This one is for the men out there. What on earth makes you think it is ok to beat your wife?

Question

I know many of you out there are upstanding gentlemen and this question is not aimed at you.

I am so frustrated that there is still so much Domestic Violence out there, that I would like HONEST answers, from those who think it is ok to hit, call them ugly horrible names, tell them they are worthless, etc...

What gives you the right to think that once you marry a women, that means you own them, and can treat them anyway you want to, including beating them? I would also like answers from the boyfriends.

I want the man's perspective on this, and no, I won't turn anybody in. I just want to know.

Let me clarify: My husband has never hit me, or abused me in any way!

I just see so much of it on the news. We just had a woman killed by her husband after multiple reports to the police of domestic violence. He left the 3 year old kid, with her dead mother, and left. It just made me ill.

Ok Ram: Spit it out in English please.

To the guy with the chinese writing. I had to give you a thumbs up on that one. It was just too funny.

Red 207 pi: A woman in our community was just murdered by her husband!!!

I am NOT a sexist, and I do NOT get duped by the media. I am the one who is usually frustrated with the media for focusing on the stupid things like Paris Hilton, and Brittney Spears. I agree violence is violence and I despise any kind. You missed my whole point.

Answer 1

I do not condone spousal abuse but,

Many men abuse their wives because the wives will take it.

Answer 2

I heard this man on the Steve Wilko show say that "his woman has to respect him". Though when Steve told him to hit him he didn't. These men are cowards, insecure, and feel like they need someone to overpower to feel better about them selfs.

Edit: I feel so bad for women. They feel like they have to stick with their vows. They think they can help him when he can not be helped. Most of all they frequently don't see them selves as a victim. So many woman just can't get out of it. Woman need to more and more be informed, that is all we can do. Though even then it is still way hard. Women see the first time as a accident, a one time thing or they were in the wrong. Then it just keeps going. Then they start blaming their self for what is happening. When you throw children in the mix it gets too horrible. I think in part America has done a lot awareness for domestic violence but it is not enough. We need to talk to kids at a young age about this, whether it's the parents or schools.

Answer 3

Red 207 pi - What the hell are you talking about?! This question was sparked b/c a woman was murdered in the asker's community due to a domestic violence incident... where does race and all of that other garbage you were talking about come from?!

To the asker - I completely understand the confusion on why abusers treat loved ones like property to beat up on and abuse at will. I wish there was a way to get to the bottom of it so that more lives are saved. I live in the Washington, D.C. metro area, and a year or so a woman was burned almost to death in her place of business by her estranged husband who she had recently placed an order of protection against. So sad.

Answer 4

Well, I would never raise my hand to anyone, man or woman, but I can imagine why someone would. Many people are raised under the impression that violence is a just or reasonable way to settle disputes; they get into an argument with their wives and decide that the best way to get what they want is to physically bully them into submission.

Other wife-beaters probably don't think this way normally but have learned that they can shift responsibility away from themselves by getting drunk and lowering their inhibitions to the point where they feel free to hit their wives.

And I'm sure that there's a huge chunk of people who don't know how to control anger and frustration.

Answer 5

domestic violence is not just a male aberration, but clearly a human behavior that is not separated by gender. There are many females who are abusive and violent. The question is why does a person find it OK to hurt another. Some actually enjoy it for the sense of power over another, some use violence as a way of coping their own shortcomings. There is no easy answers on the human condition. Since the beginning of time it stems from greed, jealousy and the power of to control others. It is why we have wars. It is NOT OK, its cruel and vengeful.

Answer 6

Any man that hits a woman is not a man first of
all, and part of the problem is too many women
say they love their man so they would rather
take the beating rather than turn him in. What
needs to happen is more women should be
ready to fight back like the movie , ENOUGH,
with Jennifer Lopez, now that's what a man
needs that hits or beats a woman,...

Answer 7

I am a man, and I get very indignant about it too. Occasionally, wives beat their husbands. It's more rare, but it happens. The reason they do it is they have not matured into the art of controlling their own rage. It's not like they think it's okay. If you can catch them in an objective moment, they will admit that it's wrong. But they will emphasize the mitigating factors that drove them into a rage. Calling their wives names and telling them that they are worthless is a symptom of disgust, which is very closely related to rage. It's not being able to process their own feelings in a healthy manner. It is reprehensible, and it needs to be stopped. We as a society need to clamp down muchy arder on these parasites, but it's not so easy. Most often, the wife being beaten will cover up her husband's crimes, enabling him to escape justice. It's a big problem, and I'm just heartsick about it.

Answer 8

Generally this failure is due to lack of education, this neanderthal tactic has been around since the very beginning, a flux image that is burned into every human male.

Additionally, the latter is usually a vent when the male is placed in a situation where he cannot counter-react.
Instead of confronting the souce his anima causes him to avoid the implication that will arise.
The mind is very complex, when thoughts as demonstrated above manifest they continue to duplicate into a more aggresive tendency.
Sadly, this temporal bubble must find a place to exit.

A good controlled conscious will always avoid such interaction since the result is always negative.
The latter is where an educated mind will find harmony.

Remember, education does not always mean intelligence in reference to school/college.
The majority of educated mind's hinge more on wisdom.

Furthermore, the virtue of compassion will thrive when wisdom is achieved!

Answer 9

I think you know 'god damn well' that none of the creeps you want to answer your question will! If they are that gutless to go around physically and mentally beating women what makes you think they have the brains to 'log in' to a computer?
As a REAL man I know It is not O.K. as you put it, for anybody to carry out domestic violence, It is very frustrating for the REAL men out there to have these creeps doing this. If I had it my way all those losers that do 'partake' in any sort of violence I'd like to have the buggers all thrown in a jail that is full of 'bad-***' women, I'll bet they never touch a woman again!

Also please don't start your question with; "One for the men out there", because you are aiming it at all men with your BOLD lettered first line.

Answer 10

I'm 18 and I've never been in a relationship but I think its wrong for the husband to beat his wife. I cannot believe they were actually able to get a lover, I'm a kind gentleman yet I don't have someone to love... If I did have someone, I would appreciate her more. I for one don't think its right to see people as property either, like I said if I ever love someone, I would cherish them. I wouldn't mind if my wife was in charge of the house like many women today but at least remember we are partners so we gotta work together.

Answer 11

In no way is it morally right for a man to beat a women. It is not alright for a Women to beat a man physically. It is just as wrong for mental and emotional degradation. Many people seem to have a very low self esteem, and evasion of happiness, a person must grasp at their inner sprite for lack of a better word and think of a way to somehow someway overcome and live their life as they imagine life should be.