I'm still single, but I find it interesting that many of my friends/family are in relationships which one person (usually the man) "loves the other more." Unfortunately I see lots of problems, arguments which end in unhappy unions or divorce.
But I've seen couples - not many - which both the man and woman are totally infatuated with each other, hardly have problems, etc... even 40 yrs after being married.
Many of you may disagree with me, but do you believe most couples out there "settle" once they think that's it? Or were you able to find the love of your life? (and if so, how is it now?)
2007-12-04 18:13:08 · 13 answers · asked by two_design_kitties 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was engaged to a guy who I'd been dating for 2 years with and did love. In the back of my mind was this nagging feeling that although things were okay, they just weren't the "wow" that I had hoped for. The sparkle in our relationship faded after about 6 months, and the last year and a half had been more of a contentment with one another, a friendship where we also got intimate. As the wedding approached, I kept telling myself that the uncertainity was normal and that was what a relationship was... something that is okay that you can work on and stay with the person, even if its not out of this world amazing.
About two months before we were to get married, I really started second guessing more. After a fight where I realized the things I treasured most about myself were only half valued by my fiance, I decided to call off the wedding and the relationship. The following year after, I kept wondering if I'd made a mistake as I dated different people that I was less compatable with.
But then almost a year to the time I left my fiance, I met the most amazing person. Within the first month of dating, I knew it was the most wonderful, intense relationship I'd ever had. I kept crossing my fingers and hoping it'd last, and not just be a relationship that fizzled out in the end. At 6 months together, I knew he was the man I wanted to marry. I hadn't even felt that certainity after two years with my previous fiance. We got married after a year and three months of dating. Now, we've been together for 3 1/2 years. We're both still crazily madly in love with one another. I don't think he's the perfect person, and we don't agree or mesh on EVERYTHING in life, but I don't think thats what makes a perfect love. But I wake up every single morning and look over at him and feel this flutter in my heart and feel amazed that I am so lucky.
Sorry about the rambling. I guess I'm going on because I'm trying to say that you can find a mate that would "work" but might not be "the it person." Sometimes, if you take the chance to let go of Mr. Safe Zone, even though there technically isn't anything wrong with him, you can come across the person who will knock you off your feet day after day.
2007-12-04 19:02:44 · answer #1 · answered by Sonya 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a combination of the two. There is no true love of your life out there without a bit of settling being involved. You're going to have to give up something somewhere, no matter what. Just like he has to give up something as well. You sort of go into it knowing that and it's not such a bad thing. I think the problem with society today is that we're all told that we shouldn't have to settle, and therefore when the right man comes along, we tend to shrug him off because he's not perfect. But there is no perfect man out there.
2007-12-04 18:18:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The term settle connotes contentment. Some really do not marry ready for the marriage and they lose the romance in a few years. Marriage and staying married is a choice to love the other person no matter what. But sometimes its hard to make that choice if the other party is not cooperative or willing to make the same commitment.
2007-12-04 18:18:04 · answer #3 · answered by Equinox 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I did not settle, but waited a long time to find the love of my life. It was a long hard wait, but worth it. We've been married 8 years, and all things are better now then ever.
I agree that most couples settle.
2007-12-04 19:07:10 · answer #4 · answered by Chris 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I found the love of my life. I know quite a few people that did settle. Some are divorced and the others are miserable everyday of their lives. I refused to settle. It is better to be alone than to be miserable with someone.
2007-12-04 19:47:24 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I found the love of my life, we were 15 and 16 when we met in the 8 years we've been together we've maybe been apart 20 days and if he hadn't had to travel for work it would be 0.
If anyone settled it would be him though. I couldn't be happier!
2007-12-04 18:21:33 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that finding the love of your life is a matter of waiting one or two years longer than you would have.
Oh, and if you happen to find them in the same area that you've been in all your life, obviously they aren't the love of your life. One would imagine that you would really have to travel the entire world and meet everybody.
Sure you can find someone you are slightly more attracted to than another, but that's just a really small difference.
2007-12-04 18:19:46 · answer #7 · answered by perfectlybaked 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-02 06:37:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I settled the first time, but this time I have found the love of my life, and I am certain he feels the same
2007-12-04 18:20:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did find the love of my life. he was no mr. "perfect" and most of my friends did think i was settling, but i found that my man was sweet and loyal and loving and was the missing piece that I had been searching for all my life and in the end i think he was mr. "perfect for me".
2007-12-04 19:57:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋