Do condradictions confuse you?

Question

E.g., In my case - my friend said I had no emotional content.

People have said that he is trying to 'change' me.

But isnt having influence on someone to make them a better person actually GOOD?

All the people In my life I respect have influence (positive) and this is a form of 'control'.

So WHY do we confuse ourselves with condradictions?

All my friend wanted from me was to show a bit of care and concern. I see NOTHING wrong with him flagging this up.

Farmer - have you ever been in a loving relationship?

Answer 1

Contradictions do not confuse me at all. In fact, I have learned that life itself is montage of cotradictions, which can clarify a lot for you. Someone named Pliny the Younger back in the 1st c. A.D. said, " The only certainty is that nothing is certain". One of my favorite books, which I recommend, is "Oxymoronica-paradoxical wit and wisdom from history's greatest wordsmiths" by Dr. Mandy Grothe. It's one of those books you can just open up to any page and read one quote that can suddenly open your eyes, leave you laughing, or change your perception profoundly. All of us are very paradoxical. Take myself :I am a Cancer ( I prefer the term Moonchild) with a Virgo Ascendant. My natal chart descibes me to a tee. I have a hard protective and fearless outer shell that is hard for others to penetrate until they get to know me and I trust them. This is a well disguised veneer that hides a shy, highly emotional, gentle and generous soul.I prize security above all else, yet love dangerous adventure. I want desperately to be loved and approved of but resent needing approval. I can totally relate with one person's opinion, and then relate to another's opinion the same way that is the total opposite! We all have these contrdictions within ourselves if we really get to know ourselves. It's called having an open mind. It's not "letting others overpower us" or "control us" but respecting eveyone's reality as their own, and learning and choosing our own realities sometimes through others. And we are not always perfect, but compared to what? I would love to shed my hard "turtle's shell", but that is what I was given.

Answer 2

Yes they overwhelm me as if my reality - my self were being rubbed out.

I think every question has a multiple answer and it is good to have some personal guidelines.

I don't listen to people's opinions very much unless they sound like they want to give me some feedback and can give it gently knowing that it is up to me what I do with the information.

If it isnt done with love then it is suspect.

I think it is easier to change because soemone thinks that it could be more life enhancing than any idea that you were ever wrong to be the way out you are.

I find it's also difficult to be told something without any information on how to change. There are soemthings aboutme I cannot change so it would be pointless telling me.

Answer 3

As far as I am concerned he is not trying to change you, he is trying to control you. A friend accepts you for who and what you are and does there best to allow you to be you. I would tell him that I have enought "emotional content" to fill a big top at the circus and if he cant see that then he should either get glasses or get out of town. Life is supposed to be confusing, if it was easy would it really be worth the effort? Best of Luck

Answer 4

i believe that the reasons as to why he wants to "change" you are the most important. for example, when parents are being overprotective and hypocritical when they're just trying to look after you and do what's best for you.
i don't think your friend is trying to change you in a bad way and i don't see how he could profit from you having more emotional content...unless he wants it for himself or something. either way, it's up to you whether you agree if he's right or wrong...only YOU can make the decision to change. no one can make you change.
i think there are some people who have become so paranoid with "being themselves" that they won't budge even when they're wrong. part of being human is accepting our own faults and improving ourselves.
this is not a contradiction.

Answer 5

having influence on someone, if that helps them develop theirselves, can be good, but telling someone they have no emotional content isnt good, and yes is trying to change you to their version of what is appropriate emotionally to show, or how to be
only you have control, or should, of yourself, influence should mean they offer you ideas or examples (by their behavior) and you choose to accept those concepts or not
the friend should just be and act as theirself, if that has influence on you, and you become more emotional, then fine, no one should tell you how to be ! if they are controlling you, or you are letting them control you, that is not positive,
so i am not sure where the condradiction is, control by others-not good control of yourself-good

Answer 6

Contradictions? No, I love contradictions. They make me think, and in a world that tends to spoon-feed you everything that is such a necessity. But, really, they bother the heck out of me. Or do they? Of course not, but maybe sometimes, I'm sorry, what was the question?

Answer 7

Your question is very confusing....some "ego insecure" people contradict, because they think they exert some kind of power in having a difference of opinion. If you know what you're talking about, you won't be confused, and you'll see through their attention getting game.

Answer 8

I am not fond of quotes, but I have no better way to say this:

"There are no contradictions in life. When faced with a contradiction, check your premises. You will find one of them is wrong." -Ayn Rand

Answer 9

Yes, when friends contradicts its total confusion. very difficult to take action.

Answer 10

Contradictions?

Well, it depends on you - who you are and why are you the person who you are. Are you that horrible that you need other people to change you? Do you want to be a different person?