My husband is cute and friendly. I love him but sometimes he hurts me in ways he doesn’t understand. We have been married for 20 years with three fine boys. The problem is he has been caught with other woman in ways I don't like. Women are coming on to him when I happen to be there. The thing is I am not there that much to check up on him at his work and other places he goes. For how many times I do, (20 years), I have seen things that would make most women leave. One time my husband was in a sexual position with another, and for about all the times I have visited him there was a woman in his office making the move. The thing is I know he is the instigator. He said he is just a friendly person and I know that because he has had a lot of woman all over him. Just about wherever he goes he will meet woman. He has told me a few of these ladies’ stories and what they wanted to do to him!!
2007-12-04 16:22:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Years ago I caught him with his old girlfriend (not sexually but it sure wasn't good) and she told me he instigated the arrangement I just don’t think he has loyalty and love for our marriage. I love him but the trust has slipped away. Ladies what should I do??????
2007-12-04 16:24:17 · update #1
There is no way I could put up with that. Sounds like to me he has found out just how much he can run over you. You need to stand your ground. Then again this is your marriage and your life. I just don't think I could deal with seeing my husband with so many girls and in sexual ways. Good Luck! I hope you guys can work it out.
2007-12-04 16:33:29 · answer #1 · answered by *Mommy of 3* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
20 years is a very long time....my parents where together for 25 and my mom treated my dad like crap....but love is blind after awhile my dad started to see her for what she really was and that was a cheat and a selfish person who was all about her own needs and not the needs of the family....It sounds like your husband is very much the same....He sounds like a very selfish man who cant keep his damn hand out of the cookie jar....you seem like you are a wonderful wife who is just blinded by love...but i think it is time to wake up and smell the roses and get out before another 20 years passes you by....you can find someone who wants to come home to you and only you everyday and night...and you deserve that everybody does....dont you think you deserve that??? Your husband doesnt need to change because you are allowing him to do this to you....stand up for yourself let him know that you will not take this....serve him papers and move on with you life.....remember you have done nothing wrong in this marriage its him and his actions...good luck to you....i hope you realize you are worth being truly loved...
2007-12-05 00:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by shawncrystal8804 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you asked women only and I am not. Communication is important. Does he know this hurts you (as anyone should realize)? Or does he do this to work you up -- to tell you he is "hot stuff" (which he shouldn't be doing.) 20 years and 3 boys. He needs to set an example for his boys.
Like an earlier answer, you should seek family counseling. If he is unwilling to do that, it should be the final straw. Your boys need to be taught what good husnbands do not do. It is very difficult. Good luck to you.
2007-12-05 00:41:54 · answer #3 · answered by Kitiany 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mere male who has been caught in similar positions, though still inherrantly inocent of any wrong doing (as I would never cheat, I'm a good communicator and would end it with my wife if I felt the need to get it somewhere else), if you have conserns like this, you need to talk to him about it.
Ultimately, you are being effected by this, whatever it is, you need to discuss it!
2007-12-05 00:50:51 · answer #4 · answered by Judo Chop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should have left him LONG ago. U deserve better, theres nothing wrong with leaving him. Have you seen 'How to make an american quilt'? He sounds like the artist guy off of that. But in the end I couldn't believe she stayed with him. YOU don't have to. U have a right to respect and whhat he does is NOT respectful.
2007-12-05 01:17:57 · answer #5 · answered by Renesme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know whether to slap you or admire you for putting it up for so long....I'd have been gone as soon as he did it twice. One time, I'd forgive IF he was truly sorry, but to continue on and on, he would not be with me, or the kids. They deserve a better role model. And you need some self-respect. Get help and get out.
2007-12-05 00:56:58 · answer #6 · answered by Linni 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If we won';t go for marriage counselling with you to discuss his behaviour - or go for counselling on his own, I am not sure you'll have much of a marriage left. No trust, no communication... can't be good.
tough choices... you will know in your gut what you need to do!
good luck
2007-12-05 00:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by teritaur 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would have left him long ago. These are only the things that you know about. What is going on that you do not know about? He continues to do it because you continue to put up with it.
2007-12-05 00:27:16 · answer #8 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, without trust, you have nothing! It's the basis of marriage. Communication and trust.
2007-12-05 00:27:40 · answer #9 · answered by darlin 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i know that it is harder to do than say.. but leave him you've already spent 20 years of your life why waste another 20.. you deserve better than to continue to be disprespected .. i honestly hope things work out... good luck
2007-12-05 00:35:39 · answer #10 · answered by kmd110685 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋