My husband has been out of work for 5 months now. We have been living on my student loan money. He has no education, and there are limited jobs available in our area that he can do. Our family business closed after 9 years, and he is reluctant to do anything else. I told him to go to driving school and get a higher paying job/career going to help support our family ( 2 toddlers). It's like he doesn't care. In may I will have a two year degree in education. Should I leave him, or give him more time?
2007-12-04 10:13:16 · 25 answers · asked by noggle4 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Interesting. It's time to have a serious talk with him and let him know that you're serious about the fact that he doesn't have a job. He's not a man if he won't support his family. If things don't change for you and he's not interested in doing what it takes to find a job or make things better, you might have to consider doing other things, and if that means leaving, then that's what you may have to do. His attitude and behavior mean more than words can say. Make sure also he doesn't make promises that he can't or won't keep. If he wants to continue to be lazy, make sure it's not on your dime. Good luck and take care =)
2007-12-04 10:49:36 · answer #1 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to work with him. Maybe the reason he won't get a job is because he feels inadequate due to his lack of education and the closure of his business. Maybe you can find a night course that he could take to give him some job skills. If you can, try to see if you could reopen his business or find another similar enterprise where he could work. Often when people behave like this it is because of fear and anxiety rather than laziness. Give him time and do all that you can to help him, but make sure that he knows that he has to rejoin the adult world sooner or later.
If you try to help him and he won't respond to any of your efforts, you might have to take drastic steps such as divorcing him or killing him for his insurance money. If it comes to that, I can understand if you feel nervous but there are a lot of new poisons out there that make it go fast and mostly painless. Bear in mind that this should be a LAST RESORT that should only even be considered if your husband shows no signs of wanting to get help.
2007-12-04 10:20:00 · answer #2 · answered by James Bond 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Was there any good advice on this question? I am in the same boat and struggling on what actions I should take. Its been two years that my husband worked. He only had his previous job because I had him come work for me in the insurance industry. As soon as I went corporate, he laid low. He started school and quit 5 classes before graduation. He took the postal exam and made a 98 but doesnt apply for jobs. He says he takes care of the house and that he is doing his part by that. We have no children and one dog. I dont see how we are 50/50 in our relationship. Unfortunately I make enough money to take care of us financially. My fear is who he has become. I am afraid of what I see now. I know I am enabling him to sit at home, stay up late, watch tv and play video games by not making any demands. I love him but I have lost respect for him. What do I do?
2015-08-11 06:09:26 · answer #3 · answered by S M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's had 5 months, but I do believe u should give him a definite ultimatum with a deadline u can/will stick with. If I were u I'd give him a deadline of 30 days to find a job...if he doesnt have a job in 30 days I say to you it's time for you to get out and figure out a plan to do so.
2007-12-04 10:21:27 · answer #4 · answered by Candle Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man is defined by his job. He is in depression. Help him with his resume and together look on line for a new job.
You don't leave your husband over something as simple as this!!!!!! (But you don't just sit back and let it happen either)
In the meantime, have him exercise, have him eat right take this time for him to learn a new skill (like how to use excel/other software program)
2007-12-04 10:46:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything that is important to him, examples baseball cards, or his truck, 4-wheeler, boat or whatever he really likes. Run an add in the paper and sell it for bill money. When he see's that you are serious then maybe he will get a job. Good LUck! Don't put up with it to long or you will be in a mess for the rest of your life.
2007-12-04 10:28:19 · answer #6 · answered by reese 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him an ultimatum. Either he gets off his lazy behind and tries harder to find a job or he can go stay somewhere else if he can't make an effort to start contributing to the family. Don't you think you've given him enough time?
2007-12-04 11:17:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should assist him with a resume and/or help him find a job. Find out what is the most difficult aspect of his inability to gain employment (interviewing skills, appearance, attitude ect ) and try to fix/change those things in his favor.The driving school idea I great! If he flat out refuses or makes no attempts to fill out applications, then a separation may be in order.
2007-12-04 10:58:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he definitely has no respect for you and i wouldnt let him use your student loan money you have to pay that back why have more debt and there are plenty of retail stores that he could work at till he finds something...give him a time and if by then he doesnt go look and get a job, I would probably leave...
2007-12-04 11:04:36 · answer #9 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking for a job is a full time job.
He should be out 5 or 6 days a week 40 hrs. a week looking for a job.
Is he doing this.?
It's not always what you know but who you know he needs to make sure he is talking to everyone he knows that he is looking for work.
Sounds like you may have to dump him and find someone who is not so lazy.!!
2007-12-04 10:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋