what should do if your father says he understand your transtion ,but real he does not should you just move on?

Answer 1

I assume you're talking about transsexual transition.

It's difficult for your father; he wants to understand and support your transition, but he is faced with a huge disadvantage; he's not transsexual, and one of the biggest obstacles to understanding transsexualism is that it is unimaginable and inconceivable to those who don't have it. I had a similar problem with my father at the beginning of my transition; he was trying very hard, but he couldn't get his head around it (he has now; I can't tell you how wonderful I felt the first time he introduced me to someone as "my daughter Diane")
He may never fully understand WHY you have to transition; but he can, and will eventually, understand that you DO have to.

Cherish his support; it's sadly still quite rare.
Reassure him that you still love him, and you appreciate his efforts to understand; try to teach him, but don't rush it, or give him more information than he can process. Don't leave him behind in your (understandable) eagerness to transition; his love and support is invaluable.

Answer 2

I'm guessing that you are transitioning gender wise?

You don't give any details, but it seems to me that if you really care about him you should try to clarify just a little bit more. Try gently telling him "I'm not sure you quite understand what I'm saying. I'll explain..." and try again. However, if he's really just not getting it, even after a long time, and it gets really frustrating and upsetting, then it's time to move on. There are tons of other people in this world that will understand you, and you can always draw support from them.

Good luck. =)

Answer 3

Rhiannon, you don't say your age or whether you still live with your family, and if moving on is "finding independence".

It at least sounds that he is trying and not being out and out negative or hostile. Let it rest for however long it takes .... sometimes people need time.

Sometimes family never come 100% to terms with a transition, but will still be supportive .... which is way better than the total rejection so many trans people face.

Answer 4

Some folks know that such will happen, or that it is likely to happen, anyway and prepare for it. One tack to take is simply to make a life elsewhere, new names and all, and then return AFTER you've fully adjusted to the new life. Then return to the old neighborhood as a stranger, cultivating relationships with family as a new friend.

The choice is essentially, do you want to disturb family and friends, or let them rediscover you after you fully and truly have changed. Either way, it is not easy. Good luck.

Answer 5

Accept his attempt to understand, and continue the dialouge over the next few weeks. Reassure him that no matter what he will always be your father and you are counting on that for insight and experience with life and his support. Hug him and let him know you appreciate his efforts. Then do what you have to do with the confidence that you set the standard for your future relationship with your father.

Answer 6

This seems to happen once in awhile. I know a girl who transitioned nearly 10 years ago, and her family were very supportive, or so she thought. It seems her mom just told her she never supported her choices, but just 'pretended' to. I think that's a harsh blow. Personally, I would suppport my children no matter what, and I'm not sure I would be able to keep in contact with my family if they didn't support me (I'm transsexual, postop of four years).

Answer 7

sweetie my dad is the same way but as time goes by the more he seems to understand. the important thing is he is still in your life. just give him time.

Answer 8

What "transition?"

Are you going to start transitioning from Male to Female or vice versa?

Other than that, accepting your own personal sexual orientation isn't so much a transition as it is a realization.