the breast and onto a sippy cup now. He/she is old enough. With you being pregnant on top of everything else, it isn't good for you to be so taxed physically. If the 1 year old cries... he/she cries. Eventually he will learn to take the cup like all kids.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Be aware that weaning a child who is not ready to be weaned is likely to be MORE exhausting and stressful than allowing her to continue nursing. Your 1 year old is still a baby and still needs the comfort and nutrition that nursing provides.

Here is some good information on extended breastfeeding, nursing during pregnancy, and tandem nursing:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/tandem/index.html
http://llli.org/NB/NBpregnancy.html
http://llli.org/NB/NBtandem.html

If you have a La Leche League group in your area, they're a great source of help and support.

Good luck to you!