When my wife met this guy, I guess you can say I wasn’t very appreciative of her. 13 years of marriage you kind of loose sight of what you have. She said they never had sex, and never wanted sex. The way he looked and fussed over her made her keep going back, and it was like a vacation. This last time, they haven’t even talked to each other for months. They started kissing, he tried to have sex with her and she thought she wanted it too until contact. She realized she didn’t want it then pushed him off, started dry heaving, crying, got physically ill. She hurried home, and spilled her guts. She wept while I pack my stuff and begged me to stay. At first I stayed for my kids because they didn’t disserve this. Then I realized that I do love this beautiful woman that chose me in the end. I believe her about everything because I made her swear on our kids (she really loves our kids). Things are good at the moment, our love life has never been better. It’s painful imagining them together.
2007-12-04 11:25:56 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My friend.. I want you to read this very carefully and to think about it a lot. Whether you believe it or not your wife was up front and honest with you. You didn't find it out on your own or from someone else's mouth. When it comes right down to it she didn't have to say anything and could have kept it to herself. I know it's painful imagining them together but imagine this.....she's in your arms...not his. As for your children...do not lightly dismiss how you would feel if you left. You would miss special times together, tucking them in at night, cuddling them when they feel hurt, wiping away their tears when they feel sad...anything and everything you could think of you would miss. Children go through hell from divorce...don't fool yourself...they really do. If you left you would beat yourself up for the rest of your life knowing that you weren't the father you should have been. It's not about you...it's about your family. Sometimes we have to travel down roads that we don't want to in life. You and your wife are very special people..even though you hurt, you're trying to keep everything together. Most, would give up but you're hanging in there. Think back to what brought you together and build on it. All you need is love....love you family dearly for they are the most important people in your life and they should always be. I wish you the best my friend. May God bless you with His most abundant blessings.
2007-12-04 12:17:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you might really have a chance to make your marriage work out. I suggest some marriage counceling. Remember it takes 2 people to make an marriage and 2 people to break one. I know forgiveness isn't easy. Ask yourself though would you want to be forgiven. I'm sure you've both made your fair share of mistakes. Now you need to find out how to fix what's wrong. Also try to find out what you can do to bring the romance back. See if you can get back to the way you were when you were first in love. Maybe this is the wake up call you both needed. Not everyone gets a second chance. Best of luck to you and your family.
2007-12-04 11:35:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
But you said it yourself they were never really together physically so don't imagine it. I realise that is hard but like you also said your kids don't deserve this and if there is a good chance you can make it then go for it and let the past stay in the past!
I can't say from experience but my husband and I have been together for 11years now married for 9 of those and it gets hard he doesn't always seem like he still attracted to me but I don't honestly think I could ever cheat on him we too have children and when it comes down to it my children's lives would be ruined and I could not be the one who did that.
Just keep the communication lines open between you two and you need to get that trust back. Good luck.
2007-12-04 11:39:05 · answer #3 · answered by CrazyH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I would kick her butt out for a year and have her send you child support while you bang some other woman for a year while you decide what to do. If at the end of the year it seems like a good idea to take her back go for it, but I think she needs a little harsh reality check first.
In all truth after someone cheats all the trust you built up is out the window and you have to start from scratch.
Good luck.
2007-12-04 11:47:29 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My answer to you is.....look at people who have been married for 50 years or more. They have something so special, for no other reason that they love each other for who each other is. Life has taken them down many roads, maybe the road that you are on right now....they were able to work it through. They were able to realize that each person is just that, a human being....one that makes mistakes. They have endured all that life has thrown their way and they have a bond like no other kind of bond on this earth....the most special kind in my eyes. If this is what you want....picture this for yourself instead of the bad thing that happened one time. It sounds like she is truly sorry and that you both really love one another. Don't throw it away yet....the best is yet to come. Peace...Love and happiness to you.
I love what Rick H wrote to you.!!!! You were still on my mind an hour later or more. Had to come back to see what others said before we went to bed.
2007-12-04 11:42:15 · answer #5 · answered by Rein 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the memories or imagined memories of the two of them are not going to go away any time soon. But the fact that your love life is good is an excellent sign that your marriage is one the right track. It sounds like your marriage actually has a good chance.
2007-12-04 11:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Call 'Buddy', but as they say "Leopards don't change their spots". Whats stopping her doing it again? If I were you I'd be getting her to sign an agreement that you get EVERYTHING if she EVER does anything remotely suspicious again. If she doesn't want to do that, then I think you know the answer (She is scared of doing it again). If things are good (as you say), then sure stay together but don't let her use the kids as a bargaining tool, you state what is going to happen in your household, REMEMBER it was not you who betrayed your partners love and trust!
2007-12-04 11:46:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her unconditionally stay, if you just can't get over it then pack your bags! If you have been looking for an excuse to leave in a dignified manner this could be your big ticket out! If you love her to death then you'll do anything to be with her, including forgiving her indiscretions (this dose not mean be a door mat). Remember forgiving them is for your benefit, harboring resentment and hate only hurts you.
2007-12-04 11:40:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a sad story , But it's not true , sex is an act with a climax not a dryheave , she knew you needed to hear that but it's not true she took her clothes off , you can't turn back from that , it's all the way from there... sorry ! let her have her lie , don't tell her you know !Just shut your mouth and keep it shut . the marrage is over ,,unless she wants to re-vow ,,, the vow you had is crumpled on the floor...My question is ,,should I send this ?
2007-12-04 11:44:45 · answer #9 · answered by darkcloud 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she didnt admit she was wrong then I would leave. But she seems to know what she did was wrong, admitted it and if shes making an honest attempt at fixing what the two of you have I would stay.
Forgive but dont forget.
2007-12-04 11:35:41 · answer #10 · answered by katiebear152 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋