Why don't people complain about men getting their self esteem attacked?

Question

This is just a curiousity question more than anything. I listen in amazement as women instruct men on how they need to be careful what they say because their feelings are so sensitive. That low self esteem causes them eating disorders etc. When I was in school, to the best of my memory, guys were always trying to get the girl's attention and she would have absolutely no mercy on his self esteem at all. If you want a movie example, look at what happened to Pedro (in Napoleon Dynamite) when he wrote a girl a note asking her to a dance and she replied with, NOO!! Not no thankyou, but NOO! I know this is just a movie but I've seen that a lot in real life too. How many men out there have experienced what I'm talking about? Please include details, like whether or not you asked her politely and not like a player etc. I'm only asking this question because I'm a bit confused with women feeling so mistreated because honestly it seemed the exact opposite for me in school.

Answer 1

You are absolutely right. It is no more acceptable for women to treat men rudely than the other way around. All I can say is that not all women are like that, same as not all men are.

Answer 2

They do. There are books out there on the "war" on our boys. It's been an issue on "Oprah" and the other daytime talk shows.

The truth is that our culture puts a horrible onus on being a teen that doesn't have to be there, male or female. Kids want so much to be grown when they are 10, 11, and 12. By the time they become teens, they are led by the media and the school culture to believe that if they are inexperienced or rough around the edges, they come up short, whether it is too tall, too short, too thin, too heavy, or just normal teen-aged awkwardness. The idea seems to be that if they are not as polished as the kids on "High School Musical," that they are just not good enough, which is nonsense.

People who are cruel for sport are NOT cool, but the culture still idolizes them for the art of the put-down.

Gender is not the issue. Elevating stupidity to the cultural norm is.

Answer 3

There are rude people..nothing to do with gender, race, culture etc. No-one can affect yourself esteem unless you allow it. Statistically more women are abused by male partners than men but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen to men and there is help for men although harder to find. You sound like you have some real issues about women and are strangely drawn to ones that will put you down. Some councelling will help. Look at yourself and set the example. Avoid others that you don't like and have a bit of humour about the less important things. As for the eating disorder..there's some history of yours in there that you haven't yet learnt from. It is awkward for many women to say 'no thank you' as rejection is never nice so some just don't know what to say out of embarrassment. Have you really never said anything wrong by accident? Most women like strong men and it isn't yet acceptable for men to whinge like women..we are different and let's accept and celebrate that..otherwise try dating men!

Answer 4

Men will always get the short end. How many times have you heard of a man getting "Most Bald" award at a high school reunion but have you ever heard of an award to the "Fattest Woman"? Guys get the shaft in a divorce all the time. A very dear male friend of mine is going throught that now. He's never cheated on his wife, is an excellent provider, loves his kids, etc. However SHE wants a divorce and he is going to lose everything because SHE wants to leave him. It's not fair!

Answer 5

When someone figures out 'how" a female's mind works & learn "all" there is about females, then that would be a first!
Not saying females are bad but a bit unpredictable. I for one cherish them for where would we be without them? My self-esteem is built on my wifes love for me, not the only reason, but she helps. Towards the NOO thingy, everyone has been there so how many females are alive today? Go to the next one.

Answer 6

I like your question, and I think it is very sincere. But everyone has his/her story. I happened to be the ugly girl in school that everyone teased and nobody wanted. The guys laughed and teased me, and, of course, they were always grinning and trying to get the pretty girl's attention. Was I pissed off! Am I still pissed off! Yes and Yes!

Of course, there are nice guys out there who have been 'dissed' by girls. But women can just as easily post questions of their trials and tribulations and confusions as to their experiences with men.

I don't mean to make light of your question, but that's life. There will always be problems between the sexes.

And to answer your original question....unfortunately, you see it all the time in the news when a man's self-esteem is under attack. Look at the news stories and think about it. Something else to think about it....how do we women handle our disappointments? What does society expect us to do? Double standards, I think.

Answer 7

It's called the double standard. It's what women do. There are a few, and I mean a very few, women out there that do care about men and how they feel. Most women though, feel like men are just there to put women before them on everything. They want you to put the seat down, they want you to hold doors for them, they want you to let them sit down and you push their chair in for them, want you to be sensitive to your feelings, and want their feet rubbed every damn night without every giving you anything in return. Yet, they want equal rights and all that jive. Pah. It drives me crazy.

That said, I love women but I think if they want to be treated equal, they should be treated equal. What they consider equal, I consider insane.

My brother has views that I don't support. He thinks men should rule over women, and gave me some funny reasons. I will end this with a bible verse he showed me trying to convince me men were meant to rule women. "Unto the woman He said, 'I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; and thy desire shall be to thy husband. And he shall rule over thee."---Genesis 3:16--- "

Answer 8

Most men go through this. But as men we are expected to be able to "take it." Women are supposed to be wimpy and weepy, but actually the old saying about "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," holds very true.

Answer 9

Yes all human beings can lose self esteem.