How to "de-friend" someone?

Question

Ok, so there's a couple people that don't seem to get the hint that I don't want to talk to them anymore. They call but I never answer nor do I call back. Every time I see one of them in
passing I say that I'm busy with school. Most of the time, it's not a total lie...I really am busy. Sometimes. Every time that I hung out with them, it felt like there was this huge vacuum in the room and my soul was somehow being sucked out of me. We're just too different and I'm exhausted after hanging out with them.

Friendships shouldn't have to feel obligatory and like a drag...how should I tell them that I don't want to hang out anymore? Should I keep ignoring them?

Answer 1

Hello sweetie yes it would be better to just say the words that for a while you just want to concentrate on studies and getting yourself together that you have some personal issues you need to deal with and you are not going to be hanging out for a while and thanks guys for understanding. You are doing the right thing you know, being with friends are suppose to be happy and exciting not that morbid feeling you have. If we all listened to that inner voice that kind of warns us about something we would all be better off. you are going to be fine in life because you are very level headed, and I wish you luck in all that you do. Happy Holidays

Answer 2

Yes and start doing things that you know they do not care do to be involved with-sports are a good avenue for seperating personality types with out crushing the individual(s)-get interested in something that is more tune to your personality and go on your way with a different friend that you feel comfortable with and become your own person. They will get the hint and hopefully it will phase out naturally for you.

Answer 3

that's a tough one. they must really like you lol. if you really hate spending time with them id just keep doing what you're doing...i dont know if its worth telling them if they havent got the hints so far, unless the reason you feel like your souls been sucked out is because theyre mean or rude to others ...or whatever, something that they do that you could say to them you dont like and that you're too diff. if theres something in particular that u dont like, just be honest and name it, it could also help them change. most of the time, when people are being avoided they can actually tell even if you think they dont get the hint, it's just that they dont know what they're doing wrong.
good luck, just be honest but not mean...lol thats the best advice i can give..

Answer 4

Most people get the hint in a very short time when they are ignored or rebuffed in their efforts to be friendly. If they are just clods and you must make your point, then do so gently. Tell them that you appreciate their invitations but you have some important concerns that must come first, and you need time alone. Tell them you will contact them when you are feeling more sociable. If they ask what you mean, just say it is personal and you don't wish to discuss it.

Answer 5

Maybe you should come out and tell them...very politely. They'll probably take it the wrong way if you are rude about it. In the past when I didn't want to be friends with someone anymore, I just ignored them and they took the hint. But if ignoring them isn't working, you just might have to come clean.

Answer 6

If you've gone through that much trouble, do the honest thing and tell them. Explain to them, calmly and clearly.

However, I'd recommend you to reflect on the reasons for breaking up the friendship and analyse where the problems lie. Perhaps it is best to mend rather than to discard.

Answer 7

First of all, make sure that you've really thought about it. You may be breaking something that you don't really want to lose.

Now, if you're sure, calmly talk to the person about it and be as nice as possible. Don't talk down or anything.
Sample:
"I feel like we don't have nearly as much fun around each other as we used to. I'm sure it'd be a better use of both our times if we stopped wasting it in awkward moments, and they definitely are awkward for me. I'm sure someone that hasn't grown apart from you would be much more caring and fun to be around for you."

And end with a smile, maybe a hug (if hugs are normal for you), and walk away.

Answer 8

i have had the same problem, i actually do right now. even though it sounds mean, i have done it to a couple people, and its worked! and i even have classes with her! what i did was first, not answer her calls, good start, next during passing period, dont look at her, look down, or concentrate on something straight ahead so you dont have to talk, next when you see her, dont act happy, dont really talk, be quiet, and take out your cell phone like your not listening, if you keep doing this, she should EVENTUALLY undertand. good luck! also, dont hang out at all, say your sick, or blame it on your parents, that you're grounded and you didnt clean so you cant go out, works for me!

Answer 9

The best way is to give them a honest answer. If you lie to them you will only dig yourself in a deeper hole. Don't ignore them because your only wasting your time and life is to short for that

Answer 10

obviously, if you don't have fun with them, the are not your friend. My first approach would just try to ignore them totally.. kind of distance yourself. if they follow you and find you, I would sit them down and say "look, I don't really get along with you and I just don't think we should be friends.." somthing like that. In a kind manor, and use an exscuse that isn't that blundt to hurt their feelings. (unless you truly don'y like them and don't care) =]