I am 20 years old and currently 3 months pregnant and my boyfriend is 25. My whole thing right now is that we're in a great relationship and love each but I seriously want to get married before the baby is born in may. My question is should I press the issue of marriage on him, or should I just wait and see what happens? I don't know if by me asking him why don't we get married would put any negative pressure on it?
2007-12-04 16:59:11 · 14 answers · asked by Noodles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just because your relationship is great now doesn't mean it will stay great because you are having his baby.
Getting married because you are carrying his child is not a good enough reason to get married.Deal with things one at a time.
You are 3 months pregnant.Enjoy your pregnancy-plan for your baby.
I would suggest waiting until your baby is at least a year old before you throw the prospect of marriage out there.It is not the 1950's where being pregnant meant you had to get married.Marriage changes people, babies change people.You need to make sure that he can handle being a father before you decide that he can handle being a husband.
A lot of people believe that being married will make them happy, and then they get married and think that having a baby will make them happy and keep them together forever, The truth is getting married puts a lot of pressure on you.Especially when you are so young.[I am 20 years old and married, no kids.] You may think you know what it's like but once you are married it's something completely different.And it's something you need to go into with a clear head and an open heart.Being a parent is also something that puts a lot of pressure on both parties.It's a stressful time.
Why would you want to juggle being a mother and a newlywed at the same time?
I'm barely juggling being a wife and that in itself is consuming all of me.I have been married for almost a year and even now I haven't figured it all out.Things change when your living together, things change when your actions not only affect you anymore but two people or in your case 3.
Talk to him and tell him that you would eventually like to get married and be a family.But make sure to tell him that at the very least you would like to wait until your baby is 1.Depending on how he reacts.[If he doesn't want to wait or if he doesn't think you should be married] I would consider my options.
2007-12-04 17:19:50 · answer #1 · answered by greenkittiekat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, don't be forced into a marriage you will be uncomfortable with. It will make everything worse, not better. She is probably scared that you will leave her alone with the baby while you can go find someone else to date since there's no legal bond between you other than custody. She needs to understand what you want and how you feel. She can't get her way because she said so. She can get her way if she complies with what you want done before any serious commitment. Probably having a baby out of wedlock shames her to some degree depending on how she was brought up. Being pregnant should not! be an open door to marriage when obviously she can't be stable while she's dating you. Updated: Okay, so she's willing to move on so quickly, yet wants to be engaged so badly? How can a mother move on just with a snap away from the baby's father when he didn't do anything wrong if the baby is in fact not his.
2016-05-28 06:14:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bit of advice sweetheart , I proposed to BOTH my husband's , I had 3 kid's with my 1st husband a house , car the works and he was draggin his feet , 2nd husband I proposed because we had a 8 month old and I believed he deserved to have married parents .
Dont force him into something by stealing his manhood and taking the job of the proposal into your own hands.Wait until the baby is born and your more financial and settled and then if he doesnt marry you by the time the baby is 2 you have your answer.Dont have anymore kids they dont make a man feel the need to marry anymore then the 1st born.
This is why women should really keep the cow locked up and let the fun go to a certain length before marriage.
2007-12-04 18:18:11 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you let yourself get pregnant at 20 your just a baby yourself,sure i know you don't think you are. Getting pregnant and pressuring a guy to marry you never ever last long. Your boyfriend will start resenting you maybe not now but he will and i hope you remember that someone here tried to warn you.against doing that. If you don't want that to happen then don't mention anything about marriage.If he wants to marry you because he loves you that's one thing but if he marries you just for the sake of the baby you two won't make it.
2007-12-04 17:31:21 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should push the issue to get married, he might not be ready and is adjusting to the fact that there is a child on the way. You wouldn't want him to get married out of just obligation, but because you love each other and it is right for you both.
2007-12-04 17:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by PurplePeace 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The man should want to marry you.I would tell him (If you really think he is the right guy) that I want to get married and my child have his name by law. If he won't do this, leave him but make sure he pays child support. He doesn't owe you anything but he does owe this child a good life and you owe it a respectable one. I know things are different with people now but the Holy Bible is the same. Look at him good though, if you have to "make him" marry you, he isn't worth it. It would always be thrown up in your face and probably in the child's too.Good luck with everything and congratulations on your baby.
2007-12-04 17:12:57 · answer #6 · answered by Ava 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is not a time to not be honest.
You can tell him just what you did us; you would like to be married.
You don't need to push him, or threaten him, just tell him you would rather it be that way.
If he refuses, then as much as you think this is mean, I agree with the above post - you should give the child up for adoption, because if this guy doesn't want to marry you, then I can tell you now, he's not going to be much of a father either.
You need to think about the child over the desires of both you and this guy.
You both would feel guilty doing this, but you need to forget about that. It's not worth giving this kid a bum for a dad, just because you're afraid of what people would say if you gave the kid up for adoption.
Guys generally get WORSE later in these situations, not BETTER.
(I'm a guy, by the way...)
2007-12-04 17:07:00 · answer #7 · answered by dork 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you guys are in love and expecting a baby and both of you are happy about it, Why Would You Not Get Married????? Of course you should, be happy and enjoy this wonderful baby!! Good Luck! and he shouldn't feel any negative pressure, he's going to be a Daddy!!
2007-12-04 17:09:49 · answer #8 · answered by sandy t 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love each other, get married. But if you will get married only because you are pregnant, don't. Are you financially and emotionally ready to get married? Married life has many complications. One must be ready before entering a married life.
2007-12-04 17:13:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should throw it out there.. I mean why not you haveing a child with him anyway so your practically married already... Why would you want to walk down the isle with a big fat belly anyway.. wait till afta the baby is born then get married just for great photo's sake
2007-12-04 17:02:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋