Forgive me if I'm wrong, but something I've noticed a lot on here is that folks in the marriage and divorce section (which is probably indicative of people in general) tend to look upon those who are in dating relationships but unmarried as not in 'real' relationships. Case in point: I read a question by a woman who had been with her SO for six years - longer than a lot of folks who are married - he cheated on her, she was devastated, and the advice she got here was just to 'forget about him, find another one' - that would not be said to a married person.
Another thing - do you think that unmarried cheating is as bad as married cheating? Isn't a committed relationship a committed relationship?
Many married people also think that being unmarried denotes immaturity or being young - not so. Many people have various reasons for not being married, and most are not those. Many people choose to remain together, but unmarried, as well.
Questions? Comments? Agree? Disagree?
2007-12-04 12:09:40 · 13 answers · asked by HooliganGrrl 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It just seems to me that you can be with someone for years, be completely committed to them, etc., but until you have it on paper, many people think your relationship isn't 'for real'.
2007-12-04 12:10:29 · update #1
I strongly agree with u!
Cheating is cheating, no matter whether ur married or in a committed relationship!
The way society looks at it can be different though, where they tend to think being married should allow forgiveness and just being in a relationship makes it ok to just toss away their SO even thouh the relationship may have lasted longer than many marriages!
2007-12-04 12:33:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree with out. I also read that question and thought about answering it. But I figgured that with all of the other bullsh*t answers mine would just be skipped over. A relationship is a relationship. Doesn't matter if you are married, engaged, or just dating. I was going to answer her by saying something like
"When we got married, we had to go through some counseling by our pastor required before he would do the ceremony. In our very first session together he told us that we should go into our marriage with the thought that divorce is not an option. A marriage is a cometment. You can't just bail at the first thing that goes wrong. Same as with a "just dating" relationship. If anything this should only tell her that is it time to sit back and take a good look at what they have together, realize that somewhere something went wrong, and work on fixing that. Realize that if this happened then they need to spend some time working on the problems in their relationship before moving on to the next step of marriage.
If they were married most people would not just tell her to up and leave him. Talk to him about it, find out what went wrong, work on that. It should be no different for a non-marriage relationship. I'm very glad that someone on here finally stepped up and approuched this.
2007-12-04 12:30:17 · answer #2 · answered by tIgErFaCe2002 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to disagree, only because marriage is such a social institution and when people "take the plunge" they are expected to remain faithful forever, no matter what. Before people get married, no matter how long it's been they have never made that commitment to each other (or they would have just gotten married) for whatever reason. But there is always a reason! Always! Haha. People say "many" people choose to not marry, but I'll be honest here, I don't know ANY- forget many.
2007-12-04 13:29:50 · answer #3 · answered by hmm 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relationship for UN.married persons can be
strong and lasting, but how many UN-married
persons that have a long relationship have been
together for 15yrs, 20yrs, 30yrs compared to
married persons. Case in point I have been
with my wife over20yrs and my parents have
been married over55yrs. Statistically speaking
the longer relationships where the man and
woman have been together the longest will
come from the marriage side of the house.
That still is not to say that UN-married couples
can't have a long relationship.Cheating is
cheating weather married or Un-married .
2007-12-04 13:15:09 · answer #4 · answered by RudiA 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see that folk see bf/gf as unreal relationships and I will and have advised plenty of married folk to divorce and move on. It doesnt matter to me if someone is married, they shouldn't have to work any more or less harder than a non -married couple to save the relationship. Like you said a commitment is a commitment and being married doesnt mean you should get more chances than if unmarried ...at least not in my book. I am extremly loyal and I expect extreme loyalty from my mate...whether we are married or not.
2007-12-04 12:17:11 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think posting a question in the appropriate section would be the place to start. And I give the same advice to everyone, if they cheat get rid of them. A liar and a cheat will always be a liar and cheat, they never change.
I'll tell you the same thing I tell my daughters. Why in the world would you expect a partner to be committed to you if they cannot legally commit to you? You do things half *ssed, you get a half *ssed relationship. Any time you don't get full and complete commitment from the person you consider your significant other, you are short changing yourself. If marriage isn't an option, (same sex)then there had best be a legal arrangement of next of kin and power of attorney. Love and relationships aren't about what dishes you have, but who gets to decide what when the unexpected happens.
2007-12-04 12:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I was with a guy for 6 years and it wasnt for real as you say.His family didnt get it .My family didnt get it.We were never treated as a real couple and therefore I felt resentment about not getting married.I wanted people to see it as real but You cant change society.One thing I noticed is acquantances certainly feel very liberal about hitting on your man and saying well your not married or anything.Id rather be married .We can moan and groan but it is what it is.
2007-12-04 12:18:45 · answer #7 · answered by butterflyspy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
STAY UNMARRIED!!! Don't listen to all those idiots. If you are happy why change it. One thing I can guarantee you is that if you do get married it is the beginning of the end of your relationship!!!
2007-12-04 14:04:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-03-02 02:03:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you of course... I have seen so many committed relationships that aren't on paper that have been just as committed as ones who are. The pain is just as real as is the joy...
2007-12-04 12:16:33 · answer #10 · answered by Praire Crone 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋