I've gained a little over 50 pounds and I like to read romance novels more than I like to talk to my spouse.
Why doesn't he love me for who I am?
2007-12-04 12:50:45 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think he married you for the person you were. He loves you the way you are just 50+pounds lighter. I think maybe read your novels just do it while walking on a treadmill. Remember staying fit gives you a better sex life.
2007-12-04 12:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Well, the weight is one thing that I'm ambivalent on. You can still be a loving, caring person and carry extra weight. However, you have to realize that most people consider being overweight a sign of an undisciplined, lazy person. How you deal with that perception is up to you.
If you would rather read romance novels than talk to your husband, though, your marriage has undergone a severe change, and it's not for the better. Don't get me wrong -- I enjoy romance novels, too. But when you reach the point where a bad fantasy is preferable to a real man, something's not right. A loving, caring wife would WANT to try to meet their husband's needs -- just like a loving, caring husband should want to try to meet their wife's needs. However, just sitting back, eating ice cream, reading bad fiction and declaring that your husband just needs to "love you the way you are" indicates that you aren't even trying, but you think he should make the effort to love you, anyway.
I can't think of a quicker way to kill love, than to not to try to keep it alive. Marriage is hard enough when two people work at it. It sounds like you've given up.
If you've gained a lot of weight and need the escapism of romance novels more than a relationship with a willing husband, please consider counseling. I suspect you may be dealing with more than a slight degree of depression -- you owe it to yourself and your marriage to be your best, not sink to your worst.
2007-12-04 21:08:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You like to read romance novels more than you like to talk to your spouse? For the love of God, there has to be a reason for that. Yes, he should love you for who you are. However, in a sense, you should both be one. You should both take the time to tend to each other's needs. Put down the novel and try reading him for a while. It would do nothing but help you.
2007-12-04 21:02:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
He probably want s to BE Your Romance Novel !! You should be spending More time w/ your spouse than with a book. And if you want to loose the weight, you can make a conscious effort to do so. I'd love to loose 50-60lbs myself!! I've just got to get some sort of "routine" going. Good Luck !!
Your spouse just wants some attention, and some physical affection !!
2007-12-04 20:57:40 · answer #4 · answered by casper 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ur spouse married u for u not for how u look. If thats what the issue is then they need to get over it and except u for the person u are not for who they want u to be. If ur spouse can't do that then tell them to find someone that makes them happy and u do the same.
2007-12-04 20:59:18 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you are talking about losing weight then that is a cross you have to bare if you feel the need to lose it then lose it but now when you say you rather read a book than talk to your spouse then there is a problem i think about my husband all the tI'me when im in his presence i want nothing more than to enjoy that moment with him there is nothing wrong with reading but don't ignore the real life stuff get a real life romance going on in your own life
2007-12-04 21:01:02 · answer #6 · answered by been there and know now 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You love romance novels more than your husband? That is a fast lane to divorce!
What if your husband gained 100 pounds?? Would you care?
2007-12-04 21:01:47 · answer #7 · answered by terliuke 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
While he should love you for who you are... that only goes so far.... The fact that you would rather read a book than talk to him, says your priorities are not in the right place.. and if I were him, I'd be a bit upset too.
2007-12-05 00:01:01 · answer #8 · answered by Aimee R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should love you for you, if your happy at 50 lbs heavier then he should not nag or belittle you, but not talking to the man is just wrong. Conversation and dialog are important.
2007-12-04 20:59:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
a relationship is based on communication and love. you can read anytime. talk with him and let him know hes the most important part of your life. unless you want him to find someone else who will, because everybody needs someone who will listen and who cares.
2007-12-04 21:02:59 · answer #10 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋