Recently my girlfriend split up with me. We had some issues and were both partly to blame for the downturn in the relationship but in my mind it was def not a lost cause. At the time it seemed final and also propbably for the best. Naturally, I was sad and missed her a lot in the first week - but I didn't get in contact with her thinking it best to have some space. Then a week later she got in contact saying how much she missed me - in a moment of weakness I asked her if she's sure she did the right thing - and then she she changed her tact to "we need some time apart - lets see how we feel in a few months". Is it just me or is it unfair that she did that? The logical part of me says "you need to move on dude" but a part of me has the "post-breakup crazies" and still wants to hold on because I still care for her. I think I know what I need to do - guess I just need to hear it from someone who's not emotionally involved in all this.. Cheers in advance peeps:)
2007-12-04 21:18:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yeah, I suspect it'd be foolish to do anything other than move on - regardless of her feelings for me now, or in the future.
Wow, cheers guys, what an awesome resource. It's hard to get honesty from people when you're going through a breakup.
2007-12-04 21:39:35 · update #1
Hmmm, its difficult for someone to end a relationship and she probably does miss you, which is a normal thing if you have been together for a while and are used to seeing each other regularly. Perhaps by asking her that question in your moment of weakness, you may have put pressure on her to comfort you in some way, hence her response.
It is a unfair on you for her to do this because essentially she is holding on to you and not allowing you to move on yourself. If it was a straight split with no contact from either of you, it would be far easier to come to terms with it.
I know you want to hold out for her and you clearly still care very much for her....I think you should tell her that if she said its over then you need to be able to move on, that you will always care for her, but you now need to focus on your life without her.
Good luck : )
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2007-12-04 21:29:21 · answer #1 · answered by sweetnlow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I would first have to say that all relationships have problems and trials that they have to overcome. I would ask you to evaluate the difficulties that were being faced with in your relationship and decide if they are things that can be overcome or things that will continue throughout the term of your relationship. If this is a person you feel like you could spend the rest of your life with, then I would suggest considering counseling in the event that you decide to try and work it out. If not then I would definantly consider moving on instead of wasting time on a relationship that will never work. One thing that is obvious is that she does not know what she wants and until she does you need to continue on with your life. What is meant to be will be.
2007-12-04 21:29:56 · answer #2 · answered by Tony L O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we end up getting into a relationship with someone that has not completely recovered from a previous relationship, or is not quite ready to commit. Give her some time and space. Let her think this one through. In the meantime, I would not just sit around and mope. Get out and enjoy your freedom while you have it. She may be back and want a full commitment, and you need to be ready for it. Take this time to think about everything yourself.
2007-12-04 21:25:13 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should move on. Even after re-contacting you, she is still vacillating. However, I suspect you know that she's right to say you should continue with this time apart. The risk from her point of view (and yours, of course) is that in this interval, you will find someone else, with whom it will work out better. That, surely, is a risk worth facing.
2007-12-04 21:30:24 · answer #4 · answered by kinning_park 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a tough one, because it's not easily to fall out of love. i suggest you just try and move on, and if you still like her in a few months then talk to her. you may just find she is thinking the same as you but just needs some time alone. don't give up, nor hold on.
2007-12-04 21:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should give both of you time.be with yourself for some time.this will make you think a lot what is good for you and her and what actually went wrong in your relationship.i saw many couples feeling like you are.but be patient.i feel you love each other a lot but sometimes you should live for yourself first then will you be able to fulfill soemone else in your relationship.being apart for some time won't kill the feelings you have for each other.
2007-12-04 21:26:08 · answer #6 · answered by shaira1305 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
falling in love is so wasy to do and so wnderful but falling out can be so hard. you need to just break it off as hard as it is an move on. my partner broke up with me 2 years ago and went off with another woman and then me being an idiot i took him back. and now i have 2 kids with him which i love them to death but me and him are miserable because things were just never the same again..
2007-12-04 21:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always move on.
They say "if you love someone, set them free". As much as it may hurt, it is so true. if things are to be, they will happen. If not, you are better off this way. Move on!
2007-12-04 21:25:28 · answer #8 · answered by Ish1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need to ask....move on.
2007-12-05 03:29:23 · answer #9 · answered by alan h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋