I have a friend who is always late - sometimes by ten minutes, sometimes thirty, but consistently late. She knows she is, she often says to me, "Sorry, I know I'm always late." It didn't bother me that much until recently, when she said, "The only thing I'm never late for is work, because I'm afraid of being fired."
This made me feel really unimportant - yes, if you are always late for work you can lose your job. But if you are always late meeting a friend you could lose that friend. Perhaps she doesn't realise this?
I'm not sure whether to confront her about her lateness, because I don't think she is uncaring, I think she is just one of those people who leaves things til the last minute.
Should I have a talk to her about it, or just start giving her an earlier time to turn up to meet me?
2007-12-04 21:55:09 · 8 answers · asked by jasmine 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You should never feel unimportant. Because she's happy and relaxed with you she feels she can be late and you won't mind. It's a back-handed compliment in a way, even though it annoys you. Tony M feels the same way - but perhaps some of his friends are teed off with him too and just don't tell him about it. It IS annoying if it ALWAYS happens - especially if you are left hanging around in the cold and rain. To save an unnecessary argument, I suggest you ALWAYS arrange to meet earlier than you need to. Judge what time she'll arrive late and go to the rendezvouz similarly late yourself. You might just both arrive at the same time and there'll be no problem. If, however, she's already there then she'll have got a taste of what it feels like for someone to let her down. She's probably never experienced having to wait for someone - so it will be interesting to see whether it annoys her and whether she complains to you about it. (Pot-kettle etc) Perhaps she'll learn by example, perhaps not....whatever. You won't lose a friend, you won't waste any of YOUR precious time and you'll live in harmony together.
2007-12-04 22:25:54 · answer #1 · answered by chris n 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about it. If she doesn't improve when meeting you, then you're going to have to stop settling for her lateness.
When she's late, wait for her 10 minutes and then leave if she doesn't show up in the allotted extra ten minutes. No one's that important that you have to constantly "wait on them."
You are beginning to feel resentment toward her abusing your time anyway. And resentment only leads to bitterness and eventually, the friendship will be over.
So try talking to her but if that doesn't work, then leave when she's late.
2007-12-04 22:10:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend will always be half an hour late, so if she tells me 7.30pm, I know it will be closer to 8.00pm! It really does not bother me, she is a terrible time keeper and always has been, she will be late for her own funeral. She is always there for me when it matters though and I love her to death, it is just her flaw. I would not let it bother you, just arrange to meet and tell her to meet half an hour or so before you want to meet up, then you will not be hanging around so much.
2007-12-04 22:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would give her an earlier time to meet up and then purposely turn up late to meet her,she then might realise how frustrating it is if she has a taste of her own medicine.
2007-12-04 22:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My missus is always late for everything, work, dinner, nights out....everything and it infuriates me because i hate being late. She seems incapable of sticking to a timetable of when to leave the house and when to start getting ready and it's a constant source of arguements between us.
I'm not sure that being a little late when going out for a drink with friends is that important though.
2007-12-04 22:08:40 · answer #5 · answered by Mr Tripod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are poor timekeepers.Learn your lesson with this friend.Arrange to meet her half an hour later than you intend turning up.Ask her to meet up with you at 12pm, but don't turn up until 12.30.Give her a taste of her own medicine.
2007-12-04 22:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by CMH 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i should imagine she feels comfortable enough with your friendship that she doesn't have to stress out so much in meeting you on time as timekeeping seems somethings she finds hard throughout her life. maybe you should stop thinking about it and instead allow yourself a little extra time getting ready and be a little late yourself.at least you know your mate cant moan about it.
2007-12-04 22:02:54 · answer #7 · answered by ms sensible 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
why does it affect you so much? you are not her boss being 10 - 30 mins late is no big deal im always late to for meets with pals but no one gives a fig
2007-12-04 21:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋