Long story short. My boyfriend has been friends with a female before I came in the picture. In the past she has asked him to do things like shopping w/her and he on occasion has dinner w/her at her restaurant. Last weekend, she hosted a party at her restaurant for another friend. She invited him and he then invited me. Like I anticipated, she kept glancing over at us, and trying to catch his eye. At the end of the evening, they hugged (a little too closely, I think) and he said "I'll try to stop by next week". I didn't say a word to him on the way home and although he didn't say anything, he knew I was ticked off. I know I don't have the right to pick his friends, but I can't help feeling this chick has her claws set on him. I know that if there was something going on, he may not have invited me to the party, but I noticed he wasn't as affectionate as he normally was either. am I worrying for nothing? Thoughts?
2007-12-04 08:45:53 · 26 answers · asked by Lily 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Either you trust him or you don't. And since she was his friend before you too were together then you cant expect him to stop being her friend. Obviously for some reason he isn't with her, he is with you. And even if she has feelings for him, it doesn't mean he has any for her. I wouldn't worry about it to much, and if you get mad at him because of him being friends with her, you may very well push him away.
2007-12-04 08:55:19 · answer #1 · answered by cris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You my friend are insecure. Yes, she obviously wants more from their relationship, at least that is how you portray her. But, also obviously he does not. If I was leaning towards another woman, the very last place I would take my GF is over there. He feels bad because he has a friend that you do not appreciate. He likes her as a friend only and he does not understand why you don't trust him.
I too, have many female friends. I will do whatever I can to help them, because I am a nice guy. It does not mean I want to know them sexually. I have in fact had women come right out and tell me that they wanted to have sex with me. I could have but I wouldn't, because I love my wife. Have faith, please. It kills a little piece of my heart every time my wife says something snide about another woman who I may be freinds with. Stop....please before you create an environment where he starts to keep things from you because he knows you will freak if he tells you. That ladies is not what a best friend is. And if I had a dollar for everytime I heard a woman go on about how important it is to be best friends with your mate I would be rich. So, if best friends is what you want, then act like a best friend, don't judge. Be a friend.
Yoda out
2007-12-04 08:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by Yoda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely UNDERSTAND! My husband works in an entirely female work place....so naturally all his friends are female. Ok. So.....you feel that this woman has attached herself to your boyfriend. Ask him what his intentions are with her because you are feeling insecure about thier relationship and that you are concerned that it might turn into more than an insecurity and become full on Jealousy. (personally I hate being jealous but find that I am.....very very jealous of a couple of my husband girl friends.....so much so that I become a raving ***** when he goes to visit them) My husband has started to realise that when I say Im insecure that I mean "Dont do it again or else" If he is understanding then you really don't have anything to worry about however if he becomes aggitated by ask him how he would like it if one of your guy friends from highschool came back into your life and you spent a lot of time with him and had dinners with him without your bf. It might work just to put it in perspective for him. Hope this helps I kind of rambled.
Momma_Bear
2007-12-04 08:56:59 · answer #3 · answered by the_morris_bears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can go both ways. Women of course are suspicious of other women. I'm still suspicious when my husband's ex-wife comes over. She could have been glancing your way because she cares and wants him to be happy. Then again she could be like Julia Roberts in "My Best Friends Wedding" and she really does love him but doesn't know how to tell him. The bottom line is this. If he really loves you, you have nothing to worry about. If his heart is torn between you and her, then there is something to worry about. I would talk to him calmly about your feelings and ask him where you stand and where she stands. I'm sure you will feel better about the situation.
2007-12-04 08:51:54 · answer #4 · answered by dollfacedbaby1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may have come on to him in the past and by him inviting you to the party, lets her know that you two are still together and he just wants her as a friend. Only worry when he stops inviting you
2007-12-04 09:15:10 · answer #5 · answered by all or nothing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to keep friends of the opposite sex once u get into a serious relationship with someone, and I really don't think it is fair to the new person when u do. The only time it is ok I think is when that friend is also married or in a serious relationship. But I know that I couldn't handle my bf or husband having dinner with another woman or going shopping.......I'm sorry, that doesn't work in my book. A casual phone call once in awhile to see how he is doing would be ok, but if he truly cares about YOU, then he would understand you not wanting to share your time with him with another woman.
2007-12-04 09:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by Amber 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are basically two sexes in the world. Male & female.
For a guy to ask a girl, or a girl to ask a guy to not see or be friends with anyone of the opposite sex is not realistic.
If you can't handle it, I would advise you to bail out now. Just tell him how you feel.
If you think you can handle it, stop being suspicious and accept it. However, just like in any relationship, you have to have so much unconditional trust. You can't live with fear and doubt and the ugly attitudes that follow.
2007-12-04 08:58:16 · answer #7 · answered by Rocky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are thinking correctly. Maybe he is having 2nd thoughts. But with that said if he is, its better now than 4 yrs married and 2.5 kids before you realize it wasn't meant to be. He also might just be confused as well, but we still have to get are partners attention even when were married for 20 years, sometimes we get to placid and forget about appreciating each other like we should..
2007-12-04 08:52:37 · answer #8 · answered by keithleyjustin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as they're only friends I wouldn't worry about it. In fact, I think it's healthy to have friends of the opposite sex - if she wanted your boyfriend she could have made a move before you came along!
2007-12-04 08:52:34 · answer #9 · answered by Cieguilla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if she was his friend before you all that's OK but whats not OK is that she not invite you to her things she invites him cause if she wanted to just be his friend she would include you too!!!! you know something is up when he changes the way he is with you infront of her.. girl ask both of them whats the deal with them... find out if not you will always worry about whats going on when they are together.
2007-12-04 09:01:34 · answer #10 · answered by chica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋