I haven't seen or heard from my kiwi ex for over a decade, and a lot of water has gone 'under the bridge' since then. I have married, had children, settled down, but a part of me always wonders what he is doing, and how he is doing, and sometimes i just wish i could contact him and say hi. We shared a lot of big stuff together, and i'd love to catch up for old times sake.
Is it inappropriate to do this, even though my intentions are purely innocent? Maybe you should never contact an ex if you are married, even if you know you just want to say hi?
Any thoughts would be great.
2007-12-04 13:00:28 · 12 answers · asked by harttattoo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be careful if this is someone you had a special connection with I say stay away...
I have been in contact on/off for years with an ex ,we even have spent time together with our partners in the past thinking we could be friends, we have recently bumped into each other after a few years of no contact and started to meet for lunch and JUST TALK .We enjoy spending time together... We are both in unhappy relationships and we can really open up and talk about things neither one can with anyone else. I will admit it's hard not to act on old feelings and we have admitted to each other that we have been tempted to act on our feelings as we realize we never stopped loving each other and now being older & wiser can be truthful about why it never worked for us before but know we cant go back and it is really hard. Once you have that kind of bond with someone no matter how much time passes it never really goes away. So if your in a happy relationship don't risk it.....it can tear at your heart when you find yourself in love with 2 ppl.
2007-12-04 14:46:24 · answer #1 · answered by Hunny 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think you have moved on. There might have been a lot of water that went under the bridge but the stains are still there.
You are still emotionally attached to your ex.
It is very inappropriate thing to do in your circumstances to even think about him and wanting to get in touch with him. The good thing is that you know it your self.
Do the right thing by forgetting all about him and never to even think about contacting him. If you cannot do it then consider your self cheating (emotional cheating) on your husband.
The poor guy deserves better. Let him go if you cannot forget about your ex. That is the right thing to do.
2007-12-04 13:11:16 · answer #2 · answered by bhaiyagi 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should let the past die. Maybe he is married as well. If that is the case, then you both run the risk of rekindling old feelings and ruining what you have now. The time, thought and effort put into thinking about your ex could be put into your husband. Priorities.
2007-12-04 13:07:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
No. It's not a good idea at all. Move on. If I was your ex I would not want to contact you after a decade anyhow. Let the broken past stays that way.
2007-12-04 13:12:09 · answer #4 · answered by Dongfeng!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife & I have run into exes of both of ours. It is sooooo fun. This is my familyi. Did you ever...? How's your mom doing? Did your brohter marry that red head? It does bring a good closure. And it is fun to meet people your spouse used to date. We all have "I wonder what ever happened to...?" We have even looked up old neighbors. As long as you are not trying to "reconnect" with him, go for it.
2007-12-04 14:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think there is nothing wrong with it. Even though you are not married does not mean you don't have love for him. You will always have love for him and it is ok to wonder how he is doing. If you start to feel like you miis him or things feel like they should not feel than don't do it again but give it a try and see what happens.
2007-12-04 13:05:56 · answer #6 · answered by Nae 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't go looking for him... you could open up a can of worms that you cannot cap back. Not everyone wonders what happened to the ex... And it's disrespectful to the present spouses!
2007-12-04 13:13:04 · answer #7 · answered by T. 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm married and contacted my ex wife and damn if I didn't jump in the bed with her and make love. I was weak...and now sorry and paying for it.
She got pregnant...just my luck.
2007-12-04 13:25:37 · answer #8 · answered by bigapple 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband about it! If you're scared to talk to your husband, it's probably not a good idea; but if you're just wanting to catch up, and your husband is cool with it, I would just be completely open with your hubby about any communication goes on. Transparency in your marriage goes a long way.
2007-12-04 13:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
No.......How would you feel if your husband wanted to contact his ex-lover.Put yourself in his shoes. He would be hurt. Just move on and enjoy your life.
2007-12-04 13:07:56 · answer #10 · answered by Sweet Tee 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋