Pregnany co-worker lost baby?

Question

She and I both pregnant, I'm 36 weeks, she was two weeks behind me.. Last week she lost her baby.. She and I aren't close since I started w/ this company recently, but I'm burdened w/ a lot of guilt. I don't know how to approach her when she returns, what to say.. so forth.. And, if I happen to go on my maternity leave before she comes back.. I still am not going to know what to say when I get back and see her again even though time has passed..

Answer 1

You send her a card or leave one on her desk that just says sorry for your loss and sign your name. No need to dwell on it, particularly when you weren't close to begin with. It's not your fault she lost her baby--it happened for a reason. You act as you'd act before the baby was lost--she isn't going to want people to dwell on it.

Answer 2

Wow! I couldn't imagine losing my baby that far along. Do you know what happened with her pregnancy?! It is kind of scary knowing that women loss babies this late in pregnancy! I have a cousin that had a still born last year, and TODAY gave birth to a healthy 8 pound 5oz 24 inch baby!!! It will work out for her in the long run, she just needs time!

This is kind of a hard one!! If I were you, I would let her approach me when she is ready. There is nothing you can do besides be there for her. No matter what it will be hard for her to come back to work and still see you pregnant, or know that you have a healthy baby at home. But like I said there is nothing you can do about this. It is not your fault, everything happens for a reason, and she shouldn't take anything out on you, but may!! So be aware of that!!

Just let her come back around to talking to you!!!

Good Luck, and good luck on the baby also!!!

Answer 3

I've been on her side of things before. I lost a baby and just 2 weeks later my sister found out she was pregnant. It's not right, but I couldn't help but be upset at ANYONE who was pregnant because I had lost my own baby. Sometimes I didn't want to talk about it, and other times it's all I wanted to talk about. Sometimes I'd just cry. Even to this day I cry sometimes thinking about it.
She's probably going to be very emotional about it. Just try to be there for her. Avoid saying things like, "If it was meant to be..blah blah.." or "These things happen."
Just tell her you are sorry for her loss, and let her know if there's anything you can do for her you are there for her. Don't be offended if she gets upset or emotional even if you're trying to be nice. This is a rough time for her.
Good luck.

Answer 4

so sad :( i would probably feel the same way...but all you can do is be sympathetic to the whole situation, only time can heal...it really makes you appreciate things in a different light sometimes? you might want to check out the book by Jennifer Weiner "Little Earthquakes" it might help out in your situation, dealing with your own pregnancy and with someone who has lost their own child...

"First comes love. Then comes marriage. And then things start to get really interesting...In Good in Bed, Cannie Shapiro conquered public heartbreak and shaky self-esteem. In In Her Shoes, Rose and Maggie Feller learned about family secrets and the ties that bind. Now, in Jennifer Weiner's richest, wittiest, most true-to-life novel yet, this highly acclaimed storyteller brings readers a tale of romance, friendship, forgiveness, and extreme sleep deprivation, as three very different women navigate one of life's most wonderful and perilous transitions: the journey of new motherhood.Rebecca Rothstein-Rabinowitz is a plump, sexy chef who has a wonderful husband, supportive friends, a restaurant that's received citywide acclaim, a beautiful baby girl...and the mother-in-law from hell.Kelly Day's life looks picture-perfect. But behind the doors of her largely empty apartment, she's struggling to balance work and motherhood and marriage, while entering Oliver's every move (and movement) on a spreadsheet, and dealing with an unemployed husband who seems content to channel-surf for eight hours a day.And Ayinde Towne is already on shaky ground, trying to live her life to the letter of a how-to guide called Baby Success, when her basketball superstar husband breaks her trust at the most vulnerable moment in her life, putting their marriage in peril -- and their new family even more in the public eye.Then there's Lia Frederick, a Philadelphia native who has just come home, leaving Los Angeles behind, along with her glamorous Hollywood career, her husband, and a tragic secret, to start her life all over again.With her trademark warmth and humor, Weiner tells the story of what happens after happily ever after...and how an eight-pound bundle of joy can shake up every woman's sense of herself in the world around her.From prenatal yoga to postbirth sex, from sisters and husbands to mothers and mothers-in-law, Little Earthquakes is a frank, funny, fiercely perceptive Diaper Genie-eye view of the comedies and tragedies of love and marriage."

Answer 5

That's horrible. I understand your feelings of guilt, but of course you have nothing to feel guilty about. All you have to say is you're sorry for her loss. Then, take cues from her whether she wants to talk about it. She might find it difficult to talk to you too much, since she'll inevitably be reminded of her lost baby. It's such a tough situation.

Answer 6

This happened with a couple of women in my office. The woman who miscarried refused to talk about it with anyone, and had another co-worker she was close with spread the word to everyone not to bring it up. That was almost two years ago, and she still won't talk about it. She's actually had another miscarriage since, and she gets upset when people bring their children in. I would suggest you don't bring it up at all, and make sure out of respect you don't talk about your new baby around her.

Answer 7

Just tell her you are sorry. Don't feel guilty you didn't cause her baby to die. Believe me she isn't looking forward to coming back to work and she will try to avoid you as much as possible.