Tell me your thoughts about this statement regarding breastfeeding.?

Question

My doctor advised me to wean by 22 months so my son won't remember it and to avoid causing social problems. What do you think?

I would love to see links with info about how extended breastfeeding doesn't cause social problems. Unfortunately, where I live finding a doctor that fits 100% with me is unlikely. I really can handle a doctor that has never said the word "formula" to me and wants me to wean by 22 months (much better than some!). I don't at all agree with making sure he can't remember it, but I'd love some good solid info to bring him.

Answer 1

That's an odd number to pick.

I've nursed to almost a year, almost 2 years and with the last, it was right before her 3rd birthday. I don't think it has any impact on their socialization. The youngest remembers but not the other two. Why is remembering it at all at issue? Is this harmful? Is remembering a bottle better??

Not only should you nurse as long as YOU and your baby want to, but don't be afraid to call the shots. It's not the same as nursing a newborn. If you only want to let him nurse at certain times, not outside the house, or only certain places (like your mom's or daycare when you pick him up) feel free to do so.

Nursing a toddler doesn't mean you have to be on tap! Some women don't mind if their toddlers nurse anywhere and/or anytime but if that doesn't work for you, than simply decide what you are comfortable with and do that. Don't feel an obligation to wean just because you saw some woman nursing a seven year old and you want to avoid that. I'm not judging women's style of nursing and respect their choice to do it and do it the way they want but not all women feel comfortable with doing it the same way.

If extended nursing works for you and your little one, by all means you should not feel obligated to stop because of some vague social rule. Staying within your comfort zone is no sin and nursing doesn't have to fit a set pattern either, especially after they eat and drink other things.

Answer 2

Why would s/he pick 22mths as the cut-off? That seems so random to me. I don't remember one single thing that happened to me before the age of 5, so if s/he's going on the 'so he won't remember' line than you've got loads more time if he has a memory like I do. Why would that be a bad thing to remember nursing anyways, isn't that a source of great comfort to children? As far as social problems... is s/he referring to other children finding out he's still nursing? I don't see another 2yr old getting into your son's face and asking him why he's still nursing at 22mths old.

Really, don't bother trying to find links to prove to this person that extended breastfeeding is healthy for everyone involved. You probably couldn't change their feelings on the subject as it's likely a 'gut feeling' they have that a child shouldn't be breastfed at 2yrs old. Certainly there isnt any evidence to suggest you shouldn't nurse a 22mth old! Random.

After having a child and the issues I ran into regarding breastfeeding with my first two pediatricians (third was a charm though!) I've really lost respect for the profession. It's clear that in general they know NOTHING about breastfeeding. And that they are in a position to influence how you feed your child is disturbing considering their lack of knowledge. I was told even before I gave birth by many new mothers and my midwife that I would likely be told to give formula since my baby wouldn't 'gain enough', but when it actually happened I was devastated and actually supplemented with formula until I could get another opinion... than that man said the same thing... wasn't until I found my third where I got reassurance that all was well and that I didnt need to give formula. It makes me so, so angry... even though I was warned I fell into this trap of believing her/him because they are a Dr for crying out loud! They've gone to medical school and look at babies all day long. But in the end they don't know as much as you do for things like this. Go with your heart, not the bad advice from your Dr.

Answer 3

More than a little ironic, what with *him* being exactly the 'social problem' he's thinking of...

He doesn't really have any business doling out advice like that. That's not a medical issue.

"In societies where children are allowed to nurse "as long as they want" they usually self-wean, with no arguments or emotional trauma, between 3 and 4 years of age..."

http://kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html

"Nursing toddlers benefit NUTRITIONALLY
Nursing toddlers are SICK LESS OFTEN
Nursing toddlers have FEWER ALLERGIES
Nursing toddlers are SMART
Nursing toddlers are WELL ADJUSTED SOCIALLY
Nursing a toddler is NORMAL
MOTHERS also benefit from nursing past infancy"

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

There is sort of a doctors' round table on 'extended' breastfeeding here that you might be interested to read:

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/114/5/S2/1506

Yes, the Dr Stalker bit is pretty awful.

I honestly have no idea why that turned into a medical issue there, or with you and your doctor.

Answer 4

You need a new doctor!

I am a proponent of attachment parenting and longterm breastfeeding - but I also believe that the nursing should only go on as long as the mother is comfortable with it and the child is interested.

I nursed my eldest for 26 months before I weaned her - it was my choice. She is a happy, healthy, socially adept 9-1/2 year old now.
My youngest nursed for 15 monts and weaned on her own accord - she just woke up one day uninterested. She is a happy, healthy, socially adept 5 year old.

I know women who have nursed their children upwards of 7 years, and all their children are charming, lovely, socially adept children.

You have to do what you think is best - not what an ignorant doctor advises.

Best wishes.

Answer 5

Well, it could be worse - he could be telling you to wean at 1 year, or 6 months... Anyway, there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that children develop 'social problems' as a result of extended breastfeeding. I think you should continue nursing your son as long as you and he want to.

Answer 6

i've never heard of that before, and I belong to a forum board where a lot of women extended breastfeed. I think you are right to question this statement, it doesn't seem valid to me at all. I say go with your gut, and make the choice for yourself and your son when to wean. way to go!

Answer 7

I easily have in no way heard this assertion earlier, i think Hitler and Nazis took suggestions from jap religions and made it there very own doctrine to illustrate the ayran race perception could be traced lower back to hinduism, even there swastika image could be contemporary in jap religions.for sure they distorted all of this to make it a doctrine of hatred for all different races.little doubt in addition they blended interior the occult and athesim into this,so as that they weren't unique in there ideals.

Answer 8

Keep nursing as long as you feel comfortable. My question for you to think about though, is if your child is eating healthy and a semi balanced diet, are the nutritional benefits of breastfeeding really nesecary? As long as you are breastfeeding for your child's sake, your child isn't nursing like other children run around with bottles (for comfort or habit, not need), and you aren't wanting to continue breastfeeding for yourself, then keep it up.

Best of luck with your happy baby!

Answer 9

Honestly? That's none of your doctors business. Those kind of advises are definitely not part of his job.

This matter is completely up to you, I don't see why you have to bring him the facts.

Answer 10

you need a new doctor- my sister tried nursing from my mother when she was 4-5 because she saw my youngest sister nursing- she remembers and it doesnt bother her. it has been proven that no social problems have been associated with extended breastfeeding. if your doc didnt wlready knwo that then he needs to go back to school. honestly, i wish i could rememer being that close with my mother i think it would have maded me more self confident today
hey KLD my 8 month old can talk so is nursing him strange, why should you punish them because they learned to talk