does husband feel insecure about married life??

Question

women have insecurities. they usually want to spend their whole life with the same man after marrige so they make efforts. do u think that man k feel like that too??

Answer 1

Yes, because, believe it or not, men are people, too. They have insecurities, just like women do. Forget that 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' stuff - you need, first and foremost, to know that men, just like women, are human beings. They have a tough exterior, but they are soft inside, and women have the power to hurt them very deeply.

They have feelings, but they just express them a different way, that's all. Women talk a lot when there's a problem, and men usually go silent. So, one gets on the other's nerves and the other needs to be prised apart! Vive la difference, I say!

The problem with us women - especially when we're younger - is we want to make our men like us. Do you remember what Professor Higgins said 'Why can't a woman be like a man?' - well, that's what we try to do to men - to feminise them. Just try looking at things from their point of view and you'll see why they can feel 'under attack' and get stubborn and defensive.

Men will fight for their masculinity - and, by the way, the right to do things their way - to their last breath, so the wise woman learns to let her man just BE WHO HE IS. Don't try to change him, you will fail. Men are conservative creatures and resist change like the plague. Why? Because they happen to like the way they are - warts and all.

Try reversing the picture and ask yourself - do you like the way you are? Yes, because it's taken you a long time, making your choices, to become who you are. You have your own style, which is distinctly YOU and you reserve the right to express that. Whoever takes you on must take you, as it were 'bag and baggage'.

Well, men are EVEN MORE tenacious about their masculinity, their identity and their funny little ways than we are. We, the females, are given to be more flexible, and the wise woman realises that's just the way men and women are made, so she adopts a flexible, more tolerant attitude (counting to ten often) and learns to do what a man craves. What is that? It is to ACCEPT HIM THE WAY HE IS.

You want to change him, girls? Give up. Right from the start, accept him the way he is. He married you, didn't he, and chose you out of all the other women, didn't he? - then be satisfied. If you do that, you will give him immense security and contentment just from this one thing, because there will be peace at home (which is another thing he craves). You will be well on the way to being a very good wife, and in his quiet way, he will notice that, believe me.

Then, guess what happens? He will be so thankful that - surprise, surprise - he will begin to change. But not because of anything you said - or nattered at - simply because a person chooses to change when he feels really happy and secure. Of his own volition. And what do you do? Well, you appreciate the little things he does (he will love that) and repay them with doing little things for him (like looking after his socks - important to men) and the security grows and grows.

So, yes, certainly, men feel just as insecure about married life as women do and they (I nearly said 'have a lazy streak') are more resistant to change than we are, actually, so they like to stick with one woman and build on that instead of pulling everything apart and starting again, which jars them.

Will they make efforts? Yes, if you make them happy and secure - but, quite frankly, you have to leave them to express their own 'efforts' in the way they feel (and learn as they go), because men's way of looking at 'how to do it' and women's can differ considerably. They will buy you the birthday gift you didn't really want, having tried so hard to think of what 'she' wanted (it's a different world, to them!) and it will take years before they can really get to understand the female mind. They think any 'nice smellie' or long silk nighty will do, and they don't understand that WE'RE PARTICULAR. We've been round the shops fifty times to their one.

There you are, you have got something to work on there, together, for years, and you need to adopt the attitude that it's going to be fun finding out each other's little foibles. Learn to celebrate the difference and respect the other's right to be who he/she is. That way, security - and love through mutual respect - will grow.

Answer 2

First I cannot strenously disagree enough with the women usually want to spend their whole life statement. People change life changes them. What they were seeking at the time isnt always what they want later in life. What holds them back men and women are honest to god fear. Going back to living in an apartment instead of a house. What about work what will my parents think . We have a child. What effort are you making right now to keep your man happy. and don't tell me some christmas sex coupon good for a massage. On the other hand what is he doing to keep you happy. Is he in touch with his feelings without being a sap. Those are the efforts. The problem being is we become ourselves around our spouses. Yes we become our farting, drooling, leaving the feminine hygiene product wrappers out, cant put the toilet seat down chain-saw snoring selves. We become complacent in the bedroom because its the same thing every night. We become ourselves and we say the magic is gone. Women wonder why their husband is looking at cheerleader porn on the internet thinking its gross instead of " wow I wonder how much he might rock my world if I got some pom-poms and pigtails? " Guys are thinking cripes does she ever let it be when we watch football instead of "hey If I take her to the sports bar with some of our friends. or hell send her out shopping with whomever. I can get some peace. No we become ourselves. and ourselves suck. Remember how much you tried to impress each other when you first met. If it was in the sack at a restaurant where ever you were anyone but yourself. So no I don't thing Women make "efforts" Nor do Men we just keep being ourselves and hating each other after we find out how boring we are.

Answer 3

What? Should a man feel like he wants to spend the rest of his life with his wife? Assuming that's the question then yes, that's usually why people get married. Sadly, it seldom works that way. That's why over 50% of marriages fail. Sorry

Answer 4

I use to feel secure, use to believe my wife could never feel for another man and only love me. Then about a year ago she had an emotional affair that lasted about 4 months. Now I don't trust her and have many insecurities, even though I can tell she regrets it and would probably never do it again.

Answer 5

Yes, men feel insecure as well. Most men are afraid that if they loose their earning power, or if they do not perform in the bedroom, their wife will leave them or cheat on them. Just as women are concerned that if they get fat and ugly their husband will leave them or cheat on them. That's why there are just as many performance enhance pills as diet pills.

Answer 6

men r not insecure but offcourse nice people always like to spend life with their wife. and why to think of non-decent people who spoil their married lives for some or other reasons

Answer 7

My husband is very insecure and he's always doing things for me to make sure I don't stop loving him I guess. I kind of enjoy it, but hate the fact that he always asks me stupid questions.

Answer 8

yes, but men have more weakness points than women in terms of having an affairs at least one in marriage life.

Answer 9

yes the do.. and those insecurities lead to jealously and then to divorce

Answer 10

sure...why not everyone can get like that at times.