That drinks Merlot (750 ml) starting at 2 p.m..... & then has a bottle of Chianti (750 ml) that same evening & finishes that bottle in a couple of hours? My 21 yr. old son doesn't see a problem with that but both my husband & I do. A month ago he was arrested for public intoxication, bit a nurse on the hand at the hospital he was being treated at & hit the paramedic. At that time his blood alcohol level was .21 but he still insist that he wasn't 'that drunk'. A few months back he became enraged at home & bit his dad on the hand almost to the bone! I say that anyone who behaves this way & causes pain on someone (esp. a loved one) should feel such remorse that they would be totally embarrassed & would never drink again. I believe that someone who chooses to continue to drink especially when their previous legal charges are still looming that this person has a very bad drinking problem. Would you call this person an alcoholic? Is there free help for him due to no insurance? Thanks!
2007-12-04 21:09:38 · 18 answers · asked by joie 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you all for your advice. We did not bail him out of jail also, we do not buy him anything as he does have his own job, just not enough $ to be able to get a place of his own to live. We would never buy him alcohol of any kind. I believe the toughest thing here we face is the fact that my husbands father commited suicide & so did his 14 yr. old cousin... so I think we carry so much fear as to not feel like we would drive our son off the deep end. Please anyone out there that believes in the power of prayer, please pray for our Michael. God bless!
2007-12-05 02:37:44 · update #1
I agree with you that he has a drinking problem and maybe other problems as well. Free help is available, check with your local health dept. for referrals to organizations. However in order to receive help of any kind you have to want the help and understand that you have a problem. Sounds like your son is not at that point yet. Being that he is 21 yrs. old and I guess of reasonable sound mind, you are liminted in what you can legally force him to do. Your only alternative maybe to start a "tough love" approach with him. As a loving parent this is a hard thing to do. However you must keep in mind that this is better for him and your family in the long run. Give him choices to make. eg; If he lives at your house and he comes home drinking he must move out, must have a job or be in school or move out, if he gets locked up for drinking you will not bail him out of jail, etc. If he decides to get help then support him in the effort such as attend meetings etc., with him. Let him know you love him but you will not tolerate or be part of his destructive actions.
2007-12-04 21:34:52 · answer #1 · answered by Oskar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He’s an alcoholic as tough as that is to swallow as a parent, he is what he is. Now that doesn’t mean he will always be a drunk. Education—he needs to realize the long term effects of alcohol and how it affects the brain.
I have a 26 year old who is also an alcoholic but he is dealing with it soberly—finally after many long and frank discussions—he even confesses to me when he relapses every once in a while. This is a kid who I could rarely talk to when he was a teen. It’s been a long and hard fought road but there is hope. Cling to the facts at hand and be brutally honest with yourself, your husband and hopefully your son.
Don’t ever give up nor “dump” your child ever. This is the easy way out and yes it affects the whole family eventually but right now, your boy is to ill (yes it is a disease) to realize that. Never lose hope in despair. Never ever.
AA has free resources—do a search for other local resources you will be surprised that you are not alone in this.
2007-12-05 05:23:59 · answer #2 · answered by Pi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there is no doubt he is an alcoholic. I would tell him that eather he goes to (at least) a 90 day live in treatment program or he moves out of your house and has no contact with you until he has stopped drinking. He needs some tough love. By you continuing to allow him to live in your home you are enabling his alcoholism. Meaning you might as well be bringing him home a 6-pack every night, as the money he is saving on rent he is using on alcohol.
2007-12-05 12:39:36 · answer #3 · answered by "McRib" NREMT-P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would call him an alcoholic.
As far as free programs go, if you're in the US then I would recommend looking into Alcoholics Anonymous. Their programs are very effective when done correctly, and when the person has a desire to quit. While they can't force someone to use the program (it is a personal thing) the other members are very supportive and may be able to help him see some of the issues in his behavior.
I would also recommend that you and your husband see if you can find an Al-Anon meeting in your area. (http://www.al-anonfamilygroups.org/meetings/meeting.html) It's a good opportunity to talk to other people in your situation, and may help you find a way to assist your son.
2007-12-05 05:21:25 · answer #4 · answered by newmom1107 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is probably and alcoholic, or he is trying to self medicate a mental condition such as depression.
AA is a decent program, but he probably needs therapy and meds.
There may be other programs in your area, for treatment of alcoholism. Call 1-800-784-6776 It is the National Alcohol and Substance Abuse Information Center.
2007-12-05 05:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remorse is not more powerful than an addictive habit. When a person is addicted to alcohol, everything and everyone else takes backseat. He only has the power left to indulge his habit and nothing more.
Pls find help for ur son....... and fast !!
Take him to a de-addiction rehab and then get some psychotherapy sessions, before someone gets really hurt.
2007-12-05 05:16:09 · answer #6 · answered by P10 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you sat him down and spoken to him regarding how tough it can actually be trying to come back to normality and to a life of reality?. I feel sorry for you as you have got one big battle ahead of you, along with the frustration. Just remember for what its worth, your sons not the only one as alcohol has affected many young teenagers of today.
2007-12-05 05:24:15 · answer #7 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Violent alcoholic. Contact a psychiatric hospital to try to find some resources for help.
2007-12-05 05:16:50 · answer #8 · answered by rene1695 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is an alcoholic and absuive one when he is drunk. He think's that he is 21 and the legal age to drink is 21 so he is living it up. GET HIM HELP NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Before he decide's to hurt someone else...
2007-12-05 06:12:19 · answer #9 · answered by imtheonenobodylikes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An alcoholic, do this for him, before you drain all of your money from bailing your son out of jail.
Get him into an AA meeting ASAP!!!!!!
2007-12-05 06:39:28 · answer #10 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋