My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while. When we first met he told me that he was going through a divorce and that it was as friendly as can be. Being in the military he was unable to finish the divorce process until his orders were finished. But he wouldn't tell his "wife or kids". How should I feel?
2007-12-04 13:03:26 · 22 answers · asked by ??? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hes playing it safe so the divorce goes smooth and she doesnt try to charge him with adultry. give him a break. if within a few weeks of it becoming final and he still hasnt brought it up then i would question where you stand with him.
2007-12-04 13:09:01 · answer #1 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Good Question....There are a number of issues here. In most States in the US there is a separation period of 1 year that precedes a divorce. IF your bf or his wife has already filed for a separation.....there is probably nothing wrong with you & your bf dating nor is it any business of his wife who he is dating & therefore I don't think there is any obligation for him to tell the wife who he is dating-------. ON THE OTHER HAND, IF No separation or divorce papers have been filed yet.....it is probably not the wisest thing for you & your bf to be dating since he is still legally married & his wife has every right to know who he is dating since they are not separated or divorced------- Presuming that your bf has an Attorney filing separation and/or divorce papers for him....his Attorney should probably be giving him the appropriate legal advise in this matter.----- As far as the kids are concerned----Sadly ( from personal experience ) I can tell you that the kids are almost always the ones that suffer the most in a divorce. It is often traumatic for the kids to understand & accept the fact that Mom & Dad will no longer be living with them in the same house. It is tough enough for them to deal with this split----I don't see how the kids would derive any benefit from hearing about Mom's new social life or Dad's new social life ?
2007-12-04 14:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Question....There are a number of issues here. In most States in the US there is a separation period of 1 year that precedes a divorce. IF your bf or his wife has already filed for a separation.....there is probably nothing wrong with you & your bf dating nor is it any business of his wife who he is dating & therefore I don't think there is any obligation for him to tell the wife who he is dating-------. ON THE OTHER HAND, IF No separation or divorce papers have been filed yet.....it is probably not the wisest thing for you & your bf to be dating since he is still legally married & his wife has every right to know who he is dating since they are not separated or divorced------- Presuming that your bf has an Attorney filing separation and/or divorce papers for him....his Attorney should probably be giving him the appropriate legal advise in this matter.----- As far as the kids are concerned----Sadly ( from personal experience ) I can tell you that the kids are almost always the ones that suffer the most in a divorce. It is often traumatic for the kids to understand & accept the fact that Mom & Dad will no longer be living with them in the same house. It is tough enough for them to deal with this split----I don't see how the kids would derive any benefit from hearing about Mom's new social life or Dad's new social life ?
2016-05-28 05:32:12 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get in trouble for cheating in the military. His divorce is not final so technically he is cheating. Since he is having a friendly divorce he probably wants to keep it that way. It might become unfriendly if she finds out about you. A lot of times it brings up doubts about what is going on. She might start to think that you were in the picture before. Do not worry unless this continues after the divorce.
2007-12-04 13:30:28 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry. It's common for guys to keep their new relationships quiet until everything is finalized with the divorce. He just doesn't want to give his soon to be EX any reason to drag things out. These EXes almost always seem to be jealous and/or insecure when it comes to the NEW woman in his life.
Your feelings are understandable, but give it time and everything will work out fine.
2007-12-04 13:20:34 · answer #5 · answered by princess 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should not be with someone that is about to get a divorce and if you are than except the fact that he does not want to start problems which might because it is wrong. She could get him for a lot since they are still married if he breaks the ice with her. That is not a good idea to tell her and you need to sit back and chill until it is final.
2007-12-04 13:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by Nae 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
As long as he is with you who cares but whatever you do don't get married!!! Here are a few facts of life you haven't learned yet. You can learn the hard way or pay attention:
1. There is no Santa
2. Everyone lies (even to themselves)
3. Life is not fair
4. All men cheat (almost all women cheat)
5. Marriage sucks
Happy Holidays. If you want honest answers to other questions email I haven't lied for the last 3 years.
2007-12-04 13:42:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
You should feel like he's BS'ing you, until you've seen some Divorce papers. He's Married WITH kids. He's just having an affair, and he's getting the Best of Both worlds. He'll do it as long as you allow it to go on. You deserve better. Plenty of Single, Available Men out there. The one you have has way too much baggage. And He's Married !!! Good Luck !!!
2007-12-04 13:12:41 · answer #8 · answered by casper 5 · 6⤊ 3⤋
Unable to finish the divorce process until his orders were final? That is a crock of _____! I am ex-military. I know. He is feeding you crap to string you along. Personally, I would bail. Also, adultery in the military is punishable by court-martial. So, that may be the reason he is keeping it under wraps. Then again, you might just be a fling also. If you insist on sticking around, then protect your heart.
2007-12-04 13:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 3⤋
Girl... get out NOW! Guys that seem to have a divorce that's taking FOREVER and won't tell the "wife"... not a good news. What that probably means in reality is that he's thinking about getting a divorce IF he finds greener pastures... His wife probably knows nothing about these plans. Please don't be party to adultury - don't get hurt, get out.
2007-12-04 13:22:04 · answer #10 · answered by JainaS 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋