Can anyone help my relationship problem??? I NEED OPINIONS!!!?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year and a half... and honestly, I have loved this guy since the day i met him when i was 14 years old. (I'm 19) Our personalities clash and we fight A LOT. His temper makes him say hurtful things and my temper makes me try to break up with him. He ALWAYS fought me on breaking up and did whatever he could to change my mind and make me give him yet another chance to make everything ok. Recently, we got into a heated argument and I suggested that we break up and for the first time ever, he didn't fight me on it and became this cold-hearted jerk that I don't even know anymore. I'll be honest with you, I have a pretty big pride issue and have a really hard time admitting when I'm wrong and apologizing and last night I poured my heart out and apologized for everything I've done and my mood swings. And he was being so mean and cold. And now he wants to not talk at all (except text once in a while) until the 20th to think and cool off. What now? =(

Answer 1

First thing you both could consider is learning to count to 20 in your mind before you ever open your mouth and make comments to each other. It would help to stop and take a little time OUT before saying something mean, and 20 seconds gives you time to opt out of saying something totally dumb.

Secondly, you two need to learn to compromise.

Next, you might realize that all the screaming and arguing and acting foolish hasn't made your lives nicer.. it's just made them miserable.

You can love the guy to death, but sometimes love does not necessarily mean a relationship is going to work.

You both seem to have bad communication skills, and loose tempers.. maybe you could talk to a couples counselor? You are young, and i'm sure you could find some sort of direction and change for the better now, in preparation for the future. People don't put up with this sort of behavior in "the real world"....

take care and happy holidays

Answer 2

Hello, I am sort of in the same situation with my b/f, but if you guys have been doing this for a while, you can clearly tell that it is not doing to stop. He may have possiblely gotten tired of a cat and mouse game, where it is on and off, or you never know you could just give him a little space, but not too much. Just show him that you still care and you have not forgot about it, because he may just like it on his own. So be careful, but no relationship is perfect. Honestly sometimes I feel I wish I were single, but then again the other half of me still wants to have some one to snuggle up to when i need it. I could possibly just be over, but that should be your last resort. Try talking to him after he has had his"time" and figure out your differences, and see whether either of you can do thing that will change it. If worst comes to worst, just remember you are a strong and independent woman whole doesn't need a man to fulfil your life!
Hope this helps
- Zoe

Answer 3

It seems you 2 have a volatile relationship, and sometimes when we want something to work we try and try and it still won't work that it because you both are totally different people. A relationship should not be based on fighting all the time how are you gonna make it work when you not only argue most of the time but say nasty stuff to each other. In my opinion after reading your Q its best to move on I think you guys have dragged out the 2 year.

I think it's worth keeping if and only when you can say that the 2 years have been mostly happy times and not that many arguments as oposed to more arguments than happy times. Its only fare to allow the both of you to move on and find happiness with other people. Good luck.

Answer 4

You like the attention, you like him fighting you for a relationship and now that he got fed up with all your crap and just pretty much wrote you off, you don't know how to handle it. You sound like a control freak and like to have the upper hand. I'm not saying this to be mean, but you sound like you have psych issues, borderline personality disorder rings a bell to me...... you should get evaluated, because if you do suffer from it, this is how your relationships will always be.


here's an idea... stop dumping him and waiting for him to whine about it... people get sick of the same stupid games over and over...

just because you admitted you were being a brat and apologized doesn't mean you won't do the same things over and over.

and you are mad because you told him you guys should break up and he didn't care.... you were looking for the reaction... and you didn't get it....

now leave him a lone, help yourself or just move on period... but this type of behavior will keep ruing your relationships until you address it.

Answer 5

He is doing the right thing by taking time. You both are only 19 and to fight that much in a relationship should not be happening. There are more things that will require arguing in a relationship but right now, it seems like it's petty teen arguments, just wait until you are in a mature relationship you will see what I mean.

Answer 6

not exactly sure but sounds like he wants to see other people or hes actually fed up of the constant fighting over the past year and a half and cant take anymore, but if he cant find it in his heart to forgive you after you apologized then try confronting him and apologizing if that still doesnt work then hes not really worth having.

relationships are all about forgiveness and understanding

Answer 7

From what you have said, I feel it may be good to take a break from this relationship. It appears you are both pretty self-centered and need to grow up. Maybe time will help to heal the wounds and if he is really the one for you, it will work out. Most young people don't realize the it takes two people who are willing to work on issues, not run away from them.

Answer 8

Well I had a similiar situation so I know how it feels....Honestly it would be best to just go our seperate ways even though it hurts it's better fer you in the long run and the next time you enter a relationship it will be better! I know you prolly won't listen though soo just give it time and cool off till the 20th and try to live your life and maybe try to date other ppl till then.

Answer 9

your 19 years old, theres no need to be in a relationship like this. My advice is to break up. 18 - 25 are probly the best years of your life as far as hanging out with friends and partying, dont be held up by some jerk. go have fun with your girls.

Answer 10

I know you don't want to hear this but it is time to move on he fought you before cuz he didn't want to be alone he's not fighting now cuz he has someone else but he's keeping you hanging on in case this new girl of his doesn't work out believe me I've been it your situation you really need to move on your young still go out and meet new people and in your next relationship don't threaten to leave all the time.