whats the best way to tell your wife youre gay?

Question

and not have her hate you. its not like i just chose this, ive been like this for a while, just lying to myself.

Answer 1

She'll probably be angry at you no matter how you tell her, but that won't last forever. She'll get over the initial hurt in time. It's got to be a tough bridge to cross. Good luck, and congratulations on deciding to be yourself.

Answer 2

This will be one of the hardest things you will have to do in your life. You have to be honest with every one, it will hurt people and they may never forgive that . But there is ultimately one person who looks out for you ...and that's YOU. I am sure you love your wife very much . And over time that love has grown strong, because you spent the time with each other. There will always be the memory's, of the good time,'s the time's you made each other cry, the time's you hated each other...but most of all the good times.

She wont feel safe . She will have to start her life from the start .So its impotent that you support her, if she lets you. Don't expected her to be strong on her own.

Remember love comes in many different forms, just because you like men, do's not mean you don't love your wife, and don't convinces your self that you don't .Because you will have to be strong for both of you.

I know if my fiancé told me he was straight. I could not forgive him . The amount of things we have been throw and the things we have said to each other .....well it would simply rip me apart .I would be forever broken. But I know, I could never ask him to be some one he is not, even if my world is crushed . But that's just me .

But you need to do what you need to do.Be strong,don't look back, do what you have to, and move on.

I wish you good luck .

Answer 3

You are the type of insecure gay man, who made a lot of drama and trouble just because you dont HAVE DECISION!! How come u know ur gay and you have a wife? What a big mess u done! And dont tell me u have kids either...cuz that a shame, u know?
Right now, ur situation is black and white and its in ur hand, somebody, either yourself or ur wife gonna get hurt. Cuz u cant leave this mess, w/out getting hurt!!

Answer 4

i jest do not know why gay men get married in the first place, and yes you did chose to get married you could have said at the wedding no you do not take this women as your lawful wedded wife but no you chose to say yes you do, and as fair coming out of the closet jest say that you gay, and your wife is going to be vary vary mad at you for not saying no at the wedding i am a gay guy my self i know i would be mad my self, and stop liing to the people in your life, your wife may hate you to.

Answer 5

The easiest way to tell her the truth with the least hurt is to tell her the truth as soon as possible. Doesn't mean she will like the answer, but at least you've told her the truth to her face. Surely she suspects something, unless you are a very good actor.

Answer 6

You need to sit her down, tell her you have something important to tell her and tell her something like this:
" I need to talk to you about our relationship. I want to be the kind of man who can be a good husband and I love you very much, but I have a problem. It has taken me a long time to be honest with myself about this and I cannot continue to lie about it to myself or to you. I have spent my life trying to be something I am not. I love you, but I am just not heterosexual.
I know we have gone along as if I was straight and I blame myself for not being able to be realistic about this earlier. But we are who we are and I am too exhausted by the fight to pretend anymore. (Take her hand)
I need to ask you to let me be who I am. I do not want you to hate me and I do not want to do anything to hurt you, but I cannot live a lie either, even if it was a lie I told to myself. We can do this anyway you want to, but I need to leave and to be the man I really am. I am gay and I need to live on my own."

She may already know this in her heart. She may cry or she may be angry or horrified or she may hug you. She could try to deny it and ask you to continue to pretend. Who can tell? But you are right, denying it will not lead to happiness for either of you, just a life where you cheat and she looks the other way or tells herself you are cheating with other women.
The fear of her response is major, but the reality is that it is like pulling off a bandage - do it and allow the pain to heal.

Answer 7

I'm not too sure that there is a good way. She will be very hurt, but maybe through time she will come to understand and you two can be friends again.

Answer 8

Truth is,
their Isnt.
You just need to breathe,
&& come Clean.
If You Dont Now,
believe it or not,
it will be even harder tomorrow.
&& it will be hard to live with yourself,
but keep in thier,
you will figure out sooner or later,
if you want a male or female.
Just find out first.

Answer 9

oh wow
i saw a show like that where the husband turns out to be gay but the wife still stayed with him after he turned into a transsexual. They're good friends now

i don't know what i would do in your situation
hopefully your wife is nice

Answer 10

If you re a gay why would you marry her?????
So you re not a gay at all, or if you became, you have no choice to tell her straight away because some day she will recognise it and would be very very difficult to make her understand.