Some of my family members don't get a long and can't standing being under one roof during Xmas time. Reason...my mother drives everyone nuts! So like every year, we take turns speading Xmas at eachother others houses, last year was at mine, this year its my cousin's turn. And a couple of months ago my mother had a falling out with her sister (my aunt) and mother of my cousin. So basically a couple months before their falling out the decision was to spend Xmas at her house. We all agreed. Now that my mom is fighting with my aunt, my mother expects me to drop her invitation the last minute to spend with her. She is giving me this guilt trip like..."I don't get to spend Xmas with my grandchildren"? She is so closed minded and only cares about her, I don't agree with her in the argument she had with my aunt, but I don't say anythng as it has nothing to do with me. What would you do? How do you split your time? This gets me so angry...I cant be at 2 places the same freaken time!
2007-12-04 10:25:49 · 13 answers · asked by GThang 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
I would tell Mom you aren't changing your plans about going to the designated family person's home for the holidays but would maybe offer to go to Mom's house on Xmas Eve (that's if you have that time available). Otherwise, maybe you could drop by poor Mom's on your way home or to the designated family person's home for Xmas Day. If you wanted to make a point, you could just not make any efforts and give Mom the ultimatum to be at the designated family person's home or miss out on the family. Your Mom is going to have to realize one day that she may be the one who loses if she continues to be difficult in her relationships - that includes missing seeing her Grandchildren on Xmas. Good Luck on this special Day & I hope you find some pleasure and happiness to enjoy.
2007-12-04 10:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by debnm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate Christmas I moved 3000 miles away just so I wouldn't have to deal with this kind of crap. I would say that you have already made plans and that you should stick to your guns. Tell your mother that if she wants to be a part of the family that she needs to make up with your Aunt. Is your Mother still invited to your cousins house? If so tell her, she is the one not going somewhere not you. That is hard to tell your Mother but then again it is always hard when your parents behave like children rather than parents.
Bottom line your Mother and Aunt need to work this out they are sisters and that is important. Also are you married. If so you could always spend the holidays with your in-laws. :)
2007-12-04 18:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by Crazy Train 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family wouldn't be family if they didn't fight once in a while, do what you feel in your heart. Don't worry about anything else, if you have a big family, next year it will be something else. It's okay not to speak to someone once in a while, as long as the love is still there, and although we sometimes think it's not, believe me when I tell you that it is. Once the heart has felt that flutter of love, it doesn't go away, no matter how hard you try not to show it. All people are different. Have a good Holiday.
2007-12-04 18:31:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you didn't say how far apart the two parties live from each other ? You could split up your day by spending some time with Mom, she won't be around forever, and then go to the cousin's house. Mom doesn't have to know, if she does & remains bullheaded, then thats her business.
Remind her Christmas is not who hosts a party but the real reason behind it. Peace.
2007-12-04 18:30:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have Christmas at your mother's on Christmas Eve and go to your cousin's on Christmas Day as planned. I had the same dilemma with my family years ago and thats what I did. Mom didnt like it, but she had no choice if she wanted to see her grandchildren open their presents from her. I put my foot down she wasnt going to use my kids as ransom for her fights.
2007-12-04 18:33:47 · answer #5 · answered by miladybc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you should go to your aunt. try to convince your mother that it was agreed upon and that its Christmas..... a time to reunite and forget what happened. Or see if you can make a short trip to their house. that will show everyone your good intentions and you mom can't say anything against you wanting to spend time with your family. i would definitely put my foot down because it's your mother that has problems with her sister, not you.
good luck, i know its hard..
2007-12-04 18:33:42 · answer #6 · answered by scarekat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My relatives can be that way at times. But for some unknown reason, we all end up together at Christmas. Be patient & hope for the best. It's still a couple of weeks away yet.
2007-12-04 18:30:42 · answer #7 · answered by The Eagle Keeper 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
go over your mom's house in the morning so she wont feel alone and then go over your cousin's for the rest of the day..i mean you already have prior plans just b/c your mom got mad doesnt mean you have to agree with her. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
2007-12-04 18:34:26 · answer #8 · answered by I ♥ CHRiS BR0WN 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your mom shouldn't but into your decision any more than you got involved in her argument. i know she's you mom but this is ridiculous. i say go to your cousin's house if that's what you want to do. maybe if you stick to your guns, mom will swallow her pride and go too.
2007-12-04 18:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could all go to a Christmas event somewhere else, or all stay at a hotel together? Not quite sure how to answer this one.
2007-12-04 18:29:13 · answer #10 · answered by giavanna411☺♥♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋