I have been married for a little over 2 years, and we have a 19 month old son. Well i'm not happy or am i in love with him anymore, i want OUT!! My mom say's to go stay with her for a little while to see if this is what i really want, and i know this is what i want. I went and talked to a lawyer and everything already. No one in my family likes this guy, and it makes me look like a complete idiot, he lies 24/7, and i'm just sick of everything, i want out. Can someone plese give me some advice on how to go about telling him i want a divorce? Someone who has been through this. I got married at 18 and i'm only 21 now, i just want out!!!
2007-12-04 08:37:34 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go to your mom's, now, today, as soon as you can. See a lawyer and start divorce proceedings. Call him from your mom's if you want to do that, or you can have your lawyer take care of any contact with him. You were not much more than a child yourself when you got married. You cannot be a good mom to your own child if you are unhappy yourself. We all change a great deal in the years between 18 and 30, so don't be in a hurry to find someone new. Take some time for yourself and your child and let your heart and soul recover.
2007-12-04 08:49:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did divorce a husband after 18 years of marriage.
Your mother is probably right. Take a little time and think about it for a while. Things might look differently if you have time to think things through.
There is no good way to tell someone that you don't love them anymore and want a divorce. Think of what you would want someone to say to you if they were leaving you. Be kind. He will probably not react how you expect him to react. Be prepared to hear alot of things you wouldn't expect. He could cry, be angry, hate you, say really mean things. Just be prepared. Maybe you
should tell him you would like to try counseling because you don't feel the same way you used to. That would give you both closure if it didn't work out. Good Luck.
2007-12-04 16:45:23 · answer #2 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the deal. If you're not happy get out. It's that simple. If I were you I would go stay with Mom and get some money saved up so that when you get your own place you're in a good place financially.
As far as what God thinks. Here's the deal. Divorce is not a good thing. However God is a forgiving God and knows that you are not perfect and make mistakes. If you truly feel like you made a mistake in marrying your husband in the first place ask for God's forgiveness and he will give it to you. Keep in mind when God forgives it's just like erasing a blackboard, he'll never know it was there so you need to forgive yourself also.
2007-12-04 16:52:13 · answer #3 · answered by sassypurplecat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave and then talk to him and tell him what you want. Be care full. If this is what you want then just do it and never look back. Remember he may be anger for a long time and he must have some time. Do not expect anything from him and never dog him to your child, this will cause problems for your son in his adult life. Let the father do what he can, wants and is able to do. Don't pressure him into anything if he is a good father it will show, if not then everyone will know without being told including your son. Never bad talk anyone anyways, it is always best to let people figure things out on their own.
2007-12-04 16:51:16 · answer #4 · answered by jalwells 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too was married at 18 but stayed that way for 14 years. When it came time for us to split up we both knew it was over. I just told him I was leaving. Some women don't feel comfortable with that though. Some women will tell you to wait until he is away from the house for a while and leave him a "Dear John" letter. I don't know you or this guy. Feel the situation out. If you think it is best to tell him then just come out and say it. Don't wait until you guys get into an arguement to tell him. Sit down with him and tell him you are unhappy in the relationship and you think it's time for some time apart. If you don't feel comfortable talking to him then write him a letter and leave while he is gone. I wish you luck.
2007-12-04 16:46:03 · answer #5 · answered by dollfacedbaby1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is talk with him and tell him that you are not happy and that you want a divorce and based on the lies and problems that you have and you are not in love with him anymore and that you thought that you fell in love with someone different and that you will be filing for a divorce soon. That you can not be unhappy because life is too short to live this way.
2007-12-04 16:44:51 · answer #6 · answered by Single123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off is he violent? if you are afraid of him i would leave while he's at work. leave him a note telling him how you feel. don't tell him where you are going although he'll probably figure it out easily enough. give it some time you may find you just needed time. but if you still want the divorce by all means go ahead with it because if you are not happy that will bleed over and effect your child. good luck to you i hope things work out for you.
2007-12-04 16:57:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just come right out and tell him. He probably suspects you are not happy. Just tell him you are not happy being married, sorry, but you are moving out and the attorney will contact him. I got married at 17 and divorced at 20. Be ready to leave when you tell him, or even better, clear out your stuff during the day while he is at work, take the baby to Mom's, and tell him when he gets home. It seems mean and cruel but it won't be easy any way you tell him. Good luck.
2007-12-04 16:56:16 · answer #8 · answered by Pam H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are prgnant with twins and that you are having an affair with several men. He will be relieved when he finds out all you really want is a divorce. HaHa I know I would be.
Seriously, file the papers and tell him. If you go to Mom's, please do me a favor though. Have a plan on when and how you will get back out on your own. Do not burden her any more than you have to. You screwed up. Now it's time to get your self together and become a grown up.
Yoda out
2007-12-04 16:48:23 · answer #9 · answered by Yoda 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you have to do is meet with the attorney, sign the paper work, and let the courts do the rest. They will serve him and everything. Go to your moms and stay so you can save some money to get on your feet, and she can help you with the baby. You don't need a guy like that in your life. You are too young to spend the rest of your life with a loser.
2007-12-04 16:43:08 · answer #10 · answered by Shannon29 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋