For years, before I met her, I was a terrible porn addict. I got over it, and am today porn-free, but she doesn't know a thing about my terrible past. Should I tell her? At this point, I'm sure she won't leave me for it. But I'm concerned about what she will think of me after I tell her.
2007-12-04 14:15:08 · 18 answers · asked by airforcewolf 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a sexual addiction. It's an addiction like any other addiction. You are ALWAYS a RECOVERING addict, not a former addict. You do need to let anyone you are seriously involved with about your addiction. I'm not sure how it is that you have "got over it," but if it did not involve therapy and a support group, you can so easily return to your old ways. Anything that puts extra stress on you, ie, getting married, all that comes after the wedding, can trigger a relapse.
2007-12-04 15:01:02 · answer #1 · answered by starrrrgazer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Humm, actually I would tell her. More than likely she will respect the fact that you feel comfortable enough to share such a deep secret with her. Also, if for some unknown reason it ever happened (the whole becoming addicted to porn )again you would be able to go to her openly and honestly. If a guy I was engaged to told me about it I wouldn't freak out. Porn is not as taboo as it once was (unless she's seriously religious or overly conservative). I wouldn't even flinch if a guy told me. Be honest with her, do you really want to go into a marriage where you have to hide your past?
2007-12-04 14:27:45 · answer #2 · answered by Holly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My ex-boyfriend who I dated for seven years before we moved in together, told me the day after we signed the lease that he had a porn addiction. We were taking a shower. He was planning to ask me to marry him and he wanted to have everything in the open. If he had not told me I would never had known. During the time we lived together (one year) I never saw much of the porn...just a tape here and there. It didn't bother me in the least.
What did bother me is that money suddenly became a huge issue...another thing I didn't know before is just how much he had...a **** load. Money isn't everything, and I refused to live my life as if it is, so I left. He came back one week later, on bended knee, but I just couldn't say yes. Boy did this question stir up some suppressed memories!
Money does not buy happiness. Maybe porn does.
Tell her. Especially if you think you will relapse.
2007-12-04 16:01:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you need to tell her. if she loves you and you know she won't leave you for it (especially since it's in your past), you need her support. people can relapse into addiction. she can help support you and if she knows, then you can go to her if you ever start to feel that pull again. if she was a recovered alcoholic, would you want to know? would you help her? support her? if yes, then you should be able to expect the same thing from her. an addiction is beyond your control and it's not the individual's fault, really, but they never go away, they just get under control. so tell her and keep your relationship open and honest.
2007-12-04 14:27:46 · answer #4 · answered by hh 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you're relatively naive, if a guy owns a workstation there'll be porn on there, a hundred% possibility of that occuring. exceedingly if he's no longer residing with all people and that's his purely ability of sexual launch. He lied approximately having stopped because of the fact he knew you probably did no longer approve of that and he did no longer opt to pay attention you nagging approximately it for infinite hours or breaking off with him. he will watch it any possibility he gets to : while he's uninterested in no longer something to do ? while he's under pressure and desires to launch stress ? while he's attractive and additionally you're actually not there to have intercourse with ? How frequently are you having intercourse with him ? Do you do the flaws he likes in mattress ? favourite blowj0bs, by using "favourite" I advise is it executed on a daily basis ? in case you maintain him sexually satisfied he will watch porn much less regularly, or in line with possibility quit altogether in case you help him launch a minimum of as quickly as on a daily basis. in case you ever see him staring at porn purely connect him, take his arms and replace them with yours and stroke him till he cumms. i do no longer think of his porn behavior mirror in my opinion off of you. i think of he purely has a much better intercourse force than you and he desires to launch that. in case you do no longer choose him to try this anymore, then fulfill him greater frequently.... why are you being sexually neglectful ?
2016-10-19 05:18:26 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure you do! You're getting married so all the secrets should be out! She needs to love you and accept your past. But anything like a secret you should tell her beforehand. Don't hide yourself. Then there is nothing between you two. Best of luck, hun! :)
2007-12-04 14:19:36 · answer #6 · answered by rachelchristine14 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When you tell her, tell her that you provided your own cure. Tell her that you watch yourself masturbate in the mirror now so you are your own porn star. Then, ask her if she wants your autograph. My answer made about as much sense as you question. Didn't it?
2007-12-04 14:22:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
YEs u should. Later on in life u will be glad that u did.
2007-12-04 16:15:58 · answer #8 · answered by christina m 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are over it now so what is the point of telling her??!! It is your past, it is not her future to know about it.
2007-12-04 14:18:35 · answer #9 · answered by Alora 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why do you want to tell her?
I think you might want to discuss this issue with your psychologist.
I think it's wonderful that you have overcome this problem. I wish you a wonderful and happy life.
2007-12-04 14:17:54 · answer #10 · answered by drshorty 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋