Okay me and my husband have been together for 8 years and married 2, I stoped haveing sex because it's just not good to me anymore, and feel it's a waste of my time to have sex if I'm not even into it. My husband told me he would leave me beacuse were not having sex..married men and women what do you think about this?
2007-12-04 16:51:19 · 27 answers · asked by Sunshine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay in addition..I believe I feel this way because he talks about me like I'm fat..then the next day he buys me flowers and thinks everything is okay..well it's not and emotionally I have left this marriage..and honestly I'm not happy with him
2007-12-04 17:06:57 · update #1
Ok? Did you not hear her? She says he treats her like she is fat! How is she supposed to want to do anything? Hun, my question to u is do you have kids with him? If so, I'd say try for a little bit. If not, I'd say PEACE! lol It isn't your fault. Sometimes things just don't work out and if you aren't even emotionally into it you don't need to be there. I'm sure your an awesome person who doesn't need someone who makes them feel less than perfect.
2007-12-04 17:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is more than sex, but that plays a big role. Maybe you could learn to be intimate in other ways. Just talk with the lights out and hold each other, have dinner, turn the TV off...this might spark some of those old feelings. Another thing, have you looked at why you don't like having sex? It sounds like it goes deeper than a change in preference. I know when I am stressed out or feeling all hormonal, I don't enjoy it. Emotions play a huge and sometimes negative part in a woman's sex drive.
2007-12-04 17:15:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you aren't into sex that is a serious problem. Your marriage will end because of it. Men connect with women on a more physical level and sex gives them that. He's not just screwing you, he's showing you he loves you. Men can separate sex from love but when they love you they feel they are showing you through sex. You need to see a doctor. You may have a hormone imbalance or something that can and needs to be fixed with a little medication. Is it that you are out of love with him? Are you angry at him for anything, you know holding a grudge? If you aren't into him enough anymore to have sex, maybe you have left the relationship emotionally. Women connect on an emotional level and if you are unhappy it will kill your sexual desire. Check your head and heart. If the problem is not there, go to the doctor. I bet they can help. They do make a female Viagra you know.
2007-12-04 17:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by Amy J 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think that Divorce is where you are heading unless you try a little harder to satisfy your mate. The big question is....why? Why does it not feel good to you anymore?
Maybe counselling....? Sex, often initiates in your thoughts, feelings. Something has changed that for you ....
Maybe you can go back to what initially turned you on with your husband?
There are many other factors necessary in a good relationship, but intimacy and sex is a "cementing" factor and without it, it will feel very empty to the partner that is wanting and not receiving it. Think of his feelings and try to fix what changed those feelings within you.
What you have at this point is not a healty relationship.
2007-12-04 17:02:01 · answer #4 · answered by Lady 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Is it sex or something deeper wrong with your marriage? Usually sex is more a physical act for men, but women it is more an emotional act. If you just have no sex drive, could it be medical. Some medications cause this side effect, as well as, hormone imbalances. Talk to your doctor.
I got really busy with kids, in-laws and work and felt too tired for sex alot of times. Too much effort. My husband didn't communicate with me, he cheated. So, at least your husband is letting you know it is a problem. You need to try to get to the bottom of the problem or yes it will probably lead to divorce or cheating.
If you are too tired, talk to your husband abour reducing your load. Communicate openly with him, if you want to protect your marriage.
Good luck.
2007-12-04 17:06:30 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Men and women generally need the intimacy to maintain their relationships. I haven't slept with my husband in two years, but that doesn't mean that I don't take 'care' of him. It has helped me to find the reason that I was no longer interested in sex. Sometimes there are physical problems and sometimes psychological problems. You may want to consider speaking to your ob/gyn or family doctor. I found that I had a physical issue that needed to be medicated to improve my life in general. If it is your enjoyment that is lacking, tell your husband something that you would like to do or try. Talking about it helps most, and you should try talking to him. If you don't feel comfortable, try talking to a trusted girl friend first to get some ideas. Good luck.
2007-12-04 17:03:29 · answer #6 · answered by me too 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Most men do feel they have to have the sex to be happy. Even though sex isn't everything, it does have to be present for a healthy marriage! If he doesn't get it from you, most of the time, they will seek it somewhere else. If you are into having an open relationship...lol, I guess its okay. You might want to go see a doctor about a hormone imbalance. This causes alot of women to loose their sex drive.
2007-12-04 17:02:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Are you religious? (Christian)
If yes, read 1 Corinthians 7 about marriage.....
A marriage is a partnership and sex is a big part of marriage.....especially for a man.
It's not uncommon for some women to not feel as excited in bed as they once did. I had this problem before in my marriage and I realized that my lack of excitement for my husband was my own fault in some ways....
When we are dating someone we spe,nd alot of time thinking about that person......thinking good exciting things.....after some time we do this less and then it's not as exciting....
I made an effort to really think about all the wonderful things I love about my husband more often than I was. I found the more I thought good thoughts the more I felt "in love" with him....which made me more excited in bed.
Focus on what you want the outcome to be.....and it will help you get there.
Good luck!
2007-12-04 17:09:35 · answer #8 · answered by Dorigurl 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sex is the tie that bind the spouses. This is the way on how you express your feelings towards your partner. It is your obligation under the law to have sexual intercourse to your husband. It is a different story if you are suffering from any illness and that illness is the cause for not having sex with your hubby. But if you just don't feel doing it, then, something is wrong with you. Consult an expert.
2007-12-04 17:06:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you have other issues in your marriage that is keeping you uninterested in your husband.
The question is do you want your marriage to continue? If you do you owe it to your husband to be intimate with him it is not fair you cut off a part off a very important part of your marriage. He has every right to be upset about that.
You need to sit him down and go over the grievances you have with him and tell him how you expect the two of you to resolve those problems.
I would say about 99% and 1/2 men expect sex in their marriages with their wife and vice versa. Do not use sex as a punishment for him. You need to keep that separate.
I assure you there are a lot of women who are having sex with their husbands even when they are not in the mood. But he needs to do things for you he does not particularly want to do also. I suggest better communication between the two of you don't shut down this will resolve nothing.
If you think your marriage is worth fighting for then do what it takes to make that happen.
Keep in mind I did not say he gets to be abusive to you. Talk this one out good luck
2007-12-04 17:03:48 · answer #10 · answered by mdjgirl7 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋