I am pregnant and due in about a month. I am very self conscious about my body. How do I deal with the birth?

Question

Do any women feel the same way as me? I was not brought up in a family where we were told to feel confortable with our bodies. I have never really let anyone other than my husband see my body. I'm worried about people looking at me between my legs while I'm giving birth. I know it sounds silly and I should just care for the baby's health but this is also causing major anxiety for me. My family and friends have already told me they can't wait to tape the birth. I can't say no to that because I don't want to seem like a miserable *****. How do I deal with it? Any other women feel or felt the same way?

Do a lot of women defecate while pushing?

Answer 1

just dont allow anyone accept the delivery dr and your husband in the room.

Answer 2

I used to be the same way about people seeing my body. Here is my story: I had always wanted an all natural birth up until the last leg of my pregnancy when I started getting what I call my 'final' contractions then it was either push or give me meds, your body will make you push.. Unfortunately, by the time I was able to get to the hospital I was 8 centimeters and they couldn't give me anything because my water also hadn't broken. The point is if you are like me when the time comes you won't care all you will care about is your baby and making the pain stop. The faster it all happens by the way the sooner the pain will stop. The only hard part about natural birth to me is those contractions leading up to the birth. You may get lucky and be able to have meds and have the time to think things over. And do not let people tape the birth if you are not comfortable this is not about them it's about you, your baby and your husband. This is your special time more so then anyone elses and do not let anyone tell you different. I was so grateful just having my husband there with me, that is all I needed. I would not have a **** load of family members in there with me and I made sure there wasn't at all. You will not be being a miserable b*tch what so ever. Don't be so hard on yourself either. You are going to be a mommy soon! Just focus on that and the rest will come with time. Good luck! I hope it's as magical as mine was and when you look into your babies eyes you will know that those 9 months were worth every day.

Answer 3

When you are having a baby if you do not want it video taped then tell your family no. I did before. Then when we wanted to , most hospitals do not allow it anymore due to potential lawsuits if there is a problem.
You can wear a hospital gown giving birth and keep your upper part covered. The doc and nurses look at your vagina in a medical way not a sexual way when a baby is coming out. Don't invite the whole family in while giving birth and if you do have some come in tell em you would prefer they are up by your head and not bottom . Its not unreasonable to ask for some respect of your wishes when in labor. You will do fine.

Answer 4

the doctor's will not care what's going on down there except to get your baby out. it's not a sexual thing so don't worry!
regarding the taping, tell them straight-up, you don't want it being taped. it's your body and you're delivering, you have the most say in it.
i felt self-conscious about pooping on the table but once i got over the fact that a lot of women do it and no one takes any notice, i felt a lot more comfortable. i didn't end up doing it but it was nice to know the nurses and doctor wouldn't be disgusted if it did.

edit. you asked about defecating and if a lot of women do it? it's no uncommon for it to happen because you're using the same muscles to push your baby out as you would if you were constipated. i had a bowel movement about 8 hours before i gave birth and i didn't end up pooping. but even if you do, the nurses will wipe it up so quick, it won't even cross your mind. these people have done this so many times before. nothing will shock them. it's normal for you to feel like this.

Answer 5

It doesn't sound silly at all, I was pretty freaked out about it too, until I actually went into labor and everything happened so fast I barely had time to notice who was running in and out of the room or looking between my legs, let alone time to be embarrassed about it.
Well, there's no way I'd be cool with having my family tape that. But as far as being embarrassed, limit the people in the room with you to your husband and mom (or whoever you feel really comfortable with), and don't worry about the medical staff, if you're 8 months pregnant I'm sure you've already been poked and prodded plenty of times.
And if you have a natural birth (I did), when it comes time to push you're not going to care who's looking, they could wheel you spread-eagle down the hall and through the streets and you would barely notice, you'll be so focused on pushing, everything else won't matter.
As far as the pooping issue, I freaked out about that too, It didn't happen with my son and I'm keeping my fingers crossed it doesn't happen with my daughter. But it's very very common, and there's really no way to stop it, so just try to relax.

Answer 6

I've heard a lot of women defecate while pushing, but I don't think I did. Then again, they said you don't even notice and no one says anything, so who knows. It's just not a big deal to them, and is considered normal.

I flat out REFUSED to let anyone take pictures or videotape the actual birth. I allowed my husband to take pictures of my son and me right after he was born, but no between the legs shots and no graphic shots.

The only people in the room with me were my doula, my husband and the doctors.

You need to stand up and tell your friends and family you don't feel comfortable with them in the room, or videotaping and watching YOUR birth, and they need to respect that.

I am very modest when it comes to that sort of thing. I don't even pee with the door open after years of marriage because I don't want my husband to see me, LOL.
No one will think you are a miserable *****.

You're going to be uncomfortable enough while in labor, you don't need all this other stuff making you even MORE uncomfortable. See if your husband will back you up.

Answer 7

Its not uncommon, i feel the same way. I'm 7 months along with my second preg (i lost my first in a mc and during the exam for a D&C i was really uncomfortable). if u feel uncomfortable with someone taping the delivery-tell them no, its an experience that you, your husband and your baby share. here's what i had to tell my man-no one (not even the doctor or nurses) can keep wandering in and out of my room-i feel that each time the door is open, while i was "delivering" i felt that people were looking in (paranoid, i know). plus i already know the people that are going to be in the room with me personally so its no strangers. giving birth to a baby is hard enough on a womans body-she does not need to be put into a situation she is not comfortable with while giving birth.

Answer 8

Trust me when you start really feeling the pain from labor, you won't even remember or know that you are naked.

I could have cared less who was in the room. I don't think I even noticed.
Half the time my eyes were closed, because the pain was so intense.
Now about video taping, I taped one of my births, the daddy was over seas and he wanted to see it when he got home.

So, while I was delivering like I said I didn't notice, but I hate seeing that video today. Not because of my body but, because I was in so much pain and sounded like an idiot.

I am due in 2 days now and the daddy wanted to video again,
when we asked the hospital they said no. Because of being sued they don't allow that anymore.
So, maybe call your hospital and ask and if it is no, then you'll have a sure fire way out of it.
Otherwise, it is your birth experience, your body, your baby.
and once people get around the new baby they'll be so excited that they'll forget all about wanting to video tape it.

Good luck. and congrats

Answer 9

Most of these are completely right. You are not going to care who sticks their head down there. They are definately not looking at you in any sort of sexual manner at all. (your husband won't be either! ha ha) I thought the same as you but I let my best friend come in with me & my husband and she assured me that she was going to stay at my head for support only. By the end she was practically shoving the doctors out of the way becuase they were obstructing her view! She ended up being a huge help for me and I am proud of sharing this experience with her. I insisted on not video taping my first child's birth and I regretted it and with my second, the video camera failed on me. I was so disappointed. I really had no intentions of ever watching the video, but wanted it to be there in case I ever wanted to. I really wish I had now. If I were you I would video tape it and just make sure you take the tape and tuck it away somewhere like a hope chest or somewhere just in case you ever change your mind. If you let them tape, you won't be sorry in the long run. Good luck.

Answer 10

I feel/ felt the same way. I kept a sheet draped over me while I was in labor! I would tell your family and friends to skip the taping of birth. Just say you want your husband in there with you-- actually some hospitals won't allow a bunch of people in there with a camera.
It's your birth, speak up for yourself. Also, it is so intense that you'll be preoccupied with other things. I feel the SAME as you though. I change my clothes in the bathroom. :o)
Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 11

You have every right to make sure the camera is behind your shoulder during the birth. No one should make you feel uncomfortable.

I have two children and I hated anyone looking in that area as well. I certainly would not have allowed anyone to tape it. It is my body and my birth and no one has the right (not even your husband) to push their wants and wills on the birth of my child.

Do what you want and feels right for you. You will never be in a more vulnerable position and those around you should recognize that.